Wednesday, June 7, 2006

The logic of all my dreams

Dreams are of 2 kinds - the ones that are seen when we are asleep and the ones seen consciously i.e., when we are awake. Thinking about the dreams we see while asleep is foolishness. Not thinking about the dreams we see when we are awake is a bigger foolishness. The logic of my dreams is rationality. One of the reasons I try sleeping less is to avoid any dreams. Dreams hurt, even when they are good. Sweet dreams hurt the most - they can never be true - they are sweet - they are silly - they make us feel sweet - they deceive us.

To be precise with my day, it had nothing in it. I could have finished off The Fountainhead today, but I didn't. I remember a few days back in this very place I had written that I will finish this novel in the next 4 days. I even said "I will do it". i din't. I failed. My own weak will. . . Today I woke up at 9:50 am. Slept for sumtine after noon. Spent a lot of time in front of the 17 inches. Every inch glaring at me in anger. I read a lot today. Got a few new ideas too.

Since a few days I am regularly praising my brother's mustache. He is growing and his mustache is getting thicker. I remember the day I had removed mine. I remember my brother had told me that he would never remove his. Now he is trying to turn away from his words. I have hidden both the electric trimmers and he is searching for them for the past one week. Dad said he will organize a party and remove his mustache on that day. I am getting excited and my brother irritated. I had removed mine on December 24th 2002. It was my cusin sister's engagement function and I wanted everybody to know about my new look. Nobody laughed at me except my brother. He is the only one who gives me least respect. I enjoy being that way. I want someone to let me know regularly that there are things called as disrespect and rudeness that I can face. Of course my brother is the only person who is with me at house on so many occasions when I am alone and he uses 'aap' for me. I address him the same way. Anyhting less than that is always a joke. Now a days I am avoiding those kind of jokes.

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