Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.It gives excitement to do unorthodox things. Saturday, after I reached home around 9:15 pm, with my parents and brother, I went to a bakery near my house to buy burgers. Then we sat in the car at a quite place by the side of a road on our way to Softy Den to have these burgers. After having ice cream we went to my aunt's house nearby. My father hurt his shin while kicking start his two-wheeler last week and he wanted to consult my cousin. My cousin had an off so was at home like as it was last Sunday. I was tired when I finally reached home.
- Jennifer James
That was the second ice cream of the day for me. Earlier in the day I had met my friends at City Center, had lunch at Bowl - O - China and spent some time at Eat Street where I had my first cone of the day. A few minutes after I reached home from Eat Street a friend picked me up and we went to see off a friend who was leaving for Bangalore. He missed his bus at the starting point and boarded it finally at the stop at Lakdikapul. Just a day before that I had met him thinking that it was possibly the last time for the time-being. It just wasn't the case and we met again on Saturday.
On Sunday I finally woke up at 2 pm hearing my phone ring for the second time. An hour later I was at Eat Street again with two friends. We were there for four hours - we had serious talks, we had some jokes and some discussions. There were no pointless talks for those four hours. By the time I reached home it was 7:40 pm and I started for my aunt's house in Malakpet. It was my uncle's birthday and also some of my distant relatives from Warangal were here on a visit so we had a get-together. I was inexplicably tired and feeling sleepy but I had to drive back home. I was so happy to see no heavy traffic - the last time I had passed by that road in the night it was full of trucks.
Monday morning I met a friend at Masab Tank. Then we went to Apple iStore and Music World before reaching college - he had to buy the VCD of the movie 'Nikah' at Music World. 'Nikah' is the only movie till now we couldn't find on the Internet to download. After spending hardly 30 minutes in the college we went to Sarvi and returned college an hour later. After college it was Jagdish market and then finally back home. He dropped me and left to report at his office. His timings these days are 5 pm to 2 am.
My post till now has been full of facts. It's nice to have such facts to write to please myself knowing that I did something in the last few days. Apart from going to my grandmother's house for sometime there isn't anything I did today. Also I walked almost 5 milometers. And I have no idea what I am going to do tomorrow or the day after or in the days to come. My cousin is here from Kyrgyzstan so maybe I can go meet him. I can also meet a friend who only seems to give late replies to my messages on Facebook but never thinks of coming to my house. And of course I also have to meet a friend who got his F1 visa a few days back. But I might not be doing these tomorrow. A friend had called me today and I will call him back in the morning and ask him to come to my house. There are very, very little chances that he would come.
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