I did almost the same thing today as I did yesterday - slept after coming home. But the difference was that it was a disturbed sleep and I could continously feel my heart beating faster.
The day at the college was fine; should have been great actually considering that way I am supposed to be. Started with the first lab of the year and I was happy that I liked it. The fans started working today - thanx to my classmates.
Yesterday and even today - I do not understand what is happening. I wonder if I am a fool being this way. I know no matter how things are I always have the option to be happy but this time its not working. Perhaps I need more austerity but I was preferring calling all this as mood swings. I am tired of them too. I don't think it is the mood that is swinging but something else that is between the two minds I have. I am hardly able to look into the eyes of the people I am talking to.
Today I got an ink bottle - I want to relive the art of calligraphy I had learnt 7 years back. It was taught to me by my sister and ever since then I am stagnating myself. Though I have done some practice sometimes but I didn't learn anything more that what I had previously. I think I will get something on the internet that will teach me some more scripts. I also have to update my other blogs - just not getting the right motivation. If I had somehting like a storage drive attached to my brain, I could have saved everything I think all through the day. I will produce volumes everyday!
I made a short visit to a fast food corner today with my friends. We had been going to that place for the past few months but this visit was after a long gap. We hope to visit that place frequently now!
I had started writing a letter few weeks back, so many times I have prompted myself to g that thing done but I already feel nostalgic whenever I sit in front of the computer screen.
Today hile I was out to get some snacks in the evening, while on the road, I felt something new inside me saying I need to work hard now - just for myself. I know I have felt these kind of short-lived persuations by my heart. I somehow need to get going smoothly now as I used to when I was in my first year of my engineering.
I watched the television today - it was necessary. I couldn't understand how easily people decide that it is alright to kill innocent humans. I was supposed to be moved my the scenes shown but it looked as if I am used to it and no spilling of human blood can purturb me. For once I thought "what has happened to me?". It was just the result of watching television all these years, it has made me indifferent to violence to some extent. I understand this is not good.
Every human who is normal but can't think has no right to live in this world. He has no right to be left alive especially when he has turned out to be a murderer. I do not care what religion these people belong to but all that I know is that they won't be getting any mercy from my Lord for whta they are doing. Sometimes I think twice before evening killing a mosquito that is biting me, and these damned heartless numbskulls kill human beings.
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