Sweeter

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

- Eden Ahbez

I passed my road test for driving license on Friday morning. I had to be at the DPS office before 7 am with my aunt who took me there. After waiting in the queue for a long time an African American lady took my test. She was very polite and ignored a couple of small errors I made. I had not come to a dead stop at one of the stop signs and didn't slow down enough at a right turn that had no lights controlling it. She did point out my mistakes and asked me to be careful. I thank Allah so much for all this and everything. I take my driving license as a big achievement I have made here in America.

Some times I end up having myself reminding to me that I am in America. It's looks so much like home frequently. And there are times I feel terribly sad and lonely. I feel like going back to my parents, spending a day with them and come back here. There are times when I talk to some of my friends I end up asking them if we could meet at least for a while and get back to our lives again after that. But all along when I think of such a thing I know I don't mean it. Even if that were possible, it's illogical. I just love them so much I can't resist doing this wishful thinking. I was so glad and happy when my friend who got married a few days back called me up. It was a little before 4 am when I was sleeping when she called. Though I could recognize her voice I asked her if it was her because I couldn't believe I was talking to her. It was great talking to her husband too. I thank Allah and pray they both find peace in both the worlds.

I returned from a barbecue party sometime back. It was at my second cousin's house here in Houston. The party was hosted by him and my first cousin. There were several of their common friends and though I was never a part of their conversations I enjoyed being with them, listening to them and learning from them about them. For the first time I ate something which doesn't come under the Zabiha bracket but was still Halaal. It was Kosher hot dogs. Alhamdullillah Allah has made everything so simple and easy for us that there are options to choose from in every context of life we get to live in. There were around 25 to 30 guys who attended the party and they included Indians, Pakistanis, Americans, Egyptians and other Arabs as well - all of them my cousins' friends. We had lots of fun.

Last week I attended a protest rally which stood in front of the Israeli consulate in downtown Houston against the attack on Palestine. I could fire up a huge topic on what's going on all over the world, how Jews are controlling world politics, how India is doing it all wrong, RSS, BJP, terrorist attacks in India all carried out by Hindus, Gujrat, Pakistan and Kashmir. It's all burning within me these days. My perspectives have changed since I have come here. All we Indians are just frogs in the well not knowing the truth or simply refusing to understand it. Now that when I see things from a distance, I get to see the whole picture and see who is doing what. I am in support of Pakistan and I don't fear calling Israel the axis of evil. May Allah bless all my Muslim brothers and sisters all over the world, bring peace to everybody and protect us from all sorts of evils even we can't imagine but Allah is aware of.

A few days back I went to watch the movie 'Benjamin Button' to a theatre here in Houston with a cousin and his friend who was here from Chicago. I liked the movie though found it something very different and amusing. I had seen quite a few movies since I came here to Houston. We have been using my laptop and a projector to watch these movies in big size on a wall in the living room. It gives a great experience. The other day I watched 'Get Smart'. There were few more before that.

I had seriously been wanting to spend some of my time with my cousin sister in Austin. After so much of planning and timing, we finally decided that she would come down to Houston with her family for the next weekend inshAllah. I would be waiting for that. I am pretty much relaxed now that I have my driving license with me. When I get back to Dallas one of my first priorities would be to get in touch with some people there, find ways to make things easier and if necessary buy a car inshAllah. Alhamdulillah things have been going very well though not like how I had planned when I was back in India. I have seen better and bigger things than I had thought and imagined and I am pretty sure there is more to come. InshAllah. There is just something going on at home in Hyderabad and I pray to Allah I get to hear everything very positive at the earliest. I pray for everybody's happiness.

I try my best to stay in contact with as many people as possible though it is not always in my hands to be as I would ideally want myself to be. Lately I have found myself getting slightly critical about a few people and thinking about them is turning me away from them. It's not just about a single such person, it's more than that. I am trying my best to be how a responsible Muslim should be but still it's not easy to control my heart. I keep falling in love daily with people I already love. But when I look at some people through the rules set on us by Allah, I do find them incorrect in many ways one of which includes 'being indifferent'. I pray to Allah that He guides me onto the right path. It's love I want to be made of.