Aisle By Aisle

Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
- Pancho Villa (1877-1923), last words

There was probably a short circuit in the service wire causing a power failure in my house yesterday evening. It took almost an hour before the electricity department sent some men for repair. Things like these have happened before and all the repair used to be the department's responsibility and when these electricians told us that we will have to pay for the charred wire, it got me and my mother annoyed. I abruptly asked them to leave and also said that I would be complaining that to the Assistant Engineer who would take care of it. I could see the change of expressions on their face when they heard their head's name. There were also telling that they would repair it only the next day.

We called up the engineer and requested him. He responded well saying that the repair will be done immediately and that it is we who will have to pay for the cables. An official word always sounds assuring. The electricians returned at 10 pm and they were angry because they were probably rebuked by their officer. I purchased the required wire from a nearby shop and gave it to them. The were constantly showing disregards for the officers in their department as they were asked to work at such odd times. I kept listening to them. Then one of them said that this was their night shift going on which started just sometime back. That made my heart laugh out. It was not at all an odd hour of the day for them. They were in their correct shift and it was their job. There are other people for other times and this time of the day was their responsibility.

The power returned at 10:30 pm when we finally left to attend a wedding function. It was my father's friend's daughter's marriage. They also happen to be our family friends and even my other relatives were there. I had a satisfying time after having to deal with those people and spend some hours in darkness. We were also worried about the empty overhead water-tank that had to be filled when power came and also the meat filling up the freezer. No power for long duration could spoil it.

I have two parties to attend today, one tomorrow and another one the day after. Every time I go to a marriage function or a reception, the thing that irritates me the most is the way the bridegroom is forced to behave. Wearing garlands, standing at the stage, posing for the photographs, meeting people he has never known before and is never going to meet again, trying to be perfect because it is his wedding, and doing everything to make everybody call him smart and good looking. It doesn't end with him. The visitors visit only for the reason of having dinner and commenting on how the bridegroom looks. I wonder if these things are ever going to change. And I can never understand a man's affinity towards flowers - especially in wearing garlands. Flowers are for women - to describe them!

I have always seen good men getting married - they behave well with the people they meet when they are getting married, they look well mannered, shy, pleasing and sensible. They look like the best of all the men who could ever get married - apparently proving to the bride's family that they couldn't have made a better choice. And when they look and behave so good, I wonder where the not-so-good men go. Those men who were not good at studies, who were not good children to their parents, who used to tease girls and keep girlfriends, who had bad company and bad morals - don't these men get married? Or are they the same people who look and behave good when getting married?

Souvenir De Paris

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935)

Some times I wonder if I am fool to walk so much even when there are several comfortable means to commute. I walked more then three kilometers in the evening to reach home and I could have as well use the public transport services which have become quite good these days. And also gone are the days when the narrow road of Mehdipatnam used to be a bottle neck; it's simpler now. And it hardly takes 10 minutes to reach my house when I catch a bus from that place. Some times I don't do that.

It gives me a mystical pleasures to walk long stretches without being disturbed. I wouldn't mind if I have company; I just need peace. The noisy traffic and the so assumed deafening sounds of horns of the vehicles are of little effect on me. I forget them when I am with myself. I even forget the loss of energy and feelings of pain in my legs. When people can find peace in their lifetime of wars, why can't I then walking on the side of a busy street?

Yesterday my uncle gave me a small replica of Eiffel Tower. He had brought it from France several years back along with a three foot one which was lost in time. He also showed me a similar replica which was made of glass. It looked liked the most beautiful monument on earth. He has this craze about everything from France. I couldn't understand why but that passion remains with all my uncles and even my father - some genes have transferred to me too! My uncle who is a French national keeps asking us to visit him as though Paris is in the neighborhood. Someday I would definitely go there - for my uncle, Eiffel Tower and the Louvre.

I had plans for learning French starting from January but I don't think it's going to materialize. Perhaps I can make an attempt by myself trying from books but I am not sure if that can be possible or it will be a wild goose chase. After English, it is French and Spanish that are widely spoken in the west and I have always wished I could get along with at least one - French preferably. I am not keen on much with the United States and staying there for long if I get the F 1 visa; I know Europe is a better place and all it takes for an engineer to settle there is the knowledge of German or French.

My mother is not happy with my interests in other countries - she wants me to be with her. And for that reason she says I am callous - emotionally hardened; because I am going to leave her. My uncle says I should go there, study, enjoy and come back. And my mother agrees. Of course staying there in US for long is not my objective. Europe of course sounds better. India is good but we don't have islands for sale here! And I have never liked the life Indians have in gulf countries. Things boil down to parents, money and the island - no matter where I am, no matter what I study, and no matter what currency I deal with. There are good tilts towards friends too.

Commonplace

I have come to realise the bitter truth that I am racist, sexist, biased, arrogant, malicious, and egoistic!

- Poly-vicious Suroor

Even till yesterday night I was willing to go to the college today. In the morning I lay on my bed trying to decide if I should go or not. I had slept after 3:30 am and I didn't want to keep myself deprived of sleep. I had gone for a movie last night with friends and returned home around 1:15 am. It was the last show of the day at 'Prasad's' in it's 2nd screen showing 'I Am Legend'. I was expecting a horror movie as told to me by a friend. I rather found it analogous to a science fiction with some startling scenes. It is definitely not for the faint hearted but any person of my age should watch it once. It brought to my memory a movie starred by Tom Hanks - 'Cast Away'. 'I Am Legend' has a very small cast with Wills Smith taking 90% of the screen-time.

I was searching for valid reasons in the morning for going to the college. I counted the number of friends who would be coming. The number was definitely small but I would have gone for a single friend as well. Somehow that didn't please me; it didn't look logical to go to the college with only friends in mind. I slept and didn't think much after that. I am fresh now ready for the night! A holiday tomorrow sounds befuddling again but I have my ways to enjoy.

I spent a lot of time after Magrib reading several new blogs - blogs new to me. One blog lead to the other but I bookmarked only one from all those I read. Most of these were by people from South East Asia and they were all Muslims. I couldn't believe how extensively these people blog and how meticulously they are followed by the readers. Most of the posts have comments exceeding 25 with several tags and back-links. The topics have Islam in their center and concern with minute details of life. They give a disposition that the authors live to blog. And they write for an audience.

A technician from Sify came to check the computer today. The connection was up and working perfectly fine and I was in no mood to let him touch my computer. But he had to take care of an official formality of making some checks and taking my signature on a paper. It took him less than five minutes to finish the paper before I asked him why Sify doesn't let me run AVG. He had not clear answer but he said it is definitely a problem with many people. I also told him that my account never gets renewed by itself even when I make advanced payments. He said he would appraise it in his office.

I haven't had a complete meal since morning. There were some biscuits around 10 am before I was on the bed again. Then I had kheer in the afternoon and wada before Asar. Then it was ragda after Magrib. It was more of laziness than anything else that kept me taking only snacks. Perhaps this in the only reason for my leanness. I am thin but I find all energy I need to do what all I have to do. I never get into fights so I don't need any muscles either. My primary use of carbohydrates is thinking, sometimes walking, and usually talking!

No Predicament Can Stand Itself

When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?
- Frank Costelly, The Departed

I had a brief tryst with cricket today after a long time. It was my brother who offered the game and even my uncle was ready. We played inside the compound but all three of us were hitting the ball hard before finally my uncle raised it above a high wall throwing the ball beyond reach. We tried to get it back but couldn't. The bounce and spin of the ball was good making the short time enjoyable. I have no idea when I am going to play next.

I was offered a movie by a friend and unfortunately I had to decline. I was already at my grandmother's house making me tell him that it would be possible for me if any friend who lives in this side of the city was going so that he could pick me up. This, of course wasn't possible at 3 pm. Maybe the plan will be carried till tomorrow. It always feels nice to have plans for the next day. It gives a good night's sleep and a fresh morning. I had none for day and I didn't know when to wake up - at least till 12 noon.

Yesterday my dinner was at a paternal uncle's house. Today he came to meet us and shared the dining table. We had nehari and paya, a curry made of liver and kidneys, a curry made of meat and lungs, maheykhalya, bagaara khaana, roti, kheer and sevi k meetha. I ate as much as I could and I am still not done with the deserts. Not to forget the chocolate in the refrigerator. I am sure I will find more things if I open the it. Mother had even mentioned about fried meat. We call it Ied! The guava on the table beside me tempts my buds creating contempt inside my heart for the cold I always develop after having it.

A person from Sify called me up asking if I was home so that he could come and check my computer. I first had to make myself realize that he was talking English. Then was the herculean task of understanding his Telugu ascent. I got only what was necessary and I asked him to come on Sunday. I hope that was it with the necessary parts. If there was more, I am sure he won't come tomorrow. Sify should spend some time with their employees to neutralize their ascents. So does the Data Warehouse and Mining lecturer at my college. I had mailed Sify to inform them about the nonsensical behavior of my Internet connection.

It's 12:46 am Sunday now and more than an hour since i started writing this post. Just when I was going to start the fifth paragraph I clicked on the spell-check which didn't yield any results. I tried several times before running ping to check the connection. It was fine. I logged out of my account and tried to relogin. It said my account has expired. This immediately reminded me of the call I received in the morning from Sify asking me if I wanted the connection to be renewed. I said replied in positive. This is after five months that I am having such problem. Even corporates don't seem to understand what service means. The local providers never understand that. Sify of course is not an MNC and no doubt why Satyam is running at losses for last two quarters. Sify happens to be a subsidiary of Satyam.

An Archipelago Of Frustration Surrounded By Bliss

The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts.
- from Life's Little Instruction Book

By the end of World War II, there were a very few number of billionaires in the United States. The top nine have an interesting story. 25 years after the war ended, three of them had committed suicide, three of them were in mental-rehabilitation and three of them had gone bankrupt. And the reason was simple - though they knew the present perfectly well, they had no vision for the future. They didn't plan.

I am not going to write anything about vision or planning here for today, it just flashed into my mind reminding me of some book I had read long back. I wish I had even remembered those nine names with exactly what happened with them. Those people couldn't see how the world was going to change. Others saw it, imagined it, and even shaped it. I was even wondering about the lotteries in the United States that involve millions of Dollars. Statistics show that 90% of winners of those lotteries are left with nothing after 10 years. There are more things to be learnt rather than calling them merely as interesting.

Alhamdulillah the day passed by with all happiness today. I found some problem with getting the paya and sira cleaned and cut. I saw some difficulty while performing the zuba on the sheep: the hair near their throat was thick and knife blunt. I had to give more number of strokes than recommended. Fountains of blood colored my shirt red when the throat was finally slit open. In the evening I had to drive the car even when I was in no mood to concentrate. I wanted to sleep. But it came as a compulsion to meet my relatives. It was nice that my heart was finally alleviated. The day was still good and satisfying.

My mother is on a leave Saturday and Monday. She will have to get back to work again on Wednesday with Tuesday being a public holiday. It would really be nice having her around and spending time with her especially when the day finds her in good moods and a relaxed mind. I have always liked seeing her read the news paper when I wake up in the mornings. For a few days she had hardly found any time for herself. She worked real hard today.

"Atlas Shrugged" has picked up finally. I was barely able to read all these days and any time I found with the books was with the ones with only words to be learnt. I read for some time today. I have a book to be finished and returned to my uncle; two-thirds of it is still left. I have always liked reading Ayn Rand's philosophy; be it from her novels or the newsletters I receive from the website of the publishers of her books. I have read some parts of her books like "Virtue Of Selfishness" and "For The New Intellect". I have liked them all. "Atlas Shrugged" is truly a fest gifted to me by my friends.

Find A Person More Blessed Than Me

If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.
-E. M. Forster

In the morning around 4:30 am on Monday we started with a "question-answer" session. Each of us sat on a chair separately taking turns and the others were asking questions on whatever they wanted to know about that person "under question". I was made the first goat. I had gone downstairs to see off a friend and when I returned I was immediately asked to sit on that chair. I expected some critical questions on some sensitive contexts. Allah bless my friends, they didn't ask me anything careless.

The first question asked was if I would practice "tissue is not an issue". I said yes with a chuckle. I was also asked why I always sport formal clothing. The most intricate question was the one where I was asked why I don't like girls who wear western dresses. What followed was a discussion. Right from culture to moral ethics - I had to mention them all. I went about explaining why they wear those clothes and I had my basic reasoning. The last reason I gave satisfied my friend who asked me that question. And everybody else agreed. We all were 8 people at that time present on my house's terrace. This was our second all-night get-together in the month.

Not going much into cultural aspects, we always prefer wearing clothes we are comfortable in and what Islam accepts. Islam clearly states that we are prohibited from cross-dressing - men are not allowed to wear what women wear and women are not allowed to wear what men wear. For a person of faith, this answer should be enough. But we are the younger generation and we believe in logic and reasoning - sometimes faith enough is not alone. One will have to give explanations to the seemingly inherent likes of the new blood. And of course, Islam is the only rational religion one can ever follow.

We all like to try out every possible thing on the face of this planet - we like tasting different cuisines, we like to visit new places, some like meeting new people, and similarly some like wearing different clothes on various styles. We like trying out how it feels to wear something new; something different. The idea is not to be nonconformists. It's just about liking change and discovering new styles. This need not necessarily be amiss. For women, the clothing should compulsorily cover them from head to ankles revealing only the face and hands from wrists, the clothing should be opaque enough. It should also be loose not revealing any figure. The head should be covered by a cloth in a way such that hair are not visible and the cloth covers the neck completely and falls on the bosom.

I never came across a single verse in the Holy Quran or the Sahih Hadees that a burqa is compulsory or the face must be covered showing only the eyes. Hijaab is compulsory and it includes the details I have mentioned above. How the women sport this Hijaab is upto them. They are free to choose any culture or any form of dressing as long as they confirm with the criteria. If somebody believes that Shalwaar-Kameez is the only correct dress for women, they should remember that this dress has nothing to do with Islam and it has its origins in the Sindh region. If a person is reading my blog, it would also mean that she has access to almost all of the Internet - she is free to check what all I have written here. If I am wrong, I can always be corrected.

I have a strong hatred towards girls who wear tight clothes. Maybe they wear such attires occasionally just to have something different or try out something new - I have mentioned above. But they don't come in concord with the rules. And if it is not occasional for them, then I firmly believe that they wear it to attract or seduce men. This might sound astringent, but I see it as truth. I find no other reason why such clothes must be worn. And I have nothing against those who wear them. I just hate it.

I am not a conservative. I believe in reasoned and free thinking. But I have religion as my base. After my turn of being questioned was over, a friend said that later I should answer if there was something I would like to change in me. Though I was never asked for the answer, the only thing I would like to change in me is making myself a better Muslim. I find nothing else worth being altered - at least as far as I can think. Maybe there are things I am already working on realizing them as faults, but trying to become a better Muslim is my biggest priority with respect to changing myself.

There was a question asked to two of my friends - how much did they value their friends? They both had similar answers. They said that they cared a lot for friends but they would always put their parents first. This could have been a nightmarish question for me. It couldn't have answered it if asked. Today I gave a thought and I really couldn't understand how to explain what value I give to friends. It's not just about explaining it to others. I couldn't think of it myself. Friends mean so much to me - both boys and girls. My parents are more important but I can go against them if I find something correct in reference to my friends. Somehow I hope that I never find it necessary to choose between the two. I might definitely go for my parents but it would give me immense pain.

Today was my second day at the college. Yesterday after sleeping at 8 am in the morning and waking up after 11:15 am, I could reach the college only after 1 pm. Today I attended the classes. We have a schedule for only three days of the week and one of those days has just a lab. The rest of the days are for the project's work. I am afraid having so much unscheduled time would make me more lazy!

They Are Not My Songs

It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
- G. K. Chesterton

I was watching a movie a day for the last four days. The time was usually only after 11:30 pm and went on till 2:30 am with many interruptions made by chatting. I have many more lined up for viewing - "Just My Luck", "Julius Cesar", "City Of Angels", "Resident Evil Extinction" and "Underground Evolution" are a few of them. The next batch would get me all the three from the "Rambo" series. Among the ones I watched recently were two from the "Die Hard" series. And there shouldn't be any guessing about how many times I have watched "Troy".

Sometime back my father took us out for a walk. I don;t find Tolichowki a place to take a stroll but because he asked, I didn't want to miss the chance. A bakery on the way reminded my father of burgers. We had standing there and all of it was unexpected. I still have to eat my dinner and nobody looks interested in it. It's already 10:45 pm. I am hungry but I don't feel like eating anything.

Yesterday night when I went to sleep I had an unexplainable feeling of fear in my heart. I couldn't understand why it was there. As I lay on my bed I began to think of all the possibilities - I thought about my parents, my friends, studies, even blogs, about the Saturday I was going to see with the new sun, about Sunday's test, the party I have planned for the evening that day - nothing seemed like a probably reason for fear I should be having. I hoped I understood what it was so that I could take some action. I am sure it was already 4 am. I kept staring at the ceiling for long before waking up to the morning. I was fine then.

My mother called my short-length shirt as a choli. My brother reminded my father that I had once called him a senior citizen. My mother told me that I have become callous and am I no more soft like I used to be when I was a kid. My father told me how once when I was a kid I saw a dead cockroach and had asked him how it had died. My father had said that it must have become too old. It seems I asked him if even we are going to get old someday and die like that cockroach. He was just reminding me that things like those used to effect me. My mother told my aunt today that I am not interested in staying with them after my engineering and I want to leave home. Then she told my father that once I go to US, I would marry a girl there. She said I would just bring that girl to them someday and inform them that she was their daughter-in-law. I listened to all this and said nothing.

It's 11:02 pm now and I am being called for dinner. The television is on making my aversion towards it hard to beat. I have to now sit in that room with my parents and forcefully listen to it. I have been doing it all these days and there are so many adverts I can recognise only by the music in it. There are some serials I hate even listening to. But because I have to dine with my parents, I need to do it. It was a good day today and I will do it without complaining.