Too Rich Or Too Poor

I have died so little today, friend, forgive me. 

- Thomas Lux 

I badly want to write though little do I know what to; that's insignificant. I spent almost the whole day in the group-study room of the library. Thrice I stood at the glass wall overlooking a construction site wondering what's going wrong. Wondering doesn't help much; thinking might but actions always do. Some places seem as if they have been a part of my life for a long, some people give that impression too and some just seem to say "you are weird, too sticky; better stay away". Alhamdulillah places don't speak. Logic and the need for love don't go well together.

I had to submit a 'take-home' midterm test on Friday before 7 pm. I had 26 hours of time to answer 5 questions. I remember studying the DES and the Triple - DES algorithm back in engineering; one of the questions expected me to write an algorithm to attack a variant of DES called MV DESX and recover the keys. The approach I adopted was 'meet-in-the-middle attack'. I am not sure what the professor expects but I was glad I could come up with the technique. I slept only 2 hours the other night, 3 hours on Friday evening and it's 6:06 am now. I need to retire at the earliest.

All of the 24 hours in a day seem to be different. It's different when I talk to my room mates, it's something when I talk to parents, it's something else when I talk to friends and the rest of the time is disturbing. I need to be doing something that either keeps my mind busy not letting it think a few things or just something that reduces the sense of feeling. I don't miss home much now, I talk to my parents daily alhamdulillah, I am used to the new place, I like the people here, I have a sense of belonging, I have many things I can do and enjoy; I just can't think of a single person I can call up whenever I feel the excruciating need to talk, share and show love to; peace is absent.