Wise or Conservative?

Some days back when I told my parents that I was not going to the farewell party, they thought I was keeping away from it with money as the reason and they said they would pay for it. I never expect them to know the reason. I refused to take any money even when I could have taken the money and used it for some other thing. There were a few friends of mine who too thought that I wasn't coming because of money. For all of those, I can perhaps mention that today my mother gave me Rs.40,000. It was not cash but in the form of two bank receipts of the money she deposited in my name. She directed that I must be spending it on a specific thing but we both know that that thing hardly takes more than Rs.5000. The rest is mine. I have no intentions of getting it liquidated.

All along these days, I have also told a few of my friends that I neither discourage nor do I encourage the farewell party. Today, I somehow feel that I should have tried to stop it. I should have spoken directly to some people and asked them not to give any money. There were some already who told that they wouldn't give money because I wasn't and I had insisted that they must go ahead with it. I regret not trying to stop anybody. I ended up encouraging. That was my foolishness. I am glad that I kept away form it.

Today I also got to know from my mother a little about how she manages her money. I was amazed to know how meticulously she takes care of her finances and I realized that she is doing a lot similar to what the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" was saying. Mother understands the difference between an asset and a liability. She knows how a house is sometimes not an asset but a liability. She knows how important it is to have a balanced balance sheet and how important assets. She perhaps also know that an asset is an asset only when it can create income. Perhaps the way she has invested her money till now makes things clear.

My mother never bought luxuries until she had sufficient assets. She gave more importance to assets rather than luxuries. Those people especially from poor and middle-class who do not have financial education try to acquire more and more luxuries because they want to show that they are rich. They end up digging holes in their pockets and acquiring more liabilities in the form of loans and credit-card bills. My mother knew how to save taxes and how the government can eat up a big chunk of her salary if she didn’t knew the rules and laws related to the constitution which can help her save taxes.

Wealth is the number of days is the number of days I can live the same lifestyle I am living if I stop getting money now. There is a golden rule. Those who have gold make most of the rules. My college masters in producing students who are good employees. No doubt so many companies come to my college to hire students. So the college has to create good employers for them. My college doesn’t know how to create employers.

I thank Allah that my mother could teach me so much about money and finances. I remember when she explained me how a penny saved is a penny gained. I have also learned that it is not about how much money you earn. It is all about how much money you keep with you. Money is my mother’s area of expertise. I learnt so mush just by looking at her. When I go to college, study my syllabus and do many things just so that I can get a good job to earn money, I find it necessary that I must learn what money is and how it must be kept! And I am learning. My mother is helping me. My father is unfortunately not interested in money. He knows how to earn what he earns. He doesn’t know what has to be done after that. Many people don’t know that. I can give several examples. But not here!

Until sometime back I felt as if I should break my computer screen’s glass or take the car, go for a drive, drive as fast as I could and bang into some wall. To contain myself I thought of calling up some friend and pacify myself. I went to the Asar prayer and came to write this. I feel better now. It’s Magrib now. Alhmdulillah.

Smile

I reached home around 6:30 pm today. My friend dropped me at Mehdipatnam from where I thought I would find some means to come back home. I had to walk upto Tolichowki from Mehdipatnam. The foolishness of the State Government in coming out with the protest struck me hard. I walked for more than 30 minutes continuously.

Before that along with four friends of mine, I had been to Abids to do the shopping for the Farewell party which is supposed to be today, the 5th. I felt a little uneasy being into this so much when I had decided not to get involved into anything related to it. Being with my friends made me give time to it. I won't be going for the party now - obviously. It will be a not-so-good feeling staying at home all day. I will learn a new thing.

It's one of my very good friend's birthday today. As I had decided earlier, I prepared a blog to make the greetings instead of an e-card. I have done it twice before. I may get out of my house tomorrow if my friends decide to celebrate this occasion. Perhaps I hope that it happens.

That stupid song ... guess you never felt that way

Yesterday just before sleeping I had set the alarm in my phone to wake me up at 5:31 am. At 8:00 am I was wondering if I was so much into sleeping that I don't even remembering turning it off especially given that snooze requires pressing of the exact button which I believe is not humanly possibly to do when I am so much into sleep. Perhaps I need to get my brain's abilities revisited!

Today was a different day for me. 'Confusing' and 'precarious' can be the right terminology. As I always believe that some things happen for the first times in our lives and it is nice that they happen. They further increase the knowledge base and experience more into maturity. This is what I need - more maturity - badly.

I don't have much to write for today. I know I have reduced the size of my posts to a near one-third of what I used to write until a couple of weeks back. What can I do? Things change. They change people. Most importantly, they cause to change perceptions. My idea of trying to be a better person will never change.

Good happens only when good people are involved in the endeavors. Perchance, when the bad start anything worth a talk about, the good fall into apprehensions. That would be a clear case of negativity which must invariably be throttled to naught. A mirror speaks of what it can see. A mirror inside my heart can be more helpful. I find it troublesome at times I look in there. It's a pain in my neck.

On the left side of my computer - the left of my perception - is a printer that might well be wondering if it is ever going to work again. If it could ask me about the same, I would start with a humble apology, then continue saying that I may consider some action only when my summer vacation starts. That will be after 18th of May. Allah is great. I realize it every time I know that I am real. this happens every second. Alhamdulillah.

I have a reason

Yesterday afternoon one of my friend took my computer's hard-drive with him. He had some back-ups of the data I lost. So now that I have almost everything back, I feel glad for sharing my data and also for having a person who respected it. I understand he had nothing to do with more than half of it but yet he kept it with him! He was kind enough to come to my house, take the disk with him, again come back again today.

Yesterday evening I went along with my friends to 'Dastar' near KBR park and 'Saarvi'. We had hukka and lots of fun. I returned home at 11 pm. Earlier in the college I had my last theory internal. After that there were some discussion going on about the farewell party. I was there in the class. I was just there. To be with my friends.

Yesterday, the 31st of March, marked the completion of one year of this blog. Today's past is the 271st.

If it is done again ... Allah help me

I was reading a book around 9:30 pm and I don't remember when I fell asleep. I woke up by myself a little after 10 pm and kept my eyes closed. I felt as if I was still into the book with just only one thing running in my head - money. The book is about money. My parents were calling me for dinner but I was so much into the ideas of the book spreading within me that I was hardly bothering to respond to them. I finally had dinner and came in front of the 17 inch screen at 10:45 pm.

I don't feel like writing about when I woke up in the morning and when I reached the college. It makes me feel guilty as I wasted a lot of time and I know I am going to do almost a similar things tomorrow. I spent almost the whole day with my friends. There was a class in the morning which I missed; I reached the college when it was getting over.

In the evening, around 5 pm I accompanied my friends to Taj Banjaara where they were booking the place for farewell party. The name of the hall booked is 'Anjuman' and the date decided is the 5th of April. And as I have already said, I am away from everything.

My friends have been asking me about it. Today I told my parents that it can be possible that any of my friends would call them to ask why I am keeping away from it, and I asked them to tell that they have no idea about anything. They had the same question my friends were asking - "who do you want to skip the party?". They even said that I won't get such chances again in my life. I don't agree with them. There are bigger things I value.

It has been a quiet evening after I reached home; just had some talks with m parents about the farewell and I stay with myself. I had been thinking about my friend who tried to convince me to come to the party. I felt bad I had to stick to my word. I can't explain how I feel every time I am tell a 'no'.

Heavy in my heart

I had quantitative analysis at CL today and we studied Permutations. It was a bit tough and cumbersome. I even got the next packet of preparation books. The tension is beginning to build up with November nearing. This might seem ludicrous for any person who is not writing CAT! Time is moving fast and it is faster especially at times when things begin to appear threatening.

I just now set the washing machine for 'spin'. I had my clothes long back but totally lost the track of what was going on in the house after having dinner at 10:15 pm. My brother reminded me that I had to finish the washing thing. The machine is showing some problem when ever it is set for all the tree functions at once - wash, rinse and spin. I am doing the last one separately.

In the evening I had been to my grandmother's house. Last Sunday I took mu uncle's CR writer and I had to return it. I spent more than 2 hours there and felt the sorrow left by my grandfather's death. It is more than two months now but whenever I go there I still get a feeling that he is still in the house, in his room. We have not yet cleared his things - we didn't get the will to do it. But it hurts more when I see his bed and his table with all his medicines and books arranged they way he used to keep it. A layer of dust shows that he hasn't touched them for two months now.

I remember reading a quote. I read it long back, but recollected it just yesterday. "In three words I can sum up everything I have learnt about life. It goes on." Maybe I have moved on in my life, but past is always recorded in our brains and we can seldom erase it. I miss my grandfather. He was one of the dearest people in my life. I will miss him till I die.

We see some things and we perceive that it has no light at the end of the tunnel. I have seen a few myself but every time this happened, light came in from somewhere. Perhaps that quote means more than what really it makes apparent to me. Greatness of Allah is beyond any measure.

I had 'nahari' in the dinner. There was some chicken too to make the dinner perfect. I didn't eat much even when there was so much offered. I don't have an answer why I didn't. Something seems to hurt me and the problem is that I don't know what it exactly is. Calling myself a fool can't be a good thing to do now. It can make more sense if there was nothing like love.

I have been giving myself some extra doses of Hindi songs. I have lost many English ones to the crash of my computer's operating system and now, the only numbers I could assemble on the drive till now are the ones given to me by one of my friends and a couple of CDs I had made long back. Songs from DDLJ and some remixes are finding me enthralled!

My word

I reached home at 8:45 pm today. I had been to college with not very clear reasons. I had some work in the lab with OOSD. I spent some time in the library and some of it in the canteen. I reached my grandmother's house at 2:40 pm, had lunch, and slept for an hour.

Sometime back I returned from a walk with my father. I asked him if we could go out, he agreed, and we did. We had tea at a near by hotel and he smoked a cigarette. I thought of telling a few things but refrained from them. I was lacking courage. But I did talk about something that helped me know what he thinks about the thing I wanted to talk on. I understand I am being idiosyncratic saying all this as it must not be making any sense, but it is just what I mean to write here.

Yesterday in the evening I took a ride on my father's new two-wheeler. It was simple and I could handle the vehicle with no much trouble. I just need to have a little idea about the application of brake. Or I should say, I need to let myself know that this vehicle has two brakes unlike a car, and the one I must be frequently using is the one near my right foot and not the right hand.