Sunday, October 15, 2006

Nothing ever happens ... and I wonder


Yesterday I had written that I feel as if its been long since I had a chat with anybody. Today my uncle called me up and asked me to come online. We had chat but it was on MSN and not on Yahoo! But that was the only chat I had. Today is the first day that I didn't get any mail in my gmail inbox. Since the day I have started using it from my home, its 10 months now, I have been getting mails every day - mails that are not spams, mails that have been sent by somebody. Today I got nothing. It happens ... sometimes. Since 2 days I didn't get a scrap on orkut too. It happens .. sometimes .. simply. But I don't know why it happens!

From tomorrow I have my 2nd internals starting. I studied for sometime but still have a lot more to do. Presently I have a terrible head ache and I feel sleepy. It has been a dull day today with all sorts of thoughts running in my mind. InshAllah I will study something before I go to sleep and also in the morning.

One of the 2 subjects for which I have tests tomorrow is interesting. I like to read the topics covered in the book. But things are limited to the interest and though I like reading it, I don't feeling like learning it. That's the biggest problem I have with my studies presently. I like the subjects, I like reading them, but I don't like studying them. I just have the eagerness to know how things work, but unfortunately I don't like to learn them. Somehow I need to manage.

For the last few days my post have been becoming too serious and emotional. I wish I could make a resolution of not mentioning anything serious here; a decision to stop writing about a few things. But this place is meant for me to relieve myself of all those things. It's like I sit in front of somebody and speak out everything and that person listens to me without questioning me back. And everybody likes that.

Friday evening I did go out for shopping. My father took us. I bought 3 shirts and 2 trousers. I took a lot of time selecting them and it is something normal for me. Whenever I go out for shopping, I don't like any of the clothes I see. It takes a lot of time before I find something that I feel would look best on me. It frustrates my parents, but they are used to it by now. In the coming month I have one more of such round to make. I have several things on my mind while choosing clothes. I don't see if what I select is nice. I try to imagine myself wearing it, and visualize how I look in that particular shirt or trouser. In short I buy clothes in which I look good. I don't care how the clothes look. But I maintain a certain standard and don't get tempted by clothes that may attract me but don't have quality.

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