I let it go today

I felt a bit feverish today evening. But I know it was not fever though my legs were feeling as if something was trying to force them burst. I thought of pressing them with my hands but left it for the tablet to do the work from inside. I am absolutely fine now but sleepy. I have got lots of writing work to do... I couldn't even start writing on the technology blog I wanted to, and started thinking on the next posting for Flowing Emotions but didn't start drafting it. I got a soft copy of "The Virtus of Selfishness" by Ayn Rand. I started reading it but I guess this is not something I can read directly from the screen - I will have to get the hard copy ... I better get a printout of it someday.

I am so tired !

I think I should be feeling relaxed now as I am free with my holidays finally starting, but I am very tired. I couldn't sleep yesterday night and even today I had lots of time with friends and doing nothing at home. Of course I went to a party today which was very boring too as there was no chicken in the menu! It was like a world without ..... I think my friend has already use the continuation of this sentence as a status message for his Yahoo messenger so I don't think I should write it here. The continuation is of the type that may make anyone think of me as a $#&^%@* ... :D . They will be wrong if they do that. I am trying to change the topic thats currently disturbing my peace of mind, making me feel like crying. ... But I am doing great and I am happy - this is how I am supposed to be. Right?

I even wanted to start a new blog today but I don't think I'll be able to it now. God-willing I'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow I will also start drafting a new post for Flowing Emotions. This will be the one that will complete one of my quotes on my Hi5 profile. In this particular posting I will definitely try to make myself more transparent a person and put forth my lucid views on life. But this thing is definitey going to take some time - maybe 2 days or more. I hope hope I will be clear enough for everybody to understand and powerfull enough for everybody to remember.

I have planned many things for these holidays but if I can even complete half of them I will be very happy with myself.

I have also installed IE 7 Beta 2 on my system. So, testing that is going to be real fun. Hope that will give me another topic to write on ;) .

One more to go ... tomorrow

Tomorrow I heve my lab external and that will be the last one. I pray to God I do this well and score good marks. After that I have holidays of almost 2 months. So once tomorrow's xam is finished I will never have to skip any updates or write shorter ones!

Tomorrow I plan to start a new blog where I will be writing about new technologies being developed and also the ones already in use. Hope this things is more interesting than the others. Even Flowing Emotions is waiting for an update - I should attend to that too!

Happiness is a state of mind ... regardless of the external disturbances!!!

Beside a world-class Imax screen's multiplex I saw a small make-shift fair that was sporting local good's sales and stall owners of lower-middle class; all this in a posh locality surrounding the famous Hussain Sagar. This was annoying. Not because of the "class" thig but because of the way my city, Hyderabad, is being presented to the people coming from other places. I wouldn't comment more on this fearing that I may endup sounding like a corporate personality, but I assume I am not wrong in disliking the idea of mixing up of venues meant for specific standards.

I had been with my parents for a casual and regular outing as today was Sunday. We had a pleasant time except for the alergic dust that was irritating me. I guess I sneezed for tens of times. And I know I made my sneezes catch many eyes around. It was terrible and terrific - terrible because sneezing tires me a lot, and terrific because I was enjoying it :D . I believe every experience is for either enjoying or leaning. And I was doing one of them here!

In the afternoon I read a motivational book by Zig Ziglar. It was good learning somethings again. I have quite a few books yet to be completed. And not to forget the titles I have already to get into my brain. Perhaps I must be spending a little less time on the internet and get along more with books. I wish I could give time for both.

Yesterday, as I have already mentioned about in the last update here, I had a lengthy talk with my friend, and I remember vividly that he said I am the most unlucky person he has met. Well buddy this is for you (I thought of writing a personal letter to you but I suppose its okay for me to share it openly) --- "I am probably the most lucky person I have met in my life. I couldn't have asked for better parents. Not to forget the religion I belong to. My parents have raised themselves from some sort of 'less-than-middleclass' to a 'better-than-middleclass' position - so here I got to see bad times too that have made me understand and learn so much. I can tell lengthy things on this but I hope you can understand what actually I want to convey. If I look back to what my parents were 10 years back, I would wonder how long they have walked to be here. I was lucky to see all this, not everybody gets a chance of this kind... The relatives I have got - they are so many and I never saw any conflicts. I see so many families around who fight for petty things and many times for property. I am lucky, no one in my very large family allowed these kind of things to trouble us. Furthermore, everytime I meet with any of my relative, I feel that I have reduced a little more distance between us. Not everybody has this kind of peace of mind... My parents have given me so much of freedom. They have provided me with every necessity and many luxuries. Somany don't get to enjoy all this... I have so many friends. I can't even count them. Then I have my very good friends. I never had these kind of friends before and I know that no matter where we are 2 years from now, I am never going to forget them. Not everybody gets good friends... These are just a few thigs I have presented buddy, there are several more and I don't think I can even count them. Actually I don't want to. I just thank my God for everything He has given, even the ones whose worth I haven't recognised yet... BUT I would like to tell you one thing that may really end or atleast dilute the concept of being 'lucky'. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LUCK; ITS ALL GOD'S WISH. ... I am in no way unlucky. It is God's wish that has given me what I have and I thank Him for that. He has been too kind toward me and I can't pay him back." :)

Please never use that word for me. I am talking about 'me'. :) Read the title once ... :)

Hiii ...

Today I worked on my Dad's website for his school. www.zehrahs.s5.com and zehrahs.googlepages.com . I have created 2 of them - on freeservers and googlepages. Two because freeservers fecilitates shorter name extensions but introduces advertisements (for starters there are no adverts for the first few days though), and googlepages because it is more flexible and has no adverts but has a larger name extension. It will depend on my dad on what he likes to keep. He hasn't seen it yet, so the decision is pending :) .

Today I spent a few hours with a friend and had lengthy discussions on MBD education and business concepts, and scope in various fields available of MBA students. It was rather a serious talk supplemented with cheeky jokes on people with smaller or no visions. I think this is a good topic for me to write on. I can definitely get more ideas on this and project how people waste themselves by working for multi-national companies that use them as a cheaper labor. I will get to this after finding more supportive material!

Then there were 2 blog postings by the same friend. I think he needs a dose that can make him an open person. I still feel he is a pessimist. Hope he understand what I mean to say. "Let there be light in your heart my friend - the one that makes you ..." whatever ... !!!

2 poems

I wrote 2 poems today. One on a little girl and the other on a mosquito! It was really interesting, a new experience, writing on topis like these. I hope I can do more of such kinds. Short poems are a bit tough to write as describing anything in lesser works requires a bit of extra thinking. May be for the first time I made corrections and modifications to a poem.

The reaction to my poem on a cute litle girl, by a friend, was really hilarious. I enjoyed what he said but I don't think that was good. But anyways he was joking.

I need assistance !

Really felt bad for not being to update for 2 continous days. The day before yesterday I was of course studying, and yesterday I had lengthy chats with some people so I was too tired to think anything and write. Not to mention the tiring day I had coupled with long hours of keeping myself awake.

I think, starting from tuesday afternoon till yesterday evening, I had more than a litre of coffee, and cold coffee for that metter. It was supposed to keep me awake and it surely did!

Since yesterday I've been feeling something incomplete and I cant understand why I should be that way because now that my exams are over I must be more relaxed. I guess that feeling passes away quickly.

I spent most of the day today sleeping and the on the internet. I am really looking for more things I can do to make my web pages more bigger, both - in number and size.

I finally removed my beard yesterday morning. It took a bit more time than usual and I gave myself a smile after the shave I had. I had done it after 15 days and it didnt make me feel anything different. I was being bombarded with many comments at home particularly and I decided to stop them.

Yesterday was my last day with some of my friends. I will meet them again only after the colleges start. I know I am going to miss the college life for the coming days. Its really tiring staying at home, all alone, sitting in front of the computer and typing. I know the later part is of my interest but the former thing is tizzy. I hope I enjoy my days and learn more of life!

I have an assignment given to me by my dad. I have to build a site for his schools and I have chosen freeservers.com for it. They provide shorter name extensions for free web hosting services. I was thinking of creating the pages on Dreamweaver and uploading them but I suppose this is not the right chance to do experiments. Its better off done using the builtin sitebuilder.

Letely I've been confused with what among the two is more important for us - people or the relationships we have with people. I have long back in one of my blog postings written that more than people it is the relation that is more important. But I think I have made a mistake with that. Or probably not. I request anyone with something more on this to direct me or I can say "correct me".

I also want some help regarding the blogging I am into. I understand blogs are the lowest level of sharing information and self-expressing. I prefer having a dedicated site for myself - one that has direct access and not through some other provider's interface. I have asked my cousin for help. He lives in England and has been into outsourcing consultancy. He said he will help me and also review my articles. I hope something good happens this time.

And yeah I got a comment on Flowing Emotions through blogsrater.com. The person is of the opinion that my blogs are disjoint and rambling. He is annoyed with what he read in "Why I hate Harry Potter". I wonder how he can rate my blog by just spending 18 minutes on it and giving 4 page views. There are more than 20,000 words in my blog and that person has checked them all in just 18 minutes and 4 pages. Interestingly impossible. He blames my small age as the reason for writing badly. Cool!

But I know I might not be good enough for writing anything, but I want to, and I welcome any help. I need to know my mistakes and I want to learn how to correct them. I want assistance!

Just don't feel like today ...

I do have several things to write but I will it them tomorrow. I simply don't feel like doing it now.....I will be back.

Thank God for everything

Again I couldnt update this space yesterday and the reason was same again - I was studying for my exam.

The exam was just fine and I dont think I can say much on that. When the marks are out they will speak for themselves. But the book I studied from was really hopeless.

Two of my friend met with an accident today. Though it was not very serious, one of them was a bit badly hurt. He is fine now thank God.

Today I created another webpage and this is a small experiment for hosting softwares and e-books on my site. I hope this works fine....but i am really confused abt wat kind of material i should b having here. I should b looking out for things that r not easily available on the net and may b useful in sumway. Not breaking any piracy rules is also a consideration. Lets see!

Anyways my beard is still growing and I didnt like my dad calling me with names like Imran Hashmi and Himesh sumthing. I am Zubair and i love my name (Zubair. Smile wen u use it :) ).

I have one more xam to go now and I pray I do it well. But the feeling of staying at home for a long time during holidays is pretty uncomfortable. I wonder how I am going to stay not meeting my friends.

Not to mention .... well, .... then lets not mention it !!!

Yes, I am back.

I couldnt post an update yesterday as i was too busy with my studies. I donno if i should say this but i really worked hard for it. I slept for less than 2 hours at night and now its 11:10 pm 0f 15th and i havent slept again after waking up at 5:30 in the morning.

The xam was ok and i think i should get decent marks. But my plan of making it big in these externals is not going the way i wanted it to. I have 2 more to go and i really pray i do them well. I understand i didnt work for the whole of semister and no matter wat i do now it will b very less in regards to wat is required. I really dont know if i can help it but i know i am responsible for every single act i commit and every single reaction that occurs.

I went to receive my cousin sister today as she returned from a holiday in Saudi Arabia. It was really nice to see her again after many days. I was happy that i could meet her cos shez again leaving for Gulbarga tomorrow. God-willing we will meet in my summer vacation. My meeting with 'fanno' too was welcome !

For the past few days i simply allowed my beard to grow. I donno if it really looks like a beard but i find everybody asking "are u growing a beard?". Well my answer is "i am not growing any beard. Its just happening by itself and i am not at all pushing for it. Seriously!" ... Well...i know this is a casual and a joking reply,... i just wanted to see how i may look with that thing on my face and i think i look terrible with it.(I welcome any comments on this as i know more than me others are going to see my face!) Anyways i plan to shave it on Monday or Wednsday (now no superstition in the selection of days please!).

I have my 4th xam on Monday and i again have plans to go for the maximum i can but i do know that watever i do wont b maximum. I hope i am not discouraged and dssappointed by myself this time.

I just feel like saying sumthing now. I dont know wat xactly is prompting me but ... its just a small thing and very much obvious --- i really love every single person i have in my life at this present moment and i am ready to do anything for that person. but i fear losing him/her. I pray to God for keeping everybody happy. ... I am very happy for any reason i may hav unknown to myself. Its just a feeling i am trying to keep inside of me but i know it will definitely b reflectd in watevr i do or say. (the word 'love' i hav used here means a lot so please respect its meaning in respective senses.)

Okay...i know i am getting touchy again.. so i better stop it here and save a few 'emotions' for the days to come. :D Have a good time. :)

Not much for today

I did nothing really productive today except for another page that I added to my new website.

I thought of starting the study for Saturday's xam but didn't really feel like doing it. I hope tomorrow I will be able to do the complete thing the way I want to. God-willing obviously!

It was really nice to know that my cousine has started a blog and is posting religious articles on it. I really appreciate his work and will be in regular touch with it.