So finally I got to my keyboard. I wanted to write the whole day today about many things but things couldn't be sparked in a way I prefer to have them like. I have finished the reading of 'The Fountainhead'. It took me 6 months to do it. I had almost left it untouched for a month in between. Whenever I read, I just gave in for 3-5 pages. I went for 50 pages once too. Sometimes it so happened that I got into some idea while reading and I surrendered to that idea for more comprehension over it.
But finally I am done and now I am reading 'Becoming a Person of Influence' by John C Maxwell and Jim Dornan. This book is creating a few conflictls in my mind because it preaches 'live for others'. I like having this disturbance and vibrations. They settle the matter perfectly with the heavy substance in the depths and the lighter ones at the top. It helps in better understanding and in decision what to stand for. I remember reading once 'if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything'.
I also got into the thinking about what would happen if every person started following everything I want him/her to. I felt it would be better to give the Holy Quran to everybody and enforce the beautiful book on them. But still I found that I need to learn a lot more before I can understand exactly how it would be if the whole world would have to follow me. It is better that I become someone I should follow first - with everything defined and everything decided - ready to be used - fresh from wars with self - fresh for wars against evil.
Yesterday I was at my friend's house. We had long discussions - on the 2 books he bought which are pirated, on people who are always after college syllabus - whose dreams are just to serve the ideas of their parents - those who don't like a life of their own - most importantly those who waste their potential, then about my parents because of whom the things I must stand for are being defined - implicitly, then more on subjects I can't write about here!
Then in the evening I played cricket with him. It was after a long time that I played any game outdoors. His brothers and cousines were with us and I enjoyed a lot. Here winning was never on my mind - it was more with the game and the satisfaction through the play - the desire and not the object - again!
I came back home late in the evening and was glad to see my father after 2 days. Then we both spoke on several things. I asked about the books he had read. He said even he has no count of that. I asked him how he felt after reading the books of Ayn Rand - he said he took all her philosophy as just her point of view and nothing more. I wondered if I am a fool taking her philosophy so seriously or is it fine for me to learn things this way. I still need an answer for that.
I was too tired so didn't write eanything much yesterday. I woke up early today (at 9:50 am... :D when my mom leaves for her office). I had some work to do and after that I had a half mango, some snacks and slept again. There wasn't much I did during the day and I do not know how the time went by. I don't think anything can bore me. I can make myself enjoyable to me in every way. I like holidays the same way I like the college days - just that there are lesser people involved in the later.
On tuesday when I went out to get a copy of a newspaper to read (a second one that day), I lifted my gaze to look at people around. Usually I do not lift my eyes beyond 6 inches from my feel. I have faced a lot because of this way I have adopted while walking - poeple have sometimes taken to an understanding that there is something mysterious with me when I look down and walk, it has been taken that I am a coward, or always something which I never meant. But I do see up several times and on this particular day I saw many things - abstractions I should call them. I shall later describe in detail what all I felt.
On the same day when I was at my grandparents' house in the night, on that huge bed, alone, I couldn't sleep easily. I went to bed at 10:45 pm and was awake till 1:30 am. This was the time I last saw. I was not bored in any way.I was thinking and learning. I shall write that too. At around 12:30 am, the same night, my aunt from Mecca called and she was asking the size of my clothes and all. She was doing her shopping and she didn't look at her watch before calling!
Sometime back I just got a feeling that I am writting less and less for Flowing Emotions and other blogs. I felt the reason is this particular blog - The ME Daily. I am sharing so much here itself that I don't find anything more to go in depth at any other place. But I know there are many more things to be written now and I shall do them as and when I feel like. I am searching for a nice thing or a software to write a review on for The Technology Blog. Writing for this blog is easy as I don't require any preparations and its just a walk on the things I have thought and done the whole day. Writing for others demnads preparations and some scraps of data and information which may or may not help me - it fires me into the writing atmosphere.
But I understand one thing - it is easier to write on than to read from a computer!
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