I was trying to find out what had made me put that list of 5 topics on Flowing Emotions. I had done it out of a thought that putting myself under pressure would make me yield something. Yesterday when I wrote about dreams, I had a terrible head ache. I wanted to stop but I was under pressure from myself! Everybody says people sometimes do better when they are forced, if 'Dreams' was nice, then they are correct.
I may not write on the last topic on the list - 'My 19 Years'. I will someday write somehing else I have in my mind which will resemble what this name suggests. I will sure write on 'The Art of Confessing'. But presently I am confused with some points. I have read things on confessions which have prompted me to think moreon it but after that prompting started, I read few more things at someother place which has got me into a conflict. Not getting big on talk I would just like to say that I will write it when I feel I am fit to explain if it is really an art of foolishness.
Today I asked my dentist sister about the wisdom that is growing in my upper jaw on the left side. She said people usually get is in their 21-30 years of age. She even said some people get it a little earlier too - 2 years in my case.
I have been feeling this teeth coming out with my tongue for past several weeks. At first i was just a hard swelling in the corner. Then a sharp bony thing came out. I then realised that it was a real teeth. It grew for several weeks. It was just half of the actual size of any jaw. The 3 weeks back I felt another very small swelling just near the previous one. Now the other part of the same teeth is out and perhaps in a few more weeks to come I will have the complete thing when I feel for it with my tongue. I wonder why I am among those 'some people' who get wisdom teeth early - 2 years early in my case!
Today, after many days, I had all my 3 meals at correct stipulated times. My break fast was at 9:30 am, lunch at 3 pm and dinner at 10 pm. I had a chicken rool as lunch, I didn't feel like eating the same food I had in the morning. I eat only rice, I don't like what others eat - 'roti' - especially the one that is cooked at home.
Thinking about the things I don't eat, there is a huge list of that, my mother is always with her complains. I don't eat curds, I don't like milk and paneer, I hat cabbage and colliflower, I always insist I am never forced to eat brinjal. I eat all leafy vegetables, tomato, potato, ladies finger, and ... one or two things here and there whose names are unknown to me in english. I am a little conscious about the curries that have 'masala' in them - they have poppy seeds and they induce a little sleep. I like everything from restaurants :D ... of course not the things I have mentioned above.
Untill I had a good experience in my 8th standard, I never used to like having 'dal' in my plate. Then one day I went to an NCC (National Cadet Corps) camp. It was a 10 day camp and I came back home in 2 days! The food being served there was incompatible with my tongus and stomach. The rice was sticky with big grains and the 'dal' was a little thicker than water. There were some other vegetable too that didn't appel to my eyes and nose. I had meals there only twice in 2 days. My mother's colleague's son was with me, so my mother's colleague was there to meet her son. I was already falling ill (not exactly physically), I requested my sir who called my father and asked him if I can be allowed to leave. I was home in a couple of hours. I finally fell ill and was on bed for the next 6 days. There after I like the 'dal' that is cooked at home. I can eat all three times a day, 7 days a week without any complain.
When I was in a primary class (I don't remember which exactly), my mother once forced me to eat curds. The immidiate reaction was a womitting. I never dared to taste it again till date. I eat all dishes that have cooked curd in it but not anything that tastes like curd. My brother says I am 'typical', 'diffirent' and 'mad'. Sometimes I do like being called this way, but sometimes I wish I knew why he says that.
Yesterday night was terrible for me. After doing all that I do before sleeping, I finally lay down on my bed. The next hour I spent the most tensed momments of my life in last one year. I got a call from my grandmother. She said that my grandfather is not well - he wanted to go the bathroom, couldn't go, felt giddiness ... Till that time my mother was beside me and I handed the telephone set to her. She heard the complete thing getting terrified. I think she was about to cry. She called my other aunt who lives in the near-old-city area. Presently we don't have our car with us, my aunt who has come from abroad is using it. So, it was my aunt who had to come to take my grandfather to the hospital. The telephone rang again, tis time it was my other aunt who lives with my grandparents who was apeeking. She said "somehting has happened to father, please come here soon." My parents left immidiately. My mom was almost in tears. I kept waiting sitting with the telephone,spending tensed moments. When my aunt said "'something' has happened" she didn't realise what this 'something' precisely means. I waited for 15 minutes for my parents to reach there. Then I dialed my father's cell no.. I had my heart in my throat. I didn't want to call any landline no. for my mother to receive and tell me things in haste and fear. I thought my father was the best person to tell me what had happened. When I head his voice, the way he greeted me to the talk, I was with every relief Icould have had at that moment. His voice told me that nothing was as serious as it seemed. He then said that my grandfather had just found is blood pressure very low so he felt giddiness. Then my mother spoke telling me the same thing with a voice that sounded relaxed but still had fear in it. They were back hom after an hour. My other aunt arrived there and left within few minutes of knowing that everything was fine.
That 'something' was the actual evil. Whenever I write for my blogs or any letters I avoid using that word. Even if I use it I do it in such a way that the other sentenses around it define what exactly it means. It is the veil that corrupts tha mind not what lies behind it!!! So it better not to gess the hidden truths - every hidden truth gives the smell of lies.
(I have not reviewed what all I have written today so spelling and gramatical mistakes are expected, but no mistakes in ideas!)
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