Flowers Have No Tomorrow

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.  

- Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly

When I left my home 34 days back I had in my mind that I was going to suffer after I reached America and that it was going to be tough for me. I wanted to keep myself prepared for the worst. I thought I would cry and that I would regret the decision I made back in November 2007 of going to America for pursuing Masters. I always kept asking Allah to make things easy for me. What I didn't know that Allah was going to make me the most happiest Muslim on Earth. I couldn't have imagined how easy Allah would be making my life once I was here. Now I wonder how much I will have to thank Allah for making me the most blessed. Of course I can never thank him enough I do try to make some attempts. Every single word of truth I utter I know it's Allah who would bless me and guide me onto the right path.

I live in an apartment which is a little more than a mile from The University of Texas at Dallas. We are five room-mates - each of us has left a job in India to catch up with further studies. We left an easy life back home. I somehow feel I came here for an easier life. I don't miss Indian food like many students living here do, I don't mind walking a kilometer to buy a pack of bread, I don't mind washing utensils, cooking my own food, washing my own clothes and I don't mind taking garbage packets to the can nearby. I only miss my parents, my brother, my friends and my relatives. But it's alright. I am still satisfied alhamdulillah. I couldn't have thought of anything better.

One of my room-mates is from Jammu and is married. He was a scientist in Indian Space Research Organization. He is now doing his Masters in Electrical Engineering. The second guy is from Vadodra. He could have joined TCS but he came here to do his Masters in Electrical Engineering too. The third guy is from Hyderabad. He graduated from JNTU a couple of years back and had a good job. He came here to do his Masters in Geospatial Information Systems. The fourth guy is from Hyderabad too. He didn't mind leaving a job in Wipro behind to do MS here in Computer Sciences. He is my classmate in one of the three courses in this semester. I, Syed Zubair Hasan, didn't go to Mysore to join Infosys with a few of my dearest friends on July 14th, 2008 and instead came to Dallas on August 13th to do Masters in Software Engineering. Alhamdulillah. I am the fifth guy in the apartment numbered 405 in Chatham Court in McCallum Boulevard. That's in Dallas but my university is in Richardson. Takes 5 minutes to reach from this place.

I thought Hurricane Ike would be a bother. It rained all day on Saturday when we were expecting high velocity winds and even tornadoes. But there was only rain. The next day, Sunday, it was back to sunshine. Today the weather was more than just pleasant. Late in the evening when I was returning home after Iftaar around 9 pm it was cold. I liked spending time with my other friends shivering! I had a half-sleeved T-Shirt on and it felt like home - thousands of miles away from the home I lived for 21 years.

I get a feeling that I have been living here for a long time. I experience new things and the next time that new thing happens it's already old. Alhamdulillah I am adjusting faster than I thought I would. At times I find it a little difficult understanding the Texan accent - it's a lot different than what I used to listen to in Hollywood movies. But alhamdulillah it's alright. Whenever I don't understand anything, I just say "excuse me" and the person repeats his previous words. People here are polite. But my cousins and my father's friend who live here warn me and tell me that I must not trust these people much.

I lost my habit of writing regularly. I wanted to write a poem too but I wonder how I am not able to. I have so many things to tell; so much I have learnt and observed. It's like it has been ages since I wrote anything amusing. I write mails to my parents, brother and friends almost every other day and it keeps me satisfied. Thanks to my father's friend who lives in Bedford, a suburb of Dallas, I got a cell phone. And thanks to my mamma I bought a laptop too. It has 3 Gb of RAM, 250 Gb of hard-drive space, a graphics card of 512 Mb memory from ATI Radeon and regular features like DVD writer with litescribe, integrated webcam and a remote control.

When I went to purchase this computer I was hardly any excited. I knew I needed it for a reason - studies. I just wanted one immediately - I liked this, it was from HP and I bought it for $703. Alhamdulillah. Later after I reached home I realized how Allah has made me make the right choice. Right from the metallic keys to clarity of the screen - I fell in love with everything. Alhamdulillah. InshAllah I will use it in the best way possible. There is a long road ahead of me. It's smooth if I keep my sight on my objectives. I would find difficulties if I deviate. Of course Allah will decide how things eventually, and even now, would be. My job is to leave everything to Him and try to do the right things right. SubhanAllah.