Today while in the 2nd class of the morning session I was studying maths. It was a class of Design and Analysis of Algorithms and our Professor lecturer is lenient enough to let us do what we want. He even pays no attention to the proxy attendance many students call out for their friends. I finally started studying for CAT - the quantitative section; I had already started english - and I was doing algebra today.
Yesterday night I went to sleep around 1:20 am - morning to be precise. I thought I would get sleep easily. I had a terrible night. I couldn't sleep at least till 4 am. It was completely disturbed with many silly dreams waking me up every few minutes. I was feeling some kind of fear within me and I wished there was sunlight around. I didn't wan to be on my bed in the darkness. I thought of waking up my parents but had no good reason to tell them. I was praying continuously and hoped that I fall asleep.
I was very sleepy all through the day. I jumped into the bed immediately after coming home. But now, as the time for me to go to sleep is nearing, I sense some kind of fear again. I wish I don't have to sleep. I am ready to bear the head ache I have and keep myself awake. I helpless now. I even wish I had somebody beside me, with me, to talk to me continuously and make me feel that I am not alone.
Tomorrow I have a test in the afternoon class. I sat down to study and was with the text book for more than 30 minutes. I red some definitions and nothing else. I will go through the rest in the college itself - if possible. Friday morning my aunt is leaving for Mecca and tomorrow afternoon I had to go to her house and help her with a few things. I don't know if I will be writing the test. If I am not writing, I will take the lecturer's permission.
Yesterday I tried writing a poem. I thought I could pen one with ease but didn't get anything right. I wrote around 6 to 8 lines and deleted everything. I felt they were very immature as poetic lines and very idiotic conceptually. I need to rush up a little on the fundamentals of poetry. I once searched for some material on the internet but didn't read anything. I will do it in my next favorable leisure.
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