Monday, May 8, 2006

It happens ... and I still believe that I am doing great

I do not know why Yahoo Messenger has decided to decieve me and hurt me. I was online and visible to everyone on my list for so long today and no one could see me online. Thank God I had my cusin online who helped me know this. I was really irriteted with what all I did to help with this and finally decided to uninstall it and reinstall (this takes 30 mins for online installation along with that crap yahoo toolbar... i prefer using google toolbar). To my horror even this was of zero help. Then I found that its only my regular ID that has a problem. I think yahoo doesnt likes to see me online for so much of time.

yahoo, yahoo, yahoo.
why do you
make me think of you
as a taboo.
I was alone all day,
and you
say u r the best,
wat may.
you irritated me today,
hey,
yahoo, yahoo, yahoo.

:D I am tring to do some time pass.

And because of all this irritation (a pain in my neck), I am not able to update my blogs too. I was planning of an update for flowing emotions and the technology blog but this develish messenger took my time away.

Yesterday night I reorganised all my pics on my pictures blog. I removed a few for the reason that is already stated on the top of that page - "of cource there are many more but they don't wish to be here".

Anyways my day was not as bad as I was exhibiting in my words above. I did have a short chat with a friend and many abstract chats with my cousin.

Actually I think I did get a mood swing today which fought with my commitment to a decision so there was some mental disturbance that created jerky and unruly waves. I am still under it now and the kiddish and cheeky poem I have written some lines up was a fragment of the frustration. I need some space to breath, I cant sit at home for so long and see the same faces all day and night. I am not oombing my hair so seeing myself in a mirror too a threat to my weak mental balance that is resting on strong memories of the past. Once these memories dissolve in the verve with time, I can rest easily on flat base - strong and steadfast. I am waiting for it.

I also found some time pass with yahoo answers. Check out the links on the right side bar of this page.

And yes, I lost one more thing (I am losing something or the other every other day, so nothing new). I used to have my pictures listing in the top 10 searches when searched for "my pictures" in MSN search. I daily used to remove the first pic from my blog and repost it so that it appears that I have updated the blog and it kept its position in the top 10. But now, even after doing the same thing twice a day, I cant see my blog in the top 30. I have lost so many visitors and I got just 9 visitors today and I am myself 2 of those 9. My average was well above 60 untill a couple of days back. This also effects my merits in adsense. I hope I dont see anymore losses and defeats in the dates to come.

One thing I can't hide ... I am frustrated and also angry ... and I know why it is so. I m doing really great :((

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