Sunday, January 21, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Google, Computer Graphics and My Lunch Box
Flowing Emotions has been reviewed again by a kind visitor through blogsrater.com. http://www.blogsrater.com/review.php?id=806
I found a few interesting things on the blogs of the person who gave the review ...
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends"
Martin Luther King Jr.
"The proverbs, like the oaks, don’t cry, but compel. The ages whisper: “Whom we love best, to them we can say least” Thus the nature study makes clear why we are the eternal debtors of the ones we love the most."
By the blogger himself.
"If I know what love is, it is because of you."
-- Hermann Hesse (1877-1962), Poet
http://trustlight.blogspot.com
http://captains-bridge.blogspot.com
http://www2.blogger.com/profile/16226497003658176393
Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my father on religions and gods other religions follow. We discussed how Jesus (pbuh) never told that he is the son of God and never in the Bible is it written that there is anything like trinity. Then when we came to Hinduism, the misnomer of Vedantism, we pondered on how they have started worshiping humans and have called them as god. In fact I felt that these people do not know the meaning of the word 'God'.
There are some personalities who are being worshiped by Hindus and are termed as god. According to them these personalities could perform miracles and they were/are wise. My father said that the common goes for what he finds superior to him and starts doing what he is not supposed. I immediately asked my father who this common man is. He said he is the one who cannot think. My father is right - those who can't think remain common because they like being called common. That is their yardstick!
Today I woke up at 7:45 am. I had to do so many things that I realized I won't be able to make it to the college even by 9:30 am. So, I decided that I would be slow and reach the college well before the start of the second class - 10:50 am. I reached the college that 10:20 am. I was happy. Then as the time neared to 10:50 and then 11 am, I realized that the already there in the class was going to continue the class till 12:30 pm.
I could complain about myself but I went to the football ground, sat in a corner on the stairs and continued reading 'Magnet People'. At 12 pm I went to the library and read news paper till 12:25 pm. Later I had to tell all this to so many of my friends who asked me why I came to the college when there were no classes in the afternoon. I liked telling them. :D
After the prayers I left the college and reached home a little after 3 pm. I slept and woke up after 7:15 pm. I still don't feel nice that I slept for so long. I should have woken up early. When I get sleep and don't get the right motivation, it becomes really tough to get up. In the mornings is it easy for em to get up because it's fajar and also that I get to chat with any of my cousins online at that time. 2 reasons - I know it should just be the 1st one. InshAllah it will be, very soon.
Yesterday I spent sometime in searching the internet on what it has to tell about Muharram and the 10th of Muharram. Here is a short summary of what all interesting I found:
The month of Muharram is associated with many auspicious events in Islamic history. Allah is supposed to have created the heavens and the earth on this blessed day. On this day He gave His infinite blessings and bounties to many of His Prophets and delivered them from the clutches of their enemies. Allah created Hazrat Adam (pbuh) in this month and pardoned him of his mistake. Hazrat Noah's Ark landed successfully on Mount Judi during this time centuries ago. God is also said to have saved Hazrat Ibrahim from fire and rescued Hazrat Musa from the Pharaoh during the month of Muharram. The Sunni Muslims also fast during Muharram and on the tenth day as recommended by the Prophet Muhammad during his lifetime. (Source: Wikipedia and some websites found through Google search.)
Yesterday we had no class in the afternoon. We just had a lab (Computer Networks for my batch) in the morning. But at 3 pm I had to attend a seminar on Search Engines which was delivered by Mr. Hamza Hydri. He is a Ph.D, works in Italy, and does research on search engines and related technologies. He has been a part of many research papers and knows a great deal on many new technologies currently being developed for the world wide web. Most importantly, he was a student of my college and he graduated in 2002.
I found the seminar very interesting. There were many things I had read on google from some pages of google itself. But they were broken. I had a some knowhow of how google works, the personalized search engines and its servers that constantly scan the web for new pages and also the page ranking system. The seminar gave me an organized form of knowledge. While the talk was being given, at many times, I felt that I already know a few things. The seminar made the information complete. I enjoyed the 90 minutes I spent in the Seminar hall of my college yesterday.
Today around 12:45 pm in the college I took my lunch box out and started eating. I had 7 of my friends around me. I shared my box with 2 of them. All the time while I was eating I was in a dilemma if I should ask others if they would like to taste or if I should keep quiet. I thought it would be bad for me to offer my lunch box because there was only one spoon available and 3 people were already using it. But I also thought that food can be eaten even by using hands. I was confused. I did nothing except finishing the box and putting it inside my bag. I hope I decide something on this soon.
I am sure at least one of them have thought how possessive I am about my lunch box. The reason is different. Some times I don't ask anybody if they would like to share my box thinking that if that person doesn't want to have it, he would still do it thinking that I may feel bad if he refuses. I don't know what to do!
I found a few interesting things on the blogs of the person who gave the review ...
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends"
Martin Luther King Jr.
"The proverbs, like the oaks, don’t cry, but compel. The ages whisper: “Whom we love best, to them we can say least” Thus the nature study makes clear why we are the eternal debtors of the ones we love the most."
By the blogger himself.
"If I know what love is, it is because of you."
-- Hermann Hesse (1877-1962), Poet
http://trustlight.blogspot.com
http://captains-bridge.blogspot.com
http://www2.blogger.com/profile/16226497003658176393
Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my father on religions and gods other religions follow. We discussed how Jesus (pbuh) never told that he is the son of God and never in the Bible is it written that there is anything like trinity. Then when we came to Hinduism, the misnomer of Vedantism, we pondered on how they have started worshiping humans and have called them as god. In fact I felt that these people do not know the meaning of the word 'God'.
There are some personalities who are being worshiped by Hindus and are termed as god. According to them these personalities could perform miracles and they were/are wise. My father said that the common goes for what he finds superior to him and starts doing what he is not supposed. I immediately asked my father who this common man is. He said he is the one who cannot think. My father is right - those who can't think remain common because they like being called common. That is their yardstick!
Today I woke up at 7:45 am. I had to do so many things that I realized I won't be able to make it to the college even by 9:30 am. So, I decided that I would be slow and reach the college well before the start of the second class - 10:50 am. I reached the college that 10:20 am. I was happy. Then as the time neared to 10:50 and then 11 am, I realized that the already there in the class was going to continue the class till 12:30 pm.
I could complain about myself but I went to the football ground, sat in a corner on the stairs and continued reading 'Magnet People'. At 12 pm I went to the library and read news paper till 12:25 pm. Later I had to tell all this to so many of my friends who asked me why I came to the college when there were no classes in the afternoon. I liked telling them. :D
After the prayers I left the college and reached home a little after 3 pm. I slept and woke up after 7:15 pm. I still don't feel nice that I slept for so long. I should have woken up early. When I get sleep and don't get the right motivation, it becomes really tough to get up. In the mornings is it easy for em to get up because it's fajar and also that I get to chat with any of my cousins online at that time. 2 reasons - I know it should just be the 1st one. InshAllah it will be, very soon.
Yesterday I spent sometime in searching the internet on what it has to tell about Muharram and the 10th of Muharram. Here is a short summary of what all interesting I found:
The month of Muharram is associated with many auspicious events in Islamic history. Allah is supposed to have created the heavens and the earth on this blessed day. On this day He gave His infinite blessings and bounties to many of His Prophets and delivered them from the clutches of their enemies. Allah created Hazrat Adam (pbuh) in this month and pardoned him of his mistake. Hazrat Noah's Ark landed successfully on Mount Judi during this time centuries ago. God is also said to have saved Hazrat Ibrahim from fire and rescued Hazrat Musa from the Pharaoh during the month of Muharram. The Sunni Muslims also fast during Muharram and on the tenth day as recommended by the Prophet Muhammad during his lifetime. (Source: Wikipedia and some websites found through Google search.)
Yesterday we had no class in the afternoon. We just had a lab (Computer Networks for my batch) in the morning. But at 3 pm I had to attend a seminar on Search Engines which was delivered by Mr. Hamza Hydri. He is a Ph.D, works in Italy, and does research on search engines and related technologies. He has been a part of many research papers and knows a great deal on many new technologies currently being developed for the world wide web. Most importantly, he was a student of my college and he graduated in 2002.
I found the seminar very interesting. There were many things I had read on google from some pages of google itself. But they were broken. I had a some knowhow of how google works, the personalized search engines and its servers that constantly scan the web for new pages and also the page ranking system. The seminar gave me an organized form of knowledge. While the talk was being given, at many times, I felt that I already know a few things. The seminar made the information complete. I enjoyed the 90 minutes I spent in the Seminar hall of my college yesterday.
Today around 12:45 pm in the college I took my lunch box out and started eating. I had 7 of my friends around me. I shared my box with 2 of them. All the time while I was eating I was in a dilemma if I should ask others if they would like to taste or if I should keep quiet. I thought it would be bad for me to offer my lunch box because there was only one spoon available and 3 people were already using it. But I also thought that food can be eaten even by using hands. I was confused. I did nothing except finishing the box and putting it inside my bag. I hope I decide something on this soon.
I am sure at least one of them have thought how possessive I am about my lunch box. The reason is different. Some times I don't ask anybody if they would like to share my box thinking that if that person doesn't want to have it, he would still do it thinking that I may feel bad if he refuses. I don't know what to do!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Is there a hole in my character?
Yesterday when I came out of the class at 12:30 pm for the lunch recess, I didn't know that I was not going to attend the Computer Graphics lab that was going to start at 1:20 pm. After having having my lunch one of my friend's told me that he was not feeling like attending it. Even I said the same thing. I called a cousin of mine and confirmed with him about meeting in the evening.
Two of my friends were leaving the college at 1:30 pm to watch the movie 'Guru'. Initially, I wasn't interested. But I thought it would be just fine if I take along with them, and at 2:15 pm were at a theatre, Venkanramana. We got the tickets with ease and the movie went on upto 5:15 pm.
The movie was worth watching. I somehow felt that the story was similar to that of 'The Fountainhead'. The role played by Abhishek Bachan was pretty close to a role that can be created by bringing together the two major characters of the novel - Howard Roark and Gail Waynand. Aishwariya Rai too was close Dominique Frankon in the way in which she supports 'Guru' all through his fight as a businessman. I didn't like th songs in the movie.
After the movie my friends dropped me at Koti and I went to see m cousin at Masab Tank. I didn't go till his house - called him out. He was ready waiting for me and in a few minutes we were at City Center. There at a shop named Max we spent around 20 minutes. I had to buy some gifts - for my father and 2 of my friends. I bought a flower vase for my father. It was his birthday on 12th of January.
We had a burger at McDonald's after that. We decided not to drink anything there and bought some cool drink bottle on our way to Panjagutta. We went to Archie's Gallery. I was searching for something I saw at Max. I thought Archie's would be having some more variety on that. But no success. There I decided that I would be going to Max again and buy what I have seen. I had seen this particular thing long way in the December and it was then itself that I had decided to gift it to a friend.
Our next stop was Cafe Coffee Day at Jubilee Hills. We stayed there for almost an hour. We had an apple flavored 'hukka' and Cafe Frappe! It was good to be there even though there was something not completely fine with the 'hukka'. But we enjoyed it. Then we came back again to City Center - Max, and I bought the gift. I was at home around 9:15 pm. My parents greeted me with their smiles and were glad to see me home 15 minutes before the time I had told them I would be coming - 9:30 pm.
After coming home I had chats with a few friends and cousins. By the time I went to sleep it was already 12:15 am. I wanted to sleep early - I was too tired. Today I woke up at 6 am. When I turned on the computer at 6: 20 am I found my sister online, finally. We had a short chat and now, I am here writing this post.
The 'hukka' was fine. This was my third meeting with this gentleman. And like the last 2 times, I had a little tough time with it for the first 20 to 30 minutes. The first few intakes hit my throat and head. I immediately started feeling giddy. I thought I would perhaps fall. I was also thinking how I would reach my home. Along with that I was having coffee. But slowly my lungs and blood got used to the smoke and I was enjoying the flavor and feeling of letting out this smoke from my mouth and nostrils. The first few minutes are always testing I thought!
Lately I have been thinking if my actions and behavior match with the character I have and intend to possess. If someday my parents have to introduce me to anybody, they would say "meet my son Zubair. He is doing his engineering from Muffakham Jah. He is in CSE and in the last semester he has scored 68% marks. His aggregate is around 72%. He has many friends and he roams around with them a lot. He frequents a lot to Sarvi, Ohri's, Coffee Day, Pizza Hut, KFC, McDonalds, HC, City Center and the similar kind of places. He smokes 'hukka' too. And he watches a lot of movies."
It would be a different thing that many of the places they refer are the ones I visit once only in months, the hukka I had was just the third time and I don't usually watch more than one movie per month. I have seen them already do this a few times but it was never in a sarcastic way or in a way in which it could insult me or at least present me as a person who is a freak. But I know that someday it can cost me several thing. I don't know what exactly I am but a good part of what my parents would be true.
Then to make things more serious I opened a new chapter in the book of my engineering yesterday. It was a class of Design and Analysis of Algorithms going on. An aged professor teaches us this subject and he hardly cares to who is listening. I was feeling sleepy so I moved back tot he second bench. I highlight the words 'second bench'. I listened to the class for sometime until I got excited to see people around me listening to music on their cell phones. Of course they had the ear phones.
I thought of giving it a try. Beside me was my friend who was listening to some music too. I took the right side ear phone from him and put it to my ears. I listened to 2 songs - none of them fully - a song form the movie 'Taal' and 'It's My life' by DJ Alban. It was just a matter of 10 minutes that I was sure everybody knew I was doing this. Later I came to know it made a good difference.
Now I wonder where I am going. I have been doing things I never thought I would ever do. I go to so many places, I listen to music in the class, I spend so much time with my friends ... the list goes on. This is not what I thought would be until a couple of years back. I have no regrets to anything I am doing except for the last thing I did - listened to music when the class was on.
I have perhaps flawed my character so many times by now. I have put in action things that contradict the behavior and the mind set I have - may be. I am not even sure if I can understand what is happening. Not is troubling me. I just don't want to loose anything I have build all these years in my heart and mind. I want to have a clean character and show it with my actions. If my actions show something else, the I am a hypocrite. It's a sin to be so.
I don't want to be like those who say somethings, do something else and believe in a completely new ideas. I want to be one. I intend to be so. I don't want anybody to say that my talk is 'big' or I am a fool thinking this way. May these things don't come to everybody's minds or may be they o. It makes a difference to me here. I don't want to have a loose character with holes in it. I don't know how others take these kind of things about themselves. Somewhere my integrity is being compromised.
Two of my friends were leaving the college at 1:30 pm to watch the movie 'Guru'. Initially, I wasn't interested. But I thought it would be just fine if I take along with them, and at 2:15 pm were at a theatre, Venkanramana. We got the tickets with ease and the movie went on upto 5:15 pm.
The movie was worth watching. I somehow felt that the story was similar to that of 'The Fountainhead'. The role played by Abhishek Bachan was pretty close to a role that can be created by bringing together the two major characters of the novel - Howard Roark and Gail Waynand. Aishwariya Rai too was close Dominique Frankon in the way in which she supports 'Guru' all through his fight as a businessman. I didn't like th songs in the movie.
After the movie my friends dropped me at Koti and I went to see m cousin at Masab Tank. I didn't go till his house - called him out. He was ready waiting for me and in a few minutes we were at City Center. There at a shop named Max we spent around 20 minutes. I had to buy some gifts - for my father and 2 of my friends. I bought a flower vase for my father. It was his birthday on 12th of January.
We had a burger at McDonald's after that. We decided not to drink anything there and bought some cool drink bottle on our way to Panjagutta. We went to Archie's Gallery. I was searching for something I saw at Max. I thought Archie's would be having some more variety on that. But no success. There I decided that I would be going to Max again and buy what I have seen. I had seen this particular thing long way in the December and it was then itself that I had decided to gift it to a friend.
Our next stop was Cafe Coffee Day at Jubilee Hills. We stayed there for almost an hour. We had an apple flavored 'hukka' and Cafe Frappe! It was good to be there even though there was something not completely fine with the 'hukka'. But we enjoyed it. Then we came back again to City Center - Max, and I bought the gift. I was at home around 9:15 pm. My parents greeted me with their smiles and were glad to see me home 15 minutes before the time I had told them I would be coming - 9:30 pm.
After coming home I had chats with a few friends and cousins. By the time I went to sleep it was already 12:15 am. I wanted to sleep early - I was too tired. Today I woke up at 6 am. When I turned on the computer at 6: 20 am I found my sister online, finally. We had a short chat and now, I am here writing this post.
The 'hukka' was fine. This was my third meeting with this gentleman. And like the last 2 times, I had a little tough time with it for the first 20 to 30 minutes. The first few intakes hit my throat and head. I immediately started feeling giddy. I thought I would perhaps fall. I was also thinking how I would reach my home. Along with that I was having coffee. But slowly my lungs and blood got used to the smoke and I was enjoying the flavor and feeling of letting out this smoke from my mouth and nostrils. The first few minutes are always testing I thought!
Lately I have been thinking if my actions and behavior match with the character I have and intend to possess. If someday my parents have to introduce me to anybody, they would say "meet my son Zubair. He is doing his engineering from Muffakham Jah. He is in CSE and in the last semester he has scored 68% marks. His aggregate is around 72%. He has many friends and he roams around with them a lot. He frequents a lot to Sarvi, Ohri's, Coffee Day, Pizza Hut, KFC, McDonalds, HC, City Center and the similar kind of places. He smokes 'hukka' too. And he watches a lot of movies."
It would be a different thing that many of the places they refer are the ones I visit once only in months, the hukka I had was just the third time and I don't usually watch more than one movie per month. I have seen them already do this a few times but it was never in a sarcastic way or in a way in which it could insult me or at least present me as a person who is a freak. But I know that someday it can cost me several thing. I don't know what exactly I am but a good part of what my parents would be true.
Then to make things more serious I opened a new chapter in the book of my engineering yesterday. It was a class of Design and Analysis of Algorithms going on. An aged professor teaches us this subject and he hardly cares to who is listening. I was feeling sleepy so I moved back tot he second bench. I highlight the words 'second bench'. I listened to the class for sometime until I got excited to see people around me listening to music on their cell phones. Of course they had the ear phones.
I thought of giving it a try. Beside me was my friend who was listening to some music too. I took the right side ear phone from him and put it to my ears. I listened to 2 songs - none of them fully - a song form the movie 'Taal' and 'It's My life' by DJ Alban. It was just a matter of 10 minutes that I was sure everybody knew I was doing this. Later I came to know it made a good difference.
Now I wonder where I am going. I have been doing things I never thought I would ever do. I go to so many places, I listen to music in the class, I spend so much time with my friends ... the list goes on. This is not what I thought would be until a couple of years back. I have no regrets to anything I am doing except for the last thing I did - listened to music when the class was on.
I have perhaps flawed my character so many times by now. I have put in action things that contradict the behavior and the mind set I have - may be. I am not even sure if I can understand what is happening. Not is troubling me. I just don't want to loose anything I have build all these years in my heart and mind. I want to have a clean character and show it with my actions. If my actions show something else, the I am a hypocrite. It's a sin to be so.
I don't want to be like those who say somethings, do something else and believe in a completely new ideas. I want to be one. I intend to be so. I don't want anybody to say that my talk is 'big' or I am a fool thinking this way. May these things don't come to everybody's minds or may be they o. It makes a difference to me here. I don't want to have a loose character with holes in it. I don't know how others take these kind of things about themselves. Somewhere my integrity is being compromised.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Tuesday
Yesterday I was busy writing the post for Flowing Emotions. Though I started writing it after 11 pm, I didn't even consider updating this blog before that. Earlier I had been to my aunt's house and accompanied her to Abid's to shopping. She is leaving for Mecca on 26th of this month and will be back only in 2008. I hope not to be in Hyderabad when she comes here! InshAllah I won't be here because I will be in some other city doing MBA.
The college yesterday was till 12:30 pm. One of the lecturers didn't turn up to the college so we were left early. I even had to write an assignment in the college itself I knew nothing of which. The subject lecturer asked for it in the class itself and I said I would be giving it in the lunch break. Thanks to one of my friends who drew the diagram for me. I did the writing work.
Just a few minutes before I was about to start writing, a friend came up to me telling that he had a shocking news for me. I casually turned to another friend sitting beside me and told him that no news can be shocking to me unless ... I didn't finish the sentence but he understood what I was going to say. I was taken in a corner to be told about the 'shocking news'.
It was shocking. I couldn't believe it. It was like hell to me for the next 20 minutes. I was not able to write properly. But I was smiling all though. For once I thought everything was going to change forever. I was afraid of what would possibly come next. In those 20 minutes I thought about my next 20 years and what I would be doing in the next 2 hours. In some way I was happy too believing that finally something has arrived that would in some way put an end to many things.
Then may be this friend of mine saw something on my face which made him tell me the truth. He promised to me that he wasn't kidding now. I was relaxed. It was such a relief. The last 20 minutes had taken away my breath. I couldn't talk to him after that as he had some class to attend and he left. I left for my aunt's house.
On my way I had chicken biryaani and tea at a hotel in Mehdipatnam along with my friend. I just told him that I never had tea with a friend at a hotel before and we did it. But it wasn't like having tea in a Irani hotel. We took to the dining section.
The college yesterday was till 12:30 pm. One of the lecturers didn't turn up to the college so we were left early. I even had to write an assignment in the college itself I knew nothing of which. The subject lecturer asked for it in the class itself and I said I would be giving it in the lunch break. Thanks to one of my friends who drew the diagram for me. I did the writing work.
Just a few minutes before I was about to start writing, a friend came up to me telling that he had a shocking news for me. I casually turned to another friend sitting beside me and told him that no news can be shocking to me unless ... I didn't finish the sentence but he understood what I was going to say. I was taken in a corner to be told about the 'shocking news'.
It was shocking. I couldn't believe it. It was like hell to me for the next 20 minutes. I was not able to write properly. But I was smiling all though. For once I thought everything was going to change forever. I was afraid of what would possibly come next. In those 20 minutes I thought about my next 20 years and what I would be doing in the next 2 hours. In some way I was happy too believing that finally something has arrived that would in some way put an end to many things.
Then may be this friend of mine saw something on my face which made him tell me the truth. He promised to me that he wasn't kidding now. I was relaxed. It was such a relief. The last 20 minutes had taken away my breath. I couldn't talk to him after that as he had some class to attend and he left. I left for my aunt's house.
On my way I had chicken biryaani and tea at a hotel in Mehdipatnam along with my friend. I just told him that I never had tea with a friend at a hotel before and we did it. But it wasn't like having tea in a Irani hotel. We took to the dining section.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Magnet People
Almost an hour back I asked somebody to pray. I said this after hearing several things I didn't liked and also after being asked to do something which I thought was not ethical and correct. I had to hear even more after I asked the person to pray. I kept myself silent all the time and listened to everything. I didn't listen actually - I heard. It was partial. In the end I said that it would have been much good and valuable if this time spent in telling me all this was invested in prayers.
All the while I was trying to read a book. Yesterday I treated myself with the final few pages of 'The Alchemist'. It had a wonderful finish. I expected the end to be something unexpected! And today I started with 'Magnet People' by Roger Fritz. I took it from my uncle a fortnight back. The book comes inside the bracket of self-help books but this one particularly deals with people who work and live in a business environment.
I don't like reading any book that points directly to the idea of personality development. I find these type of books as more naive written to make money. These books have things people like to read. The kind of books I like are have a sharper focus on aspects that clearly deal with generic topics. I read one 'The Dream is Everything' by Peter Cox. It was about fulfilling of dreams. I read 'Strategies of Success' by John C Maxwell. It was about how success can be achieved - of course by hardwork - and some extra things that are to be kept in mind. I read 'Magic of Thinking Big' by David J Schwartz and 'How to Become a Person of Influence' by Jim Dornan and John C Maxwell. The names of the books say everything.
None of the above are for personality development. But I also read 'I Can Win' by Shiv Khera. I agree it was a bit closer to the above class. But still it was different. If I look at my right to the shelf that shelves a book named 'Personality Development' by Rajiv K Mishra, I would tell myself I shouldn't come down to the level of reading a book like that. Also that Indian authors turn me off!
Yesterday I wanted to go to a cousin's house. I thought of going out for some shopping with him. But it time time didn't help me. I had to choose between parents and this. I was with my parents. As my mother had to go to her office, along with my father and brother I went to pick her up from there. Then we had a lunch at Sidhartha Hotel which is just next to her office. (i still wonder why so little number of people who that hotel. It has bee into existence for more than 20 years now I am sure.)
I thought we would be having something heavy and non-vegetarian there. But when my mother asked my father what he was interested in eating, he said 'Poori'! Instead of going to the chinese section, we entered the coffee shop. The waiter told us that there was no north Indian food available at that time of the day. I had a 'plain paper dosa' and followed it with a cup of coffee.
When we started from the restaurant, my brother asked "what next". My father replied "home". We went to the Industrial Exhibition. My mother already told that we won't be buying anything and will stay there not for a very long time. We ate quite a few things but I bought a coffee mug for myself. I didn't buy it; my parents paid the bill. My mother was more interested in the refrigerators and televisions. We have been looking at the same old pieces at home for the last 10 years!
We reached home at 8 pm. I was tired and did nothing much after that. But I finished the book I was reading and spent a lot of time on the internet. I slept at 2 am. And woke up at 11 am int he morning. In fact I woke up a lot earlier than that and just lay myself on the bed for a long time - thinking and contemplating.
I thought of doing the regular chores early and leaving for my cousin's place by 12 noon. I came to know that my aunt and uncle were coming (parents of my cousin who got married a few weeks back). They are still in Hyderabad and should be here till the end of this week before leaving to Gulbarga. Then by the end of this week my uncle will return to his job in Sakaaka, Saudi Arabia.
I saw the photo album of the photographs taken at the wedding function of my cousin sister. I was glad to see myself at so many places there with so many people. The I also copied the marriage videos onto my computer. I couldn't get the CD in which the photographs of the album (hard-copy) were written. My uncle said he will give it to me when we meet next. He saw all the pics I took during the ceremonies and took a copy of them with him. I also showed him the 'Ya Ali' video which my cousins had prepared in August. It was pleasing to my eyes to see that the video had been view more than 2500 times on Google Videos.
Since the start of evening I have been trying to think of some good topic to write on fr Flowing Emotions. I don't know if I will actually write before sleeping, but I have found the idea and also the content. I have to give it a form - in words!
All the while I was trying to read a book. Yesterday I treated myself with the final few pages of 'The Alchemist'. It had a wonderful finish. I expected the end to be something unexpected! And today I started with 'Magnet People' by Roger Fritz. I took it from my uncle a fortnight back. The book comes inside the bracket of self-help books but this one particularly deals with people who work and live in a business environment.
I don't like reading any book that points directly to the idea of personality development. I find these type of books as more naive written to make money. These books have things people like to read. The kind of books I like are have a sharper focus on aspects that clearly deal with generic topics. I read one 'The Dream is Everything' by Peter Cox. It was about fulfilling of dreams. I read 'Strategies of Success' by John C Maxwell. It was about how success can be achieved - of course by hardwork - and some extra things that are to be kept in mind. I read 'Magic of Thinking Big' by David J Schwartz and 'How to Become a Person of Influence' by Jim Dornan and John C Maxwell. The names of the books say everything.
None of the above are for personality development. But I also read 'I Can Win' by Shiv Khera. I agree it was a bit closer to the above class. But still it was different. If I look at my right to the shelf that shelves a book named 'Personality Development' by Rajiv K Mishra, I would tell myself I shouldn't come down to the level of reading a book like that. Also that Indian authors turn me off!
Yesterday I wanted to go to a cousin's house. I thought of going out for some shopping with him. But it time time didn't help me. I had to choose between parents and this. I was with my parents. As my mother had to go to her office, along with my father and brother I went to pick her up from there. Then we had a lunch at Sidhartha Hotel which is just next to her office. (i still wonder why so little number of people who that hotel. It has bee into existence for more than 20 years now I am sure.)
I thought we would be having something heavy and non-vegetarian there. But when my mother asked my father what he was interested in eating, he said 'Poori'! Instead of going to the chinese section, we entered the coffee shop. The waiter told us that there was no north Indian food available at that time of the day. I had a 'plain paper dosa' and followed it with a cup of coffee.
When we started from the restaurant, my brother asked "what next". My father replied "home". We went to the Industrial Exhibition. My mother already told that we won't be buying anything and will stay there not for a very long time. We ate quite a few things but I bought a coffee mug for myself. I didn't buy it; my parents paid the bill. My mother was more interested in the refrigerators and televisions. We have been looking at the same old pieces at home for the last 10 years!
We reached home at 8 pm. I was tired and did nothing much after that. But I finished the book I was reading and spent a lot of time on the internet. I slept at 2 am. And woke up at 11 am int he morning. In fact I woke up a lot earlier than that and just lay myself on the bed for a long time - thinking and contemplating.
I thought of doing the regular chores early and leaving for my cousin's place by 12 noon. I came to know that my aunt and uncle were coming (parents of my cousin who got married a few weeks back). They are still in Hyderabad and should be here till the end of this week before leaving to Gulbarga. Then by the end of this week my uncle will return to his job in Sakaaka, Saudi Arabia.
I saw the photo album of the photographs taken at the wedding function of my cousin sister. I was glad to see myself at so many places there with so many people. The I also copied the marriage videos onto my computer. I couldn't get the CD in which the photographs of the album (hard-copy) were written. My uncle said he will give it to me when we meet next. He saw all the pics I took during the ceremonies and took a copy of them with him. I also showed him the 'Ya Ali' video which my cousins had prepared in August. It was pleasing to my eyes to see that the video had been view more than 2500 times on Google Videos.
Since the start of evening I have been trying to think of some good topic to write on fr Flowing Emotions. I don't know if I will actually write before sleeping, but I have found the idea and also the content. I have to give it a form - in words!
Saturday, January 13, 2007
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
On Friday I was informed that I won't be having any class at CL on Saturday. There was some error. I called the center and confirmed that I have a class there and Sunday was a holiday. We had a reading comprehension class and there was a lot of reading work to do. I reached home at 9:15 pm.
On Friday night (morning!) I slept at 2 am and woke up only at 11 am and that was when a friend came to meet me. He was here till 1:40 pm. He brought with himself a webcam which we tried to install on my computer as it was giving some problem at his house. We also prepared a CD for him with some softwares and new songs I have.
I had planned a few things for Saturday and nothing went that way. Today I wanted to go a cousin's house but I haven't received any message from him saying that he is free. I know he will be but I need a confirmation. I have to make some purchases and I guess I will go out with him.
My mother has to go to her office today. Her bank works for all 7 days a week and she gets some supervision work on a Sunday once every 2 months. She says it's all time wast sitting there. She has asked us to come to take her from her office today so that we can have a lunch somewhere. She mentioned Sidhartha Hotel. It's a long time since I have been there. But I don't know if I will make it to the place - I might be with my cousin. Mother wants me to be there by 3pm.
Last Sunday my father wanted to take me to the construction site of a very big mansion his friend is getting constructed near MirAlam tank. It was my father who co-ordinated the architect and the engineer for the work. Even I wanted to visit the place given that something new is being done there. Some new materials and new technology is being implemented. But I couldn't go as I had to attend a friend's birthday. If nothing goes as planned today, I will ask my father if we can have that visit today.
Yesterday night when my mother announced the dinner, I didn't feel like eating. It was the homemade biryaani which my grandmother had prepared earlier that day. In general I don't really like homemade biryaani in comparison to the one that is available in the hotels. Though at some places I have liked the taste but still it looks a little different that the one form outside. So, yesterday night I didn't feel like eating it. I had already had a taste of it in the lunch when I visited my grandparents' house just before going to CL.
I had to fill my stomach and I was hungry. I asked my father if I could get something form outside to eat. My mother who was standing behind me objected saying that I should eat it. I told her why I didn't want to eat. But while I was saying all this, I prepared myself to cut my want for more and eat what was there at home. But my parents agreed. I ate a chicken roll. I also had the option of a burger. But I went of for a roll.
Today in the reading comprehension class at Career Launcher, among the several passages I had to read, 2 where about writing and writers. One was about authors who take up pseudo names. All the reasons why such a thing is done where explained and some example of famous writer was also mentioned. The other one was about George Orwell. They were very interesting. The other passages were about museums. There there was and excerpt from some novel. There were few more things to be done and the class went on upto 8:45 pm. We had to spend 15 minutes more than what was stipulated.
Lately my brother has developed interests in architecture. My father and I have once told him that it can be a very nice thing if he could study that subject and take architecture as a profession to become an architect. I once also told him I would have better taken up architecture and not computer sciences (I have no regrets taking computers. I just wanted to let him know how much I like architecture and I wanted to tell him that it has lots of substance in it).
My mother is not so particular about anything presently. She just wants him to do something from a good college. She gives my example. I feel good - but mostly bad - guilty. To study architecture my brother has to write PACET (I have come to know about this from a friend; thanks to him for the information). Presently my brother is preparing for EAMCET and AIEEE. I do not know what he is precisely going to do but I sincerely hope that he gets into a good college. Like me! But study not like me!
This coming week we will be having mock campus placements at my college. They will be conducted by the people from Career Launcher. I have no idea what we are going to do exactly but I am looking forward for it. But I am a bit hesitant too. I have no intention of taking up any job after my engineering. This thing can just help me learn something.
Perhaps in a day or two I will write something for Flowing Emotions. I know there are few more blogs I have that need to be updated. I am looking ahead to have something to write about.
Some days back I had the title of a post as "He will do one of two things". I took that line (stanza) from the song 'How to save a life' by The Fray. The continuation goes this way ...
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you begin to wonder why you came.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Then there was one 'Slaughter. Not hang'. It was for Saddam Hussein. According to me he should have been slaughtered so that it is in concord with the Islamic (shariyat) laws. Hanging was a wrong method adopted. Perhaps I can write something on this if I get something good to think on!
Even today's title and the last 2 ones have been taken from some songs. Yesterday's was from "Lips of an angel". The one before that was from "Savin' me". Today's too is from "Savin' me". Is it not funny?
On Friday night (morning!) I slept at 2 am and woke up only at 11 am and that was when a friend came to meet me. He was here till 1:40 pm. He brought with himself a webcam which we tried to install on my computer as it was giving some problem at his house. We also prepared a CD for him with some softwares and new songs I have.
I had planned a few things for Saturday and nothing went that way. Today I wanted to go a cousin's house but I haven't received any message from him saying that he is free. I know he will be but I need a confirmation. I have to make some purchases and I guess I will go out with him.
My mother has to go to her office today. Her bank works for all 7 days a week and she gets some supervision work on a Sunday once every 2 months. She says it's all time wast sitting there. She has asked us to come to take her from her office today so that we can have a lunch somewhere. She mentioned Sidhartha Hotel. It's a long time since I have been there. But I don't know if I will make it to the place - I might be with my cousin. Mother wants me to be there by 3pm.
Last Sunday my father wanted to take me to the construction site of a very big mansion his friend is getting constructed near MirAlam tank. It was my father who co-ordinated the architect and the engineer for the work. Even I wanted to visit the place given that something new is being done there. Some new materials and new technology is being implemented. But I couldn't go as I had to attend a friend's birthday. If nothing goes as planned today, I will ask my father if we can have that visit today.
Yesterday night when my mother announced the dinner, I didn't feel like eating. It was the homemade biryaani which my grandmother had prepared earlier that day. In general I don't really like homemade biryaani in comparison to the one that is available in the hotels. Though at some places I have liked the taste but still it looks a little different that the one form outside. So, yesterday night I didn't feel like eating it. I had already had a taste of it in the lunch when I visited my grandparents' house just before going to CL.
I had to fill my stomach and I was hungry. I asked my father if I could get something form outside to eat. My mother who was standing behind me objected saying that I should eat it. I told her why I didn't want to eat. But while I was saying all this, I prepared myself to cut my want for more and eat what was there at home. But my parents agreed. I ate a chicken roll. I also had the option of a burger. But I went of for a roll.
Today in the reading comprehension class at Career Launcher, among the several passages I had to read, 2 where about writing and writers. One was about authors who take up pseudo names. All the reasons why such a thing is done where explained and some example of famous writer was also mentioned. The other one was about George Orwell. They were very interesting. The other passages were about museums. There there was and excerpt from some novel. There were few more things to be done and the class went on upto 8:45 pm. We had to spend 15 minutes more than what was stipulated.
Lately my brother has developed interests in architecture. My father and I have once told him that it can be a very nice thing if he could study that subject and take architecture as a profession to become an architect. I once also told him I would have better taken up architecture and not computer sciences (I have no regrets taking computers. I just wanted to let him know how much I like architecture and I wanted to tell him that it has lots of substance in it).
My mother is not so particular about anything presently. She just wants him to do something from a good college. She gives my example. I feel good - but mostly bad - guilty. To study architecture my brother has to write PACET (I have come to know about this from a friend; thanks to him for the information). Presently my brother is preparing for EAMCET and AIEEE. I do not know what he is precisely going to do but I sincerely hope that he gets into a good college. Like me! But study not like me!
This coming week we will be having mock campus placements at my college. They will be conducted by the people from Career Launcher. I have no idea what we are going to do exactly but I am looking forward for it. But I am a bit hesitant too. I have no intention of taking up any job after my engineering. This thing can just help me learn something.
Perhaps in a day or two I will write something for Flowing Emotions. I know there are few more blogs I have that need to be updated. I am looking ahead to have something to write about.
Some days back I had the title of a post as "He will do one of two things". I took that line (stanza) from the song 'How to save a life' by The Fray. The continuation goes this way ...
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you begin to wonder why you came.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Then there was one 'Slaughter. Not hang'. It was for Saddam Hussein. According to me he should have been slaughtered so that it is in concord with the Islamic (shariyat) laws. Hanging was a wrong method adopted. Perhaps I can write something on this if I get something good to think on!
Even today's title and the last 2 ones have been taken from some songs. Yesterday's was from "Lips of an angel". The one before that was from "Savin' me". Today's too is from "Savin' me". Is it not funny?
Friday, January 12, 2007
I got to whisper as I can't be too loud
Today after fajar I went online for a little more than an hour. I logged into MSN messenger after a lot of time and found my cousin sister from Austin online. The last time I spoke to her was when she was in India in February 2006. We had a chat for about an hour in the morning. We renewed old things and recollected the days we had some years back.
When I was small I once asked her if she knew how to write poems. She said "yes". I was amazed that she could write and I also had told that it seems impossible to me to rhyme anything. Now, every time I write a poem I think about her. I told her about this. She told me that she remembers me whenever she does calligraphy.
It was she who taught me this art I cherish. She said she help her daughter with her school work and gets to do a lot of calligraphy. So, she said this way she remembers me every few days. I was flattered. She was closest to me in those days and she told me that I am always special for her. I didn't know how to respond. I smiled. I meant that smile - the smiley :) and also the one I had on my lips when I was keying those 2 characters.
My friend who celebrated his birthday on Sunday wanted to give a small treat to some friends he missed out. So, he took us out to have ice creams at Snowies. I had 'Chocolate Yummy' there. I reached home at 4:20 pm after that.
In the evening I was busy with my cousin sister who visited our house. My parents were not at home so I was talking to her. Then I turned on the computer and logged into yahoo messenger. My friend started a chat and told me that the result of the last semester were out and he added the word 'mubarak'. I was confused. I was surrounded by my niece and nephew and wasn't able to type anything. I took a break from them to learn that I scored 68.4%. I don't know how exactly I feel now. Perhaps ambivalent.
It was my father's birthday today. I wished him a little late - at 12:30 pm when I was in the college. In the evening we had a small party kind of thing and we got food from outside. I had tandoori chicken, butter chicken and biryaani. Then my parents went to my cousin's house to drop her back. Her husband is in Behrain and she is staying here alone with her children.
Today I was thinking about how different every family is. Right form the way they live, eat, dress and sleep. I tried to wonder how my niece and nephew feel about their other cousins who again are my niece and nephews. I tried to put myself in their place. I felt that I am better off with the cousins I have. I am happy with the sent of aunts and uncles I have. I am glad to be where I am now. I can't imagine taking any other person's shoes.
Though this can be a good thing for me, it's really not that good. Being this way means that I didn't learn how to adjust with different atmospheres. perhaps I don't like changes to happen with and around me. May be I am obsessed to the way things are now. This will meant hat it will hurt me a lot when things will no more be the way they are now. I am confused.
Yes ... I know. Today I am confused. I need to be either logged in or logged out of the commitment I am thinking of. I don't know what to do. It looks as if I won't get what I am asking for. Some people seem to be so far. I was wondering if there is some way that can let me know what is right - to stay determined or to give up. Sometimes even refusing to give up can be a mistake. I need to destroy somethings before they destroy me. I am attempting to destroy a hope. I try it even when I am reluctant to do so.
Most of my friends scored more than me. I am happy for them. I don't know if I am frank with what I am writing but I wished I never had to see my marks. Not because they would be less. Just because they would be more than what I deserve. I was supposed to fail in one subject. At a time when getting 30 in that subject (Microprocessor Systems and Interfacing) seemed impossible, I got 55. How do I give solace to my conscience? What face will I how to Allah? I feel so ashamed.
When I was small I once asked her if she knew how to write poems. She said "yes". I was amazed that she could write and I also had told that it seems impossible to me to rhyme anything. Now, every time I write a poem I think about her. I told her about this. She told me that she remembers me whenever she does calligraphy.
It was she who taught me this art I cherish. She said she help her daughter with her school work and gets to do a lot of calligraphy. So, she said this way she remembers me every few days. I was flattered. She was closest to me in those days and she told me that I am always special for her. I didn't know how to respond. I smiled. I meant that smile - the smiley :) and also the one I had on my lips when I was keying those 2 characters.
My friend who celebrated his birthday on Sunday wanted to give a small treat to some friends he missed out. So, he took us out to have ice creams at Snowies. I had 'Chocolate Yummy' there. I reached home at 4:20 pm after that.
In the evening I was busy with my cousin sister who visited our house. My parents were not at home so I was talking to her. Then I turned on the computer and logged into yahoo messenger. My friend started a chat and told me that the result of the last semester were out and he added the word 'mubarak'. I was confused. I was surrounded by my niece and nephew and wasn't able to type anything. I took a break from them to learn that I scored 68.4%. I don't know how exactly I feel now. Perhaps ambivalent.
It was my father's birthday today. I wished him a little late - at 12:30 pm when I was in the college. In the evening we had a small party kind of thing and we got food from outside. I had tandoori chicken, butter chicken and biryaani. Then my parents went to my cousin's house to drop her back. Her husband is in Behrain and she is staying here alone with her children.
Today I was thinking about how different every family is. Right form the way they live, eat, dress and sleep. I tried to wonder how my niece and nephew feel about their other cousins who again are my niece and nephews. I tried to put myself in their place. I felt that I am better off with the cousins I have. I am happy with the sent of aunts and uncles I have. I am glad to be where I am now. I can't imagine taking any other person's shoes.
Though this can be a good thing for me, it's really not that good. Being this way means that I didn't learn how to adjust with different atmospheres. perhaps I don't like changes to happen with and around me. May be I am obsessed to the way things are now. This will meant hat it will hurt me a lot when things will no more be the way they are now. I am confused.
Yes ... I know. Today I am confused. I need to be either logged in or logged out of the commitment I am thinking of. I don't know what to do. It looks as if I won't get what I am asking for. Some people seem to be so far. I was wondering if there is some way that can let me know what is right - to stay determined or to give up. Sometimes even refusing to give up can be a mistake. I need to destroy somethings before they destroy me. I am attempting to destroy a hope. I try it even when I am reluctant to do so.
Most of my friends scored more than me. I am happy for them. I don't know if I am frank with what I am writing but I wished I never had to see my marks. Not because they would be less. Just because they would be more than what I deserve. I was supposed to fail in one subject. At a time when getting 30 in that subject (Microprocessor Systems and Interfacing) seemed impossible, I got 55. How do I give solace to my conscience? What face will I how to Allah? I feel so ashamed.
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