And Then...

'But I don't want to go among mad people,' remarked Alice.

'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat, 'we're all mad here. You're mad.'

'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. 

'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'

- Alice's Adventures In Wonderland

Gone are the days when I used to start typing, go on for paragraphs after paragraphs and still have so much to share. Now, I need to be diplomatic, choose my words carefully and be sure of who might end up reading them. I always wanted to write for myself but that has hardly been the case. I end up having at least one person in my mind most of the times when I write. I would think words came natural to me. At least that isn't the case anymore. And no more do I ask anybody personally to read any of my blogs; apparently I even avoid talking about it. There are occasions I wish I could go back and delete some very old posts. But I need to stand up for them; not that I regret anything, I just don't like them.

It always gives me a feeling of being protected when I talk to my father's friend who lives here in Dallas. Alhamdulillah these days I get to meet and talk to him more frequently. Knowing that he is there for me gives warmth. I had met him for the first time a couple of years back at an uncle's place. He has been my father's and uncles' friend since their childhood. A year back when my father told him I was planning to study in America, he had asked me to meet him in Dallas. That day, I still remember, I wondered if I would really meet him or, I even thought, why he was telling me that. Today I know he is one of my closest people here and a person I look up to. He has been living in America for more than 31  years now.

Just around last year I had not even a bit of imagination of how things were going to be after a year. There were few things that mattered to me and I was worried about getting admits from good universities and a visa. I had not even imagined who I would be staying with, who all I would meet and spend my time with, who would become so dear to me and who would start making a difference to my life. I have made tens of friends here, got close to many distant relatives and made some of them a priority. It's been said we don't learn much unless we travel a lot. I just want this to be a start. I have many more people to meet, lots more to learn and a few things to forget.