Priorities invariably play a very imperative role in a person's life. If something bothers me would only let me know that it makes a difference to me and it is verily there on the ladder of priorities. It is a ladder because with time, people and maturity - inanity including - those 'priorities' keep moving up and down. The problem starts the day any one or more of them get stuck at on of the steps of that ladder. I refer to the things that refuse to change but should change. On top of the ladder one is supposed to have religion and parents so the top never attempts to differ. The rung just below that is the critical place that can make or break.
When my priorities cause to break me, it perhaps means that I couldn't be the kind of person I wanted to be and I need to revisit the moral codes of conduct I was attempting to follow. I don't say I have anything concrete decided but my mind-set guides me to some logics and they can be erroneous. It makes me poignant. The whole of me. That amounts to self-destruction. There is no excitement in self-destruction.
Before dinner I spent almost 30 minutes on the terrace again. The was only the moon to be seen. I don't remember the presence of any diamonds in the sky that sometimes make me feel offended when they twinkle. It looks as though they are smiling with some unknown mischief and mocking at me. I didn't feel that today and so, I am sure there were no stars in the sky.
When I was walking up the stairs my mother asked why I wanted to go there in dark. I said "simply". My brother asked if he could accompany. When I asked him a why, he said "because it is dark up there". I said it doesn't matter. Yes how can darkness matter when the 40 watt fluorescent tube was pinching my eyes. 20 minutes after my stay upstairs, my mother called me again. She had a kind of tone one would have when he or she is asking happily a beloved person to stop doing something that makes him very serious for that moment and he is not supposed to be that way. Though I didn't see her face when she called for me, I am sure she had a smile then.
I asked her why she was calling me. Instead of answering to me, she told my father what I was asking. Sometime later my brother called me for dinner and I heeded. And responded in a few minutes. I finished the dinner with my parents. My mother asked me why I ate so less. I ate enough. Usually I don't eat so fast, this time I did. And I was asked for eating less.
I thought somebody would come online and I would chat. I found nobody. I am sure all my friends are studying for the exams. The first of these externals is the toughest one for me. It is all Allah's will. I wanted somebody to talk to. Nothing particular in ideas. Just about something to make myself feel that I am not lonely. I asked my father if we could go for a stroll outside. He agreed. Then I said we will drop the plan. I had no plans to tell him anything in particular. I just wanted somebody to be by my side. And walk with me.
I can't bear to be fooled by a person who might be on that priority ladder. It would hurt me. Hurt my ego; hurt my heart. Heart my soul. It would hurt even more because I don't feel like weeping. It feels as if everything is over and it is only me that is left. Sometimes not even the memories. Not that I had many. And not that I know that I have been fooled. But it matters and I don't know why. And I don't see if the knowledge too could make any difference.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Teach me wrong from right...
Today I waited to see the sun set. I went to the house's terrace around 6:30 pm and my eyes incidentally fell on the orange sun rays streaking out of some clouds and moving up into the sky. The sun was nowhere to be seen with clouds hiding it completely. When I had a look at it from the other side of the terrace where the number of concrete structures was a little less, I found the orange ball glowing from behind the clouds.
I started staring at it and it was clearly apparent that the huge ball was moving down. Slowly it came to a point there were no clouds to obstruct the complete profile and I could also see a big dot and a line on the orange surface. I thought it was something the earth that was coming in between. It was something on the sun itself. As the time kept ticking the visibility was decreasing as the structures around my house were hostile to my view. I had to climb onto the top of the over-head tank. I saw the sun for a few more minutes. I even stretched myself standing just on my feet to keep it in my eyes. The earth moves and so the sun has to set. Life moves on.
I got down and went inside the house. People say we don't have time to reflect and the time to look at beautiful things of the nature like the sun setting. People keep saying such thing only because hearing them sounds good. It says that we don't have time, and that we are busy. We are never so busy. It is just an excuse. We don't need a beach or a smooth horizon to see the sunset.
I have always wanted to live by some set of fixed rules. I do have my religion but I thought having something designed by myself based on my religion would make me follow them better. Once I even started writing them down, but something stopped. I don't member what it was but it was powerful. I thought it could embarrassing too. Once I even thought of writing all my dreams and goals on some paper. I was supposed tow rite it down and read it every day twice. It is a technique proven to be effective. Unfortunately I didn't do it - bad on my part.
I once wrote about me being mentally invulnerable. The article still stands on one of my other blogs. It was a kind of exaggeration but it was supposed to boost my morale. I read it quiet a few times after I wrote it and it did meet its purpose. Then I stopped reading it.
A couple of days I sat to read my old posts on this blog. At several instances I wondered if I was the very person who had written all those things. It was sometimes quiet unbelievable to see that I could ever be so emotional and sometimes maudlin too. Things were naive at many places. The naivete was a necessity. It helps grow. It heps develop sophistication. It thats what I need presently!
From tomorrow my mother would be going to Nalgonda district for 3 continuous days. Two weeks back she had to discontinue her trip there as her head-office got a new MD and he was asking for some meetings. Presently my mother is handling two sections in her office one of them being the long term loans section. I don't know about the other one. She has prepared some curried already and had stored them in the freezer. These will relieve her of some cooking for at least two days.
In last few days I have lost a lot of material from my computer. A lot of that was deleted on purpose too. I lost a good amount of written material when I had to format my hard-drive. Yesterday I made many deletions to the files and blogs existing on google's servers. I deleted two blogs and some mails with attachments. I have lost a very important file. I still have to search for it and see if is there in my Inbox. I am sure that one of my friends has it.
I spent some good time on searching a good picture for my profile on blogger. I made the search through google images. I searched for "gold", "gold coins", "crystals", and many more things. I narrowed down to the one that exists on the right side on this blog. I found nothing much in it except that it has the Mercedes symbol and that I found it under the search for diamonds and crystals. For me, the key-chain represents nothing but the search! I had to put something and I chose this. It has no much logic in it.
I had been wanting to create a back up for all my blogs. May be someday I might feel like removing them all from the internet. I don't have service pack 2 on my computer and it is necessary so that I can install Office 2007 on my computer. I have the original CD for SP 2 but I don;t have a CD ROM! I have no ideas to buy one. I don't find real necessity. Pen drives make up for most of the transfer media. And they are fast and good.
My sleep in the night was terrible. The first one hour after I went to bed around 2:30 am was the worst. I think I even woke up shouting something once. My father was awake then and he heard it. I didn't ask him what I shouted. I was getting some vague dreams I remember and I know what they were about. I am not going fine.
I started staring at it and it was clearly apparent that the huge ball was moving down. Slowly it came to a point there were no clouds to obstruct the complete profile and I could also see a big dot and a line on the orange surface. I thought it was something the earth that was coming in between. It was something on the sun itself. As the time kept ticking the visibility was decreasing as the structures around my house were hostile to my view. I had to climb onto the top of the over-head tank. I saw the sun for a few more minutes. I even stretched myself standing just on my feet to keep it in my eyes. The earth moves and so the sun has to set. Life moves on.
I got down and went inside the house. People say we don't have time to reflect and the time to look at beautiful things of the nature like the sun setting. People keep saying such thing only because hearing them sounds good. It says that we don't have time, and that we are busy. We are never so busy. It is just an excuse. We don't need a beach or a smooth horizon to see the sunset.
I have always wanted to live by some set of fixed rules. I do have my religion but I thought having something designed by myself based on my religion would make me follow them better. Once I even started writing them down, but something stopped. I don't member what it was but it was powerful. I thought it could embarrassing too. Once I even thought of writing all my dreams and goals on some paper. I was supposed tow rite it down and read it every day twice. It is a technique proven to be effective. Unfortunately I didn't do it - bad on my part.
I once wrote about me being mentally invulnerable. The article still stands on one of my other blogs. It was a kind of exaggeration but it was supposed to boost my morale. I read it quiet a few times after I wrote it and it did meet its purpose. Then I stopped reading it.
A couple of days I sat to read my old posts on this blog. At several instances I wondered if I was the very person who had written all those things. It was sometimes quiet unbelievable to see that I could ever be so emotional and sometimes maudlin too. Things were naive at many places. The naivete was a necessity. It helps grow. It heps develop sophistication. It thats what I need presently!
From tomorrow my mother would be going to Nalgonda district for 3 continuous days. Two weeks back she had to discontinue her trip there as her head-office got a new MD and he was asking for some meetings. Presently my mother is handling two sections in her office one of them being the long term loans section. I don't know about the other one. She has prepared some curried already and had stored them in the freezer. These will relieve her of some cooking for at least two days.
In last few days I have lost a lot of material from my computer. A lot of that was deleted on purpose too. I lost a good amount of written material when I had to format my hard-drive. Yesterday I made many deletions to the files and blogs existing on google's servers. I deleted two blogs and some mails with attachments. I have lost a very important file. I still have to search for it and see if is there in my Inbox. I am sure that one of my friends has it.
I spent some good time on searching a good picture for my profile on blogger. I made the search through google images. I searched for "gold", "gold coins", "crystals", and many more things. I narrowed down to the one that exists on the right side on this blog. I found nothing much in it except that it has the Mercedes symbol and that I found it under the search for diamonds and crystals. For me, the key-chain represents nothing but the search! I had to put something and I chose this. It has no much logic in it.
I had been wanting to create a back up for all my blogs. May be someday I might feel like removing them all from the internet. I don't have service pack 2 on my computer and it is necessary so that I can install Office 2007 on my computer. I have the original CD for SP 2 but I don;t have a CD ROM! I have no ideas to buy one. I don't find real necessity. Pen drives make up for most of the transfer media. And they are fast and good.
My sleep in the night was terrible. The first one hour after I went to bed around 2:30 am was the worst. I think I even woke up shouting something once. My father was awake then and he heard it. I didn't ask him what I shouted. I was getting some vague dreams I remember and I know what they were about. I am not going fine.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Destruction is exciting
I thought I was not going to write for today. It is already 2:13 am and some hours back I was thinking of hitting the bed early. I didn't do anything much all this time but what I did was important - something I must have done a long time back. A search on google.com with my full name was supposed to give my blogs' links in the first 10 returns - it did till now. When google's web crawler comes across this the next time, it will make some changes to the indexing on my blogs.
I went to the college, met my friends, tried to study a little, spoke a lot and returned home at 9:45 pm. I had been to my grandmother's house too and also a friend's house at 9 pm. The only productive thing that happened with me today was that I got some notes photocopied. In fact two of my friends did it for me.
I thought some people are more intelligent than me. Now I don't understand if my thinking was at fault or my perception of that people has changed. I like being associated with those who have better brains than me - I always liked that. It won't change.
I went to the college, met my friends, tried to study a little, spoke a lot and returned home at 9:45 pm. I had been to my grandmother's house too and also a friend's house at 9 pm. The only productive thing that happened with me today was that I got some notes photocopied. In fact two of my friends did it for me.
I thought some people are more intelligent than me. Now I don't understand if my thinking was at fault or my perception of that people has changed. I like being associated with those who have better brains than me - I always liked that. It won't change.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Allah knows it all ... He knows me; more than what I know about myself
Today I started watching Mission Impossible. I started. I see movies at home in parts! It will take another two sitting before I can say I have finished watching it. Hilarious! I know.
Tomorrow I might be going to the college. The reason would be that some of my friends are coming and I felt a bit 'not-so-good' staying at home today. I know this is hilarious again!
There are many more hilarious things happening around. Some are supposed to be very serious. I hardly thought about them today but did talk about them to some of my friends. It was necessary. I won't give reasons like I am very much human. That again would become hilarious.
There was nothing significant that happened today. Perhaps this was one of the most trivial days in the last ten. And there is nothing hilarious in it.
My hands and fingers simply went to the mouse and the keyboard to get me to the edit page of my blog in blogger.com else I wouldn't have written anything today. I am very much my own self and there is nothing wrong in me. I thought I would be writing something big today but as it appears, it was limited to the thinking. My hands and fingers didn't resemble my thinking. It happens. Many times.
Tomorrow I might be going to the college. The reason would be that some of my friends are coming and I felt a bit 'not-so-good' staying at home today. I know this is hilarious again!
There are many more hilarious things happening around. Some are supposed to be very serious. I hardly thought about them today but did talk about them to some of my friends. It was necessary. I won't give reasons like I am very much human. That again would become hilarious.
There was nothing significant that happened today. Perhaps this was one of the most trivial days in the last ten. And there is nothing hilarious in it.
My hands and fingers simply went to the mouse and the keyboard to get me to the edit page of my blog in blogger.com else I wouldn't have written anything today. I am very much my own self and there is nothing wrong in me. I thought I would be writing something big today but as it appears, it was limited to the thinking. My hands and fingers didn't resemble my thinking. It happens. Many times.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Read: My blog is my character ... almost
Many times when a person goes for a job interview he is asked to talk about himself. I was wondering how a person can talk about himself without telling good - things in his favor. If he goes on to tell the bitter things in him then he would hold no chance of getting the job. And we all know that it is considered insane to talk good things about ones own self. I couldn't get the point how a person can be given a job on what he tells about himself.
There was something more interesting I was pondering upon. I see many people getting married - I see some marriages closely when they are of my cousins or close relatives. I often find that the guy selected (if it happens t be a cousin sister's marriage) is judged chiefly based on what all the parents come to know about him through others. Character of that person is said to be the most important thing. And it is also an essential matter to have a clear idea of that person's financial position - obviously because money is what everybody needs and many love.
To the best of my abilities to think, I don't think that a person's character can be judged merely asking a few people who know him. But the only thing that can be judged is something which is more apparent - money. Status can be flaunted in many ways. I am not aware of a single method to flaunt good character. Especially when somebody is in this scenario.
I have even seen some absurd judging done in colleges by lecturers. Now in no way am I writing that something unfair has happened with me in th recent past or the present. I have a different objective here might never be accomplished! Some lecturers see a student, look at the face, maybe even consider the marks, and decide the character of the student. I can list easily list out several people who score less than average but are better people than many others. I also know people who score a lot but ... I must not write much about them. Else, someday, somebody might question my character.
I have always tried to make my blogs a mirror of mine. And so, I wrote as much as I could. And more precisely, as honest as possibly. And for that reason I have been questioned too and even ended up being hated sometimes. Today I told a friend sorry for something I wrote about him some months back. In fact it was a complete post blasting at him.
My blogs give my character. I have always believed in being a person with an ice berg kind of outlook - ten percent visible to everybody and the rest hidden beneath the water but still accessible to anyone who wills to get closer - friendlier. But today as I write all this, I know I have crossed many lines. Perhaps I have only ten percent hidden and the rest open. Open, unshielded, unprotected from any possible threats and heat. I do sweat because of that heat quiet often now. But I am glad I have integrity on my side. I am not fooling anybody. I am not fooling myself.
I have written many times how I was a fool, how I didn't think before doing so and so things, I have mentioned that I am a lazy person, I have also stated how I can justify my inabilities. I have written as many bad things I could about myself. All with the purpose of becoming a transparent person. I have well been told sometimes that I wrote a little too much and ironically I have felt good about it.
I have always wanted to master the art of writing. I would never master it even till the time I die. But I have been putting some efforts and inshAllah I will continue doing so. Whenever I was hiding something in my words, I knew I was doing it. Whenever I was being tendentious, I knew I was. Even now when I write things that may or may not make sense, or may look completely irrelevant, I know I am doing it. That it my objective for today.
If someday some person reads my blog for the first time and complains to me that I write crap, then I would say "half of what I write is crap; but it is necessary so that the other half reaches you". If he says I am trying to flaunt some thing - some precise things, then I would surely ask "are you reading my blog for the first time? I have been doing it since the day I started writing. I had only one premise."
Every post I write, has in some way or the other, 'this' premise I talk about. I know I am not literally talking about it. But those who know me know what is inferred. Yes this thing - those who know me - it makes a whole world of difference. Those who don't know, can surely think me as a bad person. I remember a person calling me mysterious not once but several times. We are great friends now - nobody can believe how great.
I know my behavior is not like that of others. Especially the way I always prefer keeping my head down while walking in the open, giving as much respect as possible to people when I talk even if they are the closest friends of mine (the way I use 'aap' for everybody irrespective of the relationship and age difference), the way I dress always. I know one or more of these thing can make me appear like mysterious. I don't see how my character can be questioned. Now, in no way am I saying that somebody has done it. I have a premonition and I want to ward it away even before it knocks me out.
My brother who is a lot more than four years younger to me knows how we both brothers are different from others in the way we treat each other. On several occasions he has termed me as strange and I liked it. I liked it because I do treat my brother quiet differently than others treating their siblings.
My parents, especially my father, is more often like a friend to me. I have shared almost everything about me with him. I couldn't let him know the premise. I have that guilt always that I have to hide this from him and my mother. I can't explain how much I tell them about me. I can't describe how close I am to them yet how that premise effects things.
Some days back one of my friends was staring at some girls and appreciating them. I immediately started a debate about this - staring at girls with no reason. He, along with another friend, argued that it is normal for men to look at girls this way. I asked if I was not normal if I don't have the same belief. The answer I got from them was a 'yes'. To be frank, I liked when they said I am not normal - especially for this reason that I don't like looking at any girl except for when I have some valid reason and I hardly find valid reasons for this. I took being called 'not normal as a compliment.
For the first time in my blog - in all the blogs I have - I will mention something like this; I won't repeat it again: one of those friends was a girl and she too said that it was normal for guys to look or stare at girls. So, I did take it as a compliment. I can't simply imagine myself looking at a girl with no reason.
Now, one could say that I am praising myself here. Yes I am doing that. I started todays post with something mentioning about this. I am talking about myself. I am talking about what people have to tell about me. I am talking about these people who are good friends of mine. I break one of the rules I had for my blogs just to explain a point that I am not like the other guys. Yes, this might sound absurd here - me calling myself different from other guys. Again somebody might say I am praising myself. That person doesn't trust me.
The reason for what I did - wrote - the above was the premise again. That premise has made me start writing in blogs. It has changed my life. And if that premise tells that everything I write relates to it directly sometimes and sometimes indirectly, I will agree without a doubt or a question in my mind. Thats the premise. And if the premise says that my talking and writing about it defames it, then it is going to hurt me more than how many things could hurt because I remember that when that thing became my premise I fell from grace. I was humiliated. I lost all the image I had in front of some of my friends who were with me since my childhood. I lost a few friends because of this. I lost respect. I lost pride. My ego was hurt. I felt myself a looser. I cursed myself. It changed my life. But no matter what happens to me or what has happened with me or to me, I can never ever even think of hurting the premise in any way. I would kill myself than do that.
If that premise says that my blogs' existence can be bad for it's image, I will delete all of them - all my blogs with several hundred posts in them; all that had taken hours and hours to be built. If that premise says that my existence is a problem for it, then I am sorry to say I won't 'delete' myself. I know that I belong to Allah and that I have no right over the life he has blessed me with. I can think even when I can be mad. At least here.
There was something more interesting I was pondering upon. I see many people getting married - I see some marriages closely when they are of my cousins or close relatives. I often find that the guy selected (if it happens t be a cousin sister's marriage) is judged chiefly based on what all the parents come to know about him through others. Character of that person is said to be the most important thing. And it is also an essential matter to have a clear idea of that person's financial position - obviously because money is what everybody needs and many love.
To the best of my abilities to think, I don't think that a person's character can be judged merely asking a few people who know him. But the only thing that can be judged is something which is more apparent - money. Status can be flaunted in many ways. I am not aware of a single method to flaunt good character. Especially when somebody is in this scenario.
I have even seen some absurd judging done in colleges by lecturers. Now in no way am I writing that something unfair has happened with me in th recent past or the present. I have a different objective here might never be accomplished! Some lecturers see a student, look at the face, maybe even consider the marks, and decide the character of the student. I can list easily list out several people who score less than average but are better people than many others. I also know people who score a lot but ... I must not write much about them. Else, someday, somebody might question my character.
I have always tried to make my blogs a mirror of mine. And so, I wrote as much as I could. And more precisely, as honest as possibly. And for that reason I have been questioned too and even ended up being hated sometimes. Today I told a friend sorry for something I wrote about him some months back. In fact it was a complete post blasting at him.
My blogs give my character. I have always believed in being a person with an ice berg kind of outlook - ten percent visible to everybody and the rest hidden beneath the water but still accessible to anyone who wills to get closer - friendlier. But today as I write all this, I know I have crossed many lines. Perhaps I have only ten percent hidden and the rest open. Open, unshielded, unprotected from any possible threats and heat. I do sweat because of that heat quiet often now. But I am glad I have integrity on my side. I am not fooling anybody. I am not fooling myself.
I have written many times how I was a fool, how I didn't think before doing so and so things, I have mentioned that I am a lazy person, I have also stated how I can justify my inabilities. I have written as many bad things I could about myself. All with the purpose of becoming a transparent person. I have well been told sometimes that I wrote a little too much and ironically I have felt good about it.
I have always wanted to master the art of writing. I would never master it even till the time I die. But I have been putting some efforts and inshAllah I will continue doing so. Whenever I was hiding something in my words, I knew I was doing it. Whenever I was being tendentious, I knew I was. Even now when I write things that may or may not make sense, or may look completely irrelevant, I know I am doing it. That it my objective for today.
If someday some person reads my blog for the first time and complains to me that I write crap, then I would say "half of what I write is crap; but it is necessary so that the other half reaches you". If he says I am trying to flaunt some thing - some precise things, then I would surely ask "are you reading my blog for the first time? I have been doing it since the day I started writing. I had only one premise."
Every post I write, has in some way or the other, 'this' premise I talk about. I know I am not literally talking about it. But those who know me know what is inferred. Yes this thing - those who know me - it makes a whole world of difference. Those who don't know, can surely think me as a bad person. I remember a person calling me mysterious not once but several times. We are great friends now - nobody can believe how great.
I know my behavior is not like that of others. Especially the way I always prefer keeping my head down while walking in the open, giving as much respect as possible to people when I talk even if they are the closest friends of mine (the way I use 'aap' for everybody irrespective of the relationship and age difference), the way I dress always. I know one or more of these thing can make me appear like mysterious. I don't see how my character can be questioned. Now, in no way am I saying that somebody has done it. I have a premonition and I want to ward it away even before it knocks me out.
My brother who is a lot more than four years younger to me knows how we both brothers are different from others in the way we treat each other. On several occasions he has termed me as strange and I liked it. I liked it because I do treat my brother quiet differently than others treating their siblings.
My parents, especially my father, is more often like a friend to me. I have shared almost everything about me with him. I couldn't let him know the premise. I have that guilt always that I have to hide this from him and my mother. I can't explain how much I tell them about me. I can't describe how close I am to them yet how that premise effects things.
Some days back one of my friends was staring at some girls and appreciating them. I immediately started a debate about this - staring at girls with no reason. He, along with another friend, argued that it is normal for men to look at girls this way. I asked if I was not normal if I don't have the same belief. The answer I got from them was a 'yes'. To be frank, I liked when they said I am not normal - especially for this reason that I don't like looking at any girl except for when I have some valid reason and I hardly find valid reasons for this. I took being called 'not normal as a compliment.
For the first time in my blog - in all the blogs I have - I will mention something like this; I won't repeat it again: one of those friends was a girl and she too said that it was normal for guys to look or stare at girls. So, I did take it as a compliment. I can't simply imagine myself looking at a girl with no reason.
Now, one could say that I am praising myself here. Yes I am doing that. I started todays post with something mentioning about this. I am talking about myself. I am talking about what people have to tell about me. I am talking about these people who are good friends of mine. I break one of the rules I had for my blogs just to explain a point that I am not like the other guys. Yes, this might sound absurd here - me calling myself different from other guys. Again somebody might say I am praising myself. That person doesn't trust me.
The reason for what I did - wrote - the above was the premise again. That premise has made me start writing in blogs. It has changed my life. And if that premise tells that everything I write relates to it directly sometimes and sometimes indirectly, I will agree without a doubt or a question in my mind. Thats the premise. And if the premise says that my talking and writing about it defames it, then it is going to hurt me more than how many things could hurt because I remember that when that thing became my premise I fell from grace. I was humiliated. I lost all the image I had in front of some of my friends who were with me since my childhood. I lost a few friends because of this. I lost respect. I lost pride. My ego was hurt. I felt myself a looser. I cursed myself. It changed my life. But no matter what happens to me or what has happened with me or to me, I can never ever even think of hurting the premise in any way. I would kill myself than do that.
If that premise says that my blogs' existence can be bad for it's image, I will delete all of them - all my blogs with several hundred posts in them; all that had taken hours and hours to be built. If that premise says that my existence is a problem for it, then I am sorry to say I won't 'delete' myself. I know that I belong to Allah and that I have no right over the life he has blessed me with. I can think even when I can be mad. At least here.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Love is blind and madness always accompanies it!
Some days back when my father went to a petrol pump to get his two-wheeler filled, he fell short of change. He had currency notes and the person there wanted a rupee in change. When my father put his hand into his pocket, he took out a pack of mint, 'minto', with the two last pieces in it. He offered it the person there with a smile. The person took one and my father popped the second into his mouth. There was no issue with that rupee then.
My father was explaining to me that every person is nice. All we need is the right approach. Usually people working at such places are stubborn and they don't understand what courtesy is. This time it was different. Very different.
Saturday late in the evening we went t an electronics show at Abids, TMC, and purchased a television. It was delivered to our house the next day. It is Samsung Plano - 29 inches flat. I simply can't resist staring at it! As if that was not enough to make me get more interested in watching television - which definitely I am going to resist successfully - today I came to know that we won an upgrade to the present model. That will be done in the next coming five days.
Today I had the first of my lab externals. It was made very easy for me by Allah. There was some problem with one of the two programs, but after the lecturer checked the code, she found that the algorithm had no fault in it and she marked 'executed' for it. Viva too was easy. Alhamdulillah. I have two more tests to go. InshAllah I will do them well too.
Today after coming from the college I spent some good time with the newspapers. I read some things that are specially made available in the news papers so that they sell. Those 'things' were interesting but more than half of it was crap. Not that I didn't read sensible things - I read about the military developments being undertaken by USA and Russia especially the deployment of missile interceptors by the United States in eastern Europe. There are some ideas of the continuation of the famous cold war. Russia says US is doing it because Russians are upgrading their defense systems. US says the interceptors are for the long range Iranian missiles. There is no proof that Iran is in possession of such long range weaponry.!
My father was explaining to me that every person is nice. All we need is the right approach. Usually people working at such places are stubborn and they don't understand what courtesy is. This time it was different. Very different.
Saturday late in the evening we went t an electronics show at Abids, TMC, and purchased a television. It was delivered to our house the next day. It is Samsung Plano - 29 inches flat. I simply can't resist staring at it! As if that was not enough to make me get more interested in watching television - which definitely I am going to resist successfully - today I came to know that we won an upgrade to the present model. That will be done in the next coming five days.
Today I had the first of my lab externals. It was made very easy for me by Allah. There was some problem with one of the two programs, but after the lecturer checked the code, she found that the algorithm had no fault in it and she marked 'executed' for it. Viva too was easy. Alhamdulillah. I have two more tests to go. InshAllah I will do them well too.
Today after coming from the college I spent some good time with the newspapers. I read some things that are specially made available in the news papers so that they sell. Those 'things' were interesting but more than half of it was crap. Not that I didn't read sensible things - I read about the military developments being undertaken by USA and Russia especially the deployment of missile interceptors by the United States in eastern Europe. There are some ideas of the continuation of the famous cold war. Russia says US is doing it because Russians are upgrading their defense systems. US says the interceptors are for the long range Iranian missiles. There is no proof that Iran is in possession of such long range weaponry.!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
The best of His creations ...
Initially I had my reservations when I was told about the pictures taken on the farewell party. When I showed a little frustration none of my friends mailed them to me. I was hardly thinking about them until I saw a few in the college. Now I have more snaps than man other people in my class or elsewhere!
Some days back my brother's friend gave a hard-drive to me asking for the movies I have with me. Today I finally copied them all into it. I copied almost 20 Gb of data. It was irritating to see the system go slow when the copying process was on. I smiled when I thought even the slow speed of my computer can teach me something - patience here! It is working perfectly fine now. Alhamdulillah.
I have been receiving several queries from my cousins asking about the anonymous commenter on our family blog and the only answer I am giving them is that it would be immature to find any conclusions. I may not keep calm for long but presently I see light ahead of me and I am happy. I still have no grudges against that person. Priority works.
I showed all the farewell pictures to my brother. I told him a little about my friends. I showed him some videos. I really see no ideas inside me that would tell me what he might have thought after seeing them. There were things I wanted him to understand. Especially I emphasized extraordinarily on a few pictures and on a video. I am sure those who know me understand this. I asked my father to have a look at them; he was tired, said that he would see them later, then he slept.
In the afternoon two of my college friends came down to my house. We saw the movie 'What Women Want'. We didn't see the complete movie but just the enough part that would entertain us and clear the idea! The movie was nice. Interesting. But senseless.
I have my lab externals starting from Monday. I am a little too much apprehensive about one of the tests - Computer Networks. I guess I will have to spend some time with it tomorrow at least. I have never, or hardly, spent time on studying before the exams. this time it is imperative. I don't want to end up in an impasse.
I don't know how to put the thing I have in my mind now. At times they look foolish, some times very simple. And most of the time they look everything to me. Whenever I use the word 'life', somewhere in my heart I feel something silly or imbecile. I wish to fade my inanity with the light of the coming days. But the 'coming days' I long for never appear. They are blurred by their own light. Maybe I am unreasonable and desperate. I am loosgin my mind.
Some days back my brother's friend gave a hard-drive to me asking for the movies I have with me. Today I finally copied them all into it. I copied almost 20 Gb of data. It was irritating to see the system go slow when the copying process was on. I smiled when I thought even the slow speed of my computer can teach me something - patience here! It is working perfectly fine now. Alhamdulillah.
I have been receiving several queries from my cousins asking about the anonymous commenter on our family blog and the only answer I am giving them is that it would be immature to find any conclusions. I may not keep calm for long but presently I see light ahead of me and I am happy. I still have no grudges against that person. Priority works.
I showed all the farewell pictures to my brother. I told him a little about my friends. I showed him some videos. I really see no ideas inside me that would tell me what he might have thought after seeing them. There were things I wanted him to understand. Especially I emphasized extraordinarily on a few pictures and on a video. I am sure those who know me understand this. I asked my father to have a look at them; he was tired, said that he would see them later, then he slept.
In the afternoon two of my college friends came down to my house. We saw the movie 'What Women Want'. We didn't see the complete movie but just the enough part that would entertain us and clear the idea! The movie was nice. Interesting. But senseless.
I have my lab externals starting from Monday. I am a little too much apprehensive about one of the tests - Computer Networks. I guess I will have to spend some time with it tomorrow at least. I have never, or hardly, spent time on studying before the exams. this time it is imperative. I don't want to end up in an impasse.
I don't know how to put the thing I have in my mind now. At times they look foolish, some times very simple. And most of the time they look everything to me. Whenever I use the word 'life', somewhere in my heart I feel something silly or imbecile. I wish to fade my inanity with the light of the coming days. But the 'coming days' I long for never appear. They are blurred by their own light. Maybe I am unreasonable and desperate. I am loosgin my mind.
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