I am finally done with the article that I would be submitting to compete for the post of editor to the MJ communique. I had to do a lot of thinking this time given that there was a limit of 250 words. Still I went beyond 325! All I hope is that nobody else writes anything better than this, and I am selected. God-willing.
Today I missed my first class - in the morning. It was because of the rain; it was raining too heavily near my house and as it was cold, I was feeling like staying inside the blanket for even longer. I started from home a little before 10 am and my father dropped me almost half way up to the college.
In the afternoon I didnt attend the scheduled lab. To the best of my knowledge nobody did. It would be too disturbing for me if I come to know that somebody has attended and attendance was taken. Already had such experiences before.
I went along with 7 friends of mine to Eat Street. We had quite a many things there - nuggets, burger, ice cream and some 'chaat'. Then we played 'Truth n Dare'. I can't explain how much fun it was. One of my friends went to 3 people individually and told them that he is mad - this was the dare given to him. Another friend went to a couple sitting nearby and asked them boldly "what are you doing here?" Perhaps they understood that we were just playing and they were fine. He even took a pic of their's using their cell phone. Another friend went and asked the name of some girl sitting a little far away. I laughed a lot today.
I reached home at 5:30 pm. I had some of the lunch I had taken to college and then a chicken roll as my dinner. I dont know but I think I will eat something more before getting to sleep.
Just after we returned from Eat Street to the college, one of my friends forcibly took some money from me ('some' would be less actually; it was more than some). He, and another friend, held me tightly, put a hand into my pocket and took out my wallet. It was like being robbed. As far as the money was concerned I didnt mind anything, but I didnt like the way they took it from me. I was made useless by the force they had put on me! It could have been done in much better ways. I will talk to him tomorrow about this and will tell him that I didnt like it. I am sure he didnt mean to hurt me. He is my friend - I dont think I am hurt - just thatI didnt like it.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Nothing much today
I had a class for English Usage today and it was equally good - like tomorrow. I came back home around 1 pm and after some snacks I jumped into bed to wake up at 3:30 pm I had my first proper meal of the day at 4 pm. After that I have been eating something or the other every now and then. Had lots of biryani too.
I the evening I did a lot of reading. I had to write some article for college and I was saerching for the right mood to happen to me. It did happen but it was too late. I will write something tomorrow. The biggest problem is that the word limit is 250 words!
I also had a chat with a friend where we discussed a lot on body language and facial expressions.
I the evening I did a lot of reading. I had to write some article for college and I was saerching for the right mood to happen to me. It did happen but it was too late. I will write something tomorrow. The biggest problem is that the word limit is 250 words!
I also had a chat with a friend where we discussed a lot on body language and facial expressions.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
The title is a quote by Elbert Hubbard. I have subscribed to a newslatter from about.com and they keep sending me something interesting every week. This Saturday it was quotes by Elbert Hubbard.
I arrived home 9:10 pm today after the class at CL. It was about reading comprehension and it was one of the best classes I have attended till date. I have assessed my reading speed as 155 words per minute at that particular moment, with that particular mood, with those five 600 to 900 word essays. By the time I get ready to write CAT, I need to have my speed around 350 i guess. Even if it is not necessary, I know I can make it - I wnat to actually. Its a satisfaction in itself. I need to be more good at comprehension.
Evertime I attend some class at CL I feel as if I have dome something very significant - even when its a very small things. It makes me feel that I have spent some productive time - learnt something that will give me a better shape - even when its just something related to maths!
It was around 12:30 am in the morning (night) that I decided to attend the college to be there at the program being conducted for 29 Saturdays starting form today. We were not informed about this yesterday in the class but somehow I came to know that it was mandatory to attend and I attended. It is regarding campus interviews. We would be taught about how to get through the campus interviews and selection processes. Today we had lectures on GD and PI. We even had a mock GD and a mockPI. It is necessary that we all attend at least 20 of such Saturdays to be eligible for campus interviews.
I am seriously not interested in any campus placements but still I will try to attend as many of them I find possible for me. There is always something to learn even if I dont like what is being said or taught. At least I will learn to endure something I am not interested in. But I dont think I will find myself learning endurance in the lectures ... things like these have always excited me. Just that the purpose or the objective of this complete program is something I am not interested in!
I arrived home 9:10 pm today after the class at CL. It was about reading comprehension and it was one of the best classes I have attended till date. I have assessed my reading speed as 155 words per minute at that particular moment, with that particular mood, with those five 600 to 900 word essays. By the time I get ready to write CAT, I need to have my speed around 350 i guess. Even if it is not necessary, I know I can make it - I wnat to actually. Its a satisfaction in itself. I need to be more good at comprehension.
Evertime I attend some class at CL I feel as if I have dome something very significant - even when its a very small things. It makes me feel that I have spent some productive time - learnt something that will give me a better shape - even when its just something related to maths!
It was around 12:30 am in the morning (night) that I decided to attend the college to be there at the program being conducted for 29 Saturdays starting form today. We were not informed about this yesterday in the class but somehow I came to know that it was mandatory to attend and I attended. It is regarding campus interviews. We would be taught about how to get through the campus interviews and selection processes. Today we had lectures on GD and PI. We even had a mock GD and a mockPI. It is necessary that we all attend at least 20 of such Saturdays to be eligible for campus interviews.
I am seriously not interested in any campus placements but still I will try to attend as many of them I find possible for me. There is always something to learn even if I dont like what is being said or taught. At least I will learn to endure something I am not interested in. But I dont think I will find myself learning endurance in the lectures ... things like these have always excited me. Just that the purpose or the objective of this complete program is something I am not interested in!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Here I am
I was thinking of some title for today's post and the song 'here I am' by Brian Adams started in the head phones which are in my ears now, so I thought of having this as the title - simply.
I had my dinner late today - actually sitting in front of the television. I watched some video related to network marketing by some very famous person working with Network21. It was real fun to see him speak along with a translator who was translating all his words and sentences in hindi. I havent finished with the full video yet; it is of 2 CDs and I have watched just 34 minutes of the first one. I have lost the patience to sit in front of the television for long even if it a very interesting show I got the CDs from my uncle.
I even completed one of my lab records tday. I was thinking that it would take me a lot of time for finishing but to my surprise i finished it in a little less than an hour. I was glad that it was finally over; if i had known that it was so small, then i would have finished it long back. It was my friend's record that gave me the essential help. I was listenign to music as I was writing.
Today I withdrew what I had sent 2 days back. I simply have no idea if that has made any difference but I am definitely feeling a little relieved that I wont be waiting for anything now. But still, I dont feel right about it. Will take some time for me to forget it. But i will forget it.
Perhaps a rejection would have made things easier for me.
I had my dinner late today - actually sitting in front of the television. I watched some video related to network marketing by some very famous person working with Network21. It was real fun to see him speak along with a translator who was translating all his words and sentences in hindi. I havent finished with the full video yet; it is of 2 CDs and I have watched just 34 minutes of the first one. I have lost the patience to sit in front of the television for long even if it a very interesting show I got the CDs from my uncle.
I even completed one of my lab records tday. I was thinking that it would take me a lot of time for finishing but to my surprise i finished it in a little less than an hour. I was glad that it was finally over; if i had known that it was so small, then i would have finished it long back. It was my friend's record that gave me the essential help. I was listenign to music as I was writing.
Today I withdrew what I had sent 2 days back. I simply have no idea if that has made any difference but I am definitely feeling a little relieved that I wont be waiting for anything now. But still, I dont feel right about it. Will take some time for me to forget it. But i will forget it.
Perhaps a rejection would have made things easier for me.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Ache in my head
I didnt wish to bunck any class today but when I found that my lab record was in no way like I had wanted it to be, I lost that wish. I didnt go to the lab cos I didnt like to submit the record that way. I came home at around 4:30 pm. Wanted to talk to some friends but I guess I will do it tomorrow (today, now).
The time I am spending on orkut is increasing everyday. I found many of my old friends there and I guess it is better to scrap there than chat in yahoo messenger.
The time I am spending on orkut is increasing everyday. I found many of my old friends there and I guess it is better to scrap there than chat in yahoo messenger.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Good and evil
A friend of mine seems to have some problem with me - he wants to define the differences between good and bad even when i told him that it is better off as good and evil http://wahfais.blogspot.com He will take some lessons from me very soon.
I had a better day today. We left the college early without attending the afternoon class and I spent a lot of time on the internet especially with orkut. I had been thinking of adding somebody and even my friends have asked me to go ahead with it but I am still afraid. Seems to be a joke ... I have a keyboard in my hands which is mightier not just than a sword but a tank and I am afraid of making a few clicks with my mouse. Actually, the mouse must be a little weaker. :D
I haven't read my friend's post completely even till now. I had chats with many people on orkut and even on yahoo messenger. I didn't get the time and the right mood. I was preoccupied with some other thoughts!
I had a better day today. We left the college early without attending the afternoon class and I spent a lot of time on the internet especially with orkut. I had been thinking of adding somebody and even my friends have asked me to go ahead with it but I am still afraid. Seems to be a joke ... I have a keyboard in my hands which is mightier not just than a sword but a tank and I am afraid of making a few clicks with my mouse. Actually, the mouse must be a little weaker. :D
I haven't read my friend's post completely even till now. I had chats with many people on orkut and even on yahoo messenger. I didn't get the time and the right mood. I was preoccupied with some other thoughts!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Nothing much for today
I didnt do anything more than going to the class at CL. Rest of the time i spent silently in front of my computer and on the bed reading and thinking.
I asked my father to take us for some outing but my brother had to study so we stayed indoors.
I asked my father to take us for some outing but my brother had to study so we stayed indoors.
Saturday, September 9, 2006
Today afternoon and evening I wasn't me
I had only one class in the college today but I was there till 5 pm. I left home at 8:30 in the morning and was back at 9:10 in the evening.
The class I had in the college started at around 10:25 am. I went to the lab for print outs at 12:15 pm I guess and was there till 3:00 pm. I would have spent more time but there was a power failure. There were 4 sets of print outs I will along with a friend and we took around 200 pages for our work. It hasn't been completed yet. Till here my day was wonderful - full of happiness and cheer.
When I left the lab and was on the stairs I saw somebody sitting there with a friend. I kept my face bowed down as usual but this time I raised my eyes to have a look. That person had already turned the face away from me. That person knew I was there and wantedly didn't look at me. It seemed as if I am being ignored, dumped, hated ... it was hurting. I must learn how to keep my eyes to myself. Should I have not looked up at that person, I had been writing a jovial post today.
I sat behind the library with 2 of my friends and had kunch. I was not fine. Then we went to our football ground where some students of Mechanical department were constructing something like a helicpoter which they were terming as ... I don't remember, sorry. Without even telling my friend, I started moving towards some corner in the ground to sit there. They followed me. I simply can't write down the way I behaved there. I spoke what came to my mouth, I was playing with leaves, stones, ants, everything I could find around me. I was not conscious and not in control of myself. I was laughing but all the time I was afraid I would break into tears.
We sat there till 4:50 pm. My friends left me and I was alone. Perhaps lonely. I had my class at CL from 6:30 pm and it was hardly 5 pm now. I roamed around for some time. I dont know why I did that. I hope I would find someboday but also hoped that I dont get to see anybody.
Then I thought I should leave the college. I went to a near by busstand and stood there for sometime. I wanted to sit but there wasnt any place there. I went to 2 more busstands after that thinking that I would get some pleace to sit but all I got was some rest from the busstop's shelter columns. I had to pass time and it wasn't moving. Ther was nothing I could do. I think I felt that way.
I didnt go to CL because there again I would be alone till the class starts. Somehow I escaped those 70 minutes and I was at CL. I was very tired and was in no mood to concentrate in the class. Somehow I managed to participate in all the discussions and came back ome at 9:10 pm. My friend who is also my classmate there dropped me home else I would have reached home only at 10 pm.
My father had not parked the car properly so I had to take the weel in my hands after some weeks. I took it as a chance and drove for a few minutes. I took a turn in the dark streets of military area near my house. Then into Salarjung Colony and back to tolichowki speeding at 75kmph. I broke the rules today. I drove so fast with some havy flow of traffic. I hope nobody comes to know about this. I think I was feeling some anger when I was driving and it was evidnt from the force I was putting on the accelerator. I had the vehicle in my control no doubt. My father drives at 80 kmph sometimes.
I have been listening to slow songs since then.
The class I had in the college started at around 10:25 am. I went to the lab for print outs at 12:15 pm I guess and was there till 3:00 pm. I would have spent more time but there was a power failure. There were 4 sets of print outs I will along with a friend and we took around 200 pages for our work. It hasn't been completed yet. Till here my day was wonderful - full of happiness and cheer.
When I left the lab and was on the stairs I saw somebody sitting there with a friend. I kept my face bowed down as usual but this time I raised my eyes to have a look. That person had already turned the face away from me. That person knew I was there and wantedly didn't look at me. It seemed as if I am being ignored, dumped, hated ... it was hurting. I must learn how to keep my eyes to myself. Should I have not looked up at that person, I had been writing a jovial post today.
I sat behind the library with 2 of my friends and had kunch. I was not fine. Then we went to our football ground where some students of Mechanical department were constructing something like a helicpoter which they were terming as ... I don't remember, sorry. Without even telling my friend, I started moving towards some corner in the ground to sit there. They followed me. I simply can't write down the way I behaved there. I spoke what came to my mouth, I was playing with leaves, stones, ants, everything I could find around me. I was not conscious and not in control of myself. I was laughing but all the time I was afraid I would break into tears.
We sat there till 4:50 pm. My friends left me and I was alone. Perhaps lonely. I had my class at CL from 6:30 pm and it was hardly 5 pm now. I roamed around for some time. I dont know why I did that. I hope I would find someboday but also hoped that I dont get to see anybody.
Then I thought I should leave the college. I went to a near by busstand and stood there for sometime. I wanted to sit but there wasnt any place there. I went to 2 more busstands after that thinking that I would get some pleace to sit but all I got was some rest from the busstop's shelter columns. I had to pass time and it wasn't moving. Ther was nothing I could do. I think I felt that way.
I didnt go to CL because there again I would be alone till the class starts. Somehow I escaped those 70 minutes and I was at CL. I was very tired and was in no mood to concentrate in the class. Somehow I managed to participate in all the discussions and came back ome at 9:10 pm. My friend who is also my classmate there dropped me home else I would have reached home only at 10 pm.
My father had not parked the car properly so I had to take the weel in my hands after some weeks. I took it as a chance and drove for a few minutes. I took a turn in the dark streets of military area near my house. Then into Salarjung Colony and back to tolichowki speeding at 75kmph. I broke the rules today. I drove so fast with some havy flow of traffic. I hope nobody comes to know about this. I think I was feeling some anger when I was driving and it was evidnt from the force I was putting on the accelerator. I had the vehicle in my control no doubt. My father drives at 80 kmph sometimes.
I have been listening to slow songs since then.
Friday, September 8, 2006
It takes two to speak the truth. I don't have the other person to listen to it.
I am doing fine.
I don't want to live somewhere staying between being known and unknown, between visible and invisible, between being liked and disliked, between being spoken of and neglected, between being loved or hated. It is like hanging between the two ends of life that are defined as having life and also posessing it as one end and ... huh! what the heck ...
I do not know what I am doing and what I have done in the last 5 days. I am not getting the right person to talk to and express myself about this. And this blog is not the right place to do it. I want somebody who would talk back - blogs don't talk. But I also hope I never get such kind of a person. Its too much to handle. Actually the truth is that I don't deserve to have anybody like that because I don't think I can be the same kind of person for that person. I don't think I can myself listen to things I want to share now. So when that person has something like this to share I may not be willing to accept it. All this would be because I may not be loving that person. It is necessary that I love that person.
There are in two ways that the title of today's post is applicable to me. I will write down the first way. In relation to the previous paragraph, when I have something to say and when I don't find anybody - even if what I want to say is a big truth and it is necessary that it is said - it hurts. So I have no way to let the truth out. I can well write it here on the blog. But as I have already said, blogs don't speak.
Bottom line: The first line of today's post has no integrity. I don't say it's wrong. It just lacks intgrity.
I don't want to live somewhere staying between being known and unknown, between visible and invisible, between being liked and disliked, between being spoken of and neglected, between being loved or hated. It is like hanging between the two ends of life that are defined as having life and also posessing it as one end and ... huh! what the heck ...
I do not know what I am doing and what I have done in the last 5 days. I am not getting the right person to talk to and express myself about this. And this blog is not the right place to do it. I want somebody who would talk back - blogs don't talk. But I also hope I never get such kind of a person. Its too much to handle. Actually the truth is that I don't deserve to have anybody like that because I don't think I can be the same kind of person for that person. I don't think I can myself listen to things I want to share now. So when that person has something like this to share I may not be willing to accept it. All this would be because I may not be loving that person. It is necessary that I love that person.
There are in two ways that the title of today's post is applicable to me. I will write down the first way. In relation to the previous paragraph, when I have something to say and when I don't find anybody - even if what I want to say is a big truth and it is necessary that it is said - it hurts. So I have no way to let the truth out. I can well write it here on the blog. But as I have already said, blogs don't speak.
Bottom line: The first line of today's post has no integrity. I don't say it's wrong. It just lacks intgrity.
Thursday, September 7, 2006
Oops... ... ...
I just lost the idea that I had to update this blog. Its already 1:15 am now and I suppose this is not the right time for them to write - I am feelilng dead sleepy.
Yesterday I was cut off from teh internet as there was some mingling of the cables with some ganeesh procession! Its back now and I am glad it is. I posted the article I had written yestday night and it was something I had to think several times before publishing it. For those who may questions my intentions, there is only one thing I would like to say - I am not a sadist or a masochist.
Since yesterday my keyboard had been giving some problems. I was getting disconnected from its receiver. It has a small button that pairs with the one on the receiver and it was getting connected back again after I was pressing them simultaneously. Today I realised that it was time for me to change its batterries. I have been using the some ones - Duracell - since September 14th, 2004. Amazing capacity!... and of course - keyboard is mightier than sword!
Not bad - I think this is big enough to be called as an update!
Yesterday I was cut off from teh internet as there was some mingling of the cables with some ganeesh procession! Its back now and I am glad it is. I posted the article I had written yestday night and it was something I had to think several times before publishing it. For those who may questions my intentions, there is only one thing I would like to say - I am not a sadist or a masochist.
Since yesterday my keyboard had been giving some problems. I was getting disconnected from its receiver. It has a small button that pairs with the one on the receiver and it was getting connected back again after I was pressing them simultaneously. Today I realised that it was time for me to change its batterries. I have been using the some ones - Duracell - since September 14th, 2004. Amazing capacity!... and of course - keyboard is mightier than sword!
Not bad - I think this is big enough to be called as an update!
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