Monday, May 15, 2006

I knew I wouldn't

When I was typing in my previous post that I would write more in a few minutes, I knew that I was not going to do it. I was feeling tired and probably that was my laziness. Today I woke up early and one of my daily chores, the one to get milk from outside daily in th morning, was done by dad. Thanx to him I was just lying on my bed. I fnally got up when mom was leaving.

Yesterday, May 15th, was my paternal grandfather's death aniversary. I was a little more than 5 years when he expired. I don't remember much about him but I do have clear visuals still fresh in my mind about the way I used to narrate poems in front of him and he used to appreciate me. I have always learned from my dad that he was a man of principles - a very strict father. He was M.Ed. from Aligar University and a Headmaster in a government school.

I remember my telling me about my grabdfather's only experience of having tea at a hotel. He was told by one of his students that a restaurant near Charminar sells very nice tea so he took along and went there. It was amazing to know that he didn't like what he drank there. I used to think that a man (so disciplined) would hardly have any friends. But I was wrong. A few months back I came to know about a friend of his who still resides in Salarjung Colony. They were very good friends according to my aunt. And did I tell anybody that when I was born, we used to reside in Salarjung Colony - according to my dad I lived there for a little more than 8 months with my grandfather, and obviously I remember nothing about it. I do remeber the day when he expired. That was probably the only time when I saw my dad, outside our house, with is shirt not tucked in though he had his shoes on. I remember the vening when I was playing outside with a distant cousin of mine and I was scolded by someone and was asked not to make any noice; my ego was as small as my age and that did not effect my self-regard - I didn't feel bad for being scolded.


Coming now, when I try to recollect everything about my grandfather, I realise that ather than trying to find out about him, I sould be more busy doing something else. So, though I respect him a lot, I do not have much concen for what kind of a person he was; I am more concerned with what kind of a person his 5th son's eldest son is.


Then came my biggest blow of my life. May 10th 2004. It was 8:30 in the evening and I was watching television. I got a call from my uncle (my dad's cousine). He asked me for for dad but as he was not at home I gave him his cell number. 20 minutes later I got a call from my dad. I could hear him weaping. I can't forget that. I head my dad weaping and that itself brought tears in my eyes. He informed me that my aunt, his eldest sister, has expired. I couldn't believe it. In those days my mom had her mosting in Sangareddy. She came at 9 and I met her at the entrance itself and told her about this. She was shocked. Then my dad called her on her fone thinking that she hadn't reachd home. He asked us to come to my aunt's house. I hugged my dad when I met him there. I went inside. I saw my cousin brother, the eldest of all my cousin brothers, crying. I couldn't believe he was crying, he was supposed to be the bravest of all in our family. But his mother had expired and nothing else can be expected from him. I saw my aunt's ody there. She was lying on the very same bad where I remember sitting on her lap just a few years ago. I didn't cry.


I haven't cried about her death even till now. I just can't believe that she is gone. Whenever I go to my cousin's house, I can easily feel her presence there somewhere around. She is always there, she hasn't left us. In every party, in every function, I know she is there with us. But I know I am going to cry one day for her, and I know when that day is going to be. I am not out of that shock yet.

Anyways I guess this has just become a lengthy post. I will write again today evening or today night about today. Tomorrow my aunt, my mom's youngest sister is leaving for Mecca to live with her husband forever. I have been with her since the day I was born and I am surely going to miss her a lot. This will be the first time that I may possibly cry for a relative who is leaving abroad. Her departure will be tough for me to digest. It will take time. So today I have to go to her house to help her with some packing ... I wanted to leave in the afternoon but mom asked me to go there only in the eveing given the hot sun.

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