Yestreday I spent much of the time reading a book and though was online for long, I wasn't in front of the system. As usual my day started at 12 and I went to meet my grandparents. I ahd a long talk with my granmother after a long time and it was nice hearing her. She told me about how she is feeling about my aunt leaving for abroad, about a leaking tap in the bathroom and the curtain that came down while cleaning. I fixed the curtain but while doing so, the heavy metal part of the hammer slipped out of the handle and fell on m toes. I just hd a narrow escape from damaging my bone, its a small wound that should heal pretty soon. I got to see my red blood again .. well .. I know it is red for everybody ... but still when I say "my" blood, it makes the talk more interesting for me.
Later in the night yesterday I was quizzed by some people from the mosque nearby. They want me to some with them for a 'jamat' of 40 days. They will meet me again today and I have to give them a good reason for not coming with them. I don't think I would like to share why I don't want to.
Today morning I woke up early out of hunger again, ate a piece of ckae and slept. But my day started a bit early today unlike yesterday. I continued with my book and also had a chat with a friend who is in audi after a long time.
I was then havoing some problem with my PC. 2 of the 3 p2p softwares I have here where starting all by themselves and I just kept on exitting them for sometime and later had to uninstall them. I have the 3rd one left - Ares -And it is working perfectly fine.
Andyes, yesterday I met with an old friend after a gap of 3 years. He was in Saudi for hte last one year and now he will be leaving for US. It was a real surprise for me when he dropped in at my grandparent's place. He has one of the very few people who were close to me when I was in my +2 days. We have decided to meet again and nut out a plan for a movie.
I even updated The Technology Blog yesterday.
Today night I plan to write for Flowing Emotions but I am still not finding right thigs to justify and fight for the topic I want to write on. I hope I get along with it the way I like to. Keep in touch. I am not checking this update for spellings and others errors, so please dont take them seriously :D
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Monday, May 8, 2006
It happens ... and I still believe that I am doing great
I do not know why Yahoo Messenger has decided to decieve me and hurt me. I was online and visible to everyone on my list for so long today and no one could see me online. Thank God I had my cusin online who helped me know this. I was really irriteted with what all I did to help with this and finally decided to uninstall it and reinstall (this takes 30 mins for online installation along with that crap yahoo toolbar... i prefer using google toolbar). To my horror even this was of zero help. Then I found that its only my regular ID that has a problem. I think yahoo doesnt likes to see me online for so much of time.
yahoo, yahoo, yahoo.
why do you
make me think of you
as a taboo.
I was alone all day,
and you
say u r the best,
wat may.
you irritated me today,
hey,
yahoo, yahoo, yahoo.
:D I am tring to do some time pass.
And because of all this irritation (a pain in my neck), I am not able to update my blogs too. I was planning of an update for flowing emotions and the technology blog but this develish messenger took my time away.
Yesterday night I reorganised all my pics on my pictures blog. I removed a few for the reason that is already stated on the top of that page - "of cource there are many more but they don't wish to be here".
Anyways my day was not as bad as I was exhibiting in my words above. I did have a short chat with a friend and many abstract chats with my cousin.
Actually I think I did get a mood swing today which fought with my commitment to a decision so there was some mental disturbance that created jerky and unruly waves. I am still under it now and the kiddish and cheeky poem I have written some lines up was a fragment of the frustration. I need some space to breath, I cant sit at home for so long and see the same faces all day and night. I am not oombing my hair so seeing myself in a mirror too a threat to my weak mental balance that is resting on strong memories of the past. Once these memories dissolve in the verve with time, I can rest easily on flat base - strong and steadfast. I am waiting for it.
I also found some time pass with yahoo answers. Check out the links on the right side bar of this page.
And yes, I lost one more thing (I am losing something or the other every other day, so nothing new). I used to have my pictures listing in the top 10 searches when searched for "my pictures" in MSN search. I daily used to remove the first pic from my blog and repost it so that it appears that I have updated the blog and it kept its position in the top 10. But now, even after doing the same thing twice a day, I cant see my blog in the top 30. I have lost so many visitors and I got just 9 visitors today and I am myself 2 of those 9. My average was well above 60 untill a couple of days back. This also effects my merits in adsense. I hope I dont see anymore losses and defeats in the dates to come.
One thing I can't hide ... I am frustrated and also angry ... and I know why it is so. I m doing really great :((
yahoo, yahoo, yahoo.
why do you
make me think of you
as a taboo.
I was alone all day,
and you
say u r the best,
wat may.
you irritated me today,
hey,
yahoo, yahoo, yahoo.
:D I am tring to do some time pass.
And because of all this irritation (a pain in my neck), I am not able to update my blogs too. I was planning of an update for flowing emotions and the technology blog but this develish messenger took my time away.
Yesterday night I reorganised all my pics on my pictures blog. I removed a few for the reason that is already stated on the top of that page - "of cource there are many more but they don't wish to be here".
Anyways my day was not as bad as I was exhibiting in my words above. I did have a short chat with a friend and many abstract chats with my cousin.
Actually I think I did get a mood swing today which fought with my commitment to a decision so there was some mental disturbance that created jerky and unruly waves. I am still under it now and the kiddish and cheeky poem I have written some lines up was a fragment of the frustration. I need some space to breath, I cant sit at home for so long and see the same faces all day and night. I am not oombing my hair so seeing myself in a mirror too a threat to my weak mental balance that is resting on strong memories of the past. Once these memories dissolve in the verve with time, I can rest easily on flat base - strong and steadfast. I am waiting for it.
I also found some time pass with yahoo answers. Check out the links on the right side bar of this page.
And yes, I lost one more thing (I am losing something or the other every other day, so nothing new). I used to have my pictures listing in the top 10 searches when searched for "my pictures" in MSN search. I daily used to remove the first pic from my blog and repost it so that it appears that I have updated the blog and it kept its position in the top 10. But now, even after doing the same thing twice a day, I cant see my blog in the top 30. I have lost so many visitors and I got just 9 visitors today and I am myself 2 of those 9. My average was well above 60 untill a couple of days back. This also effects my merits in adsense. I hope I dont see anymore losses and defeats in the dates to come.
One thing I can't hide ... I am frustrated and also angry ... and I know why it is so. I m doing really great :((
Sunday, May 7, 2006
Finally ...
Finally I completed the reading one of the 3 books I was locked with. "You Can Reach the Top" by Zig Ziglar was a fine book full of short inspiratonal essays. The other 2 books I hav to finish are "Ignited Minds" and "The Virtue of Selfishness". Then of course I still have "The Fountainhead" to be done with. But I prefer going very slow with his one enjoying every hidden fragrance in it.
I didn't write anything for this space yesterday so that I can get a line for today's post saying that I didn't do it for the reason of not doing it. Simple justification of ridiculous procrastination!
Yesterday I was at my grandparent's house with my cousins and had a great time. Actually I was busy with my books there too, but found time to socialise :D . And not to mention the heavy dose of sweets I had yesterday.
And yes, there was somethnig very interesting I did. I woke up at 5 in the morning yesterday out of terrible feeling of hunger - I got some food warmed and started eating it. My mother and brother woke up, looked at me in amusement, and asked "you have not slept till now?". What can I say - foolish stomach; it doesn't even know when to ring the bell.
I didn't write anything for this space yesterday so that I can get a line for today's post saying that I didn't do it for the reason of not doing it. Simple justification of ridiculous procrastination!
Yesterday I was at my grandparent's house with my cousins and had a great time. Actually I was busy with my books there too, but found time to socialise :D . And not to mention the heavy dose of sweets I had yesterday.
And yes, there was somethnig very interesting I did. I woke up at 5 in the morning yesterday out of terrible feeling of hunger - I got some food warmed and started eating it. My mother and brother woke up, looked at me in amusement, and asked "you have not slept till now?". What can I say - foolish stomach; it doesn't even know when to ring the bell.
Friday, May 5, 2006
Really really different today
I woke up a bit early today and spent a lot more time on the net doing nothing but downloading. It was really a boring day today so is this update I am sure.
My friend left for Hubli and he has disconnected his cell fone from Yahoo Messenger, and when I saw him not there online on the list it was like a threattening look for me - for the first time I didn't see any yellow color in my messenger.
I was alone online for very long time and that too was something new and different for me. I was feeling forced to think about things I want to run away from. Anyways I don't know how I am going to spend the rest of the time before I sleep.
I am surely going to miss my friend. We used to chat daily and he won't be here for 20 days.
Today was one of my least productive days in the past 2 months. I am very unhappy about this.
My friend left for Hubli and he has disconnected his cell fone from Yahoo Messenger, and when I saw him not there online on the list it was like a threattening look for me - for the first time I didn't see any yellow color in my messenger.
I was alone online for very long time and that too was something new and different for me. I was feeling forced to think about things I want to run away from. Anyways I don't know how I am going to spend the rest of the time before I sleep.
I am surely going to miss my friend. We used to chat daily and he won't be here for 20 days.
Today was one of my least productive days in the past 2 months. I am very unhappy about this.
Thursday, May 4, 2006
I tried darkness in my brain in the dark !!!
Couldn't help with an update yesterday - there was no power in the night for more than 2 hours and I was simply lying near the window trying not to think anythink. This was really tough. My mind has become a kind of hot air filled balloon that refuses to sit at one place. I wated to keep it blank for sometime but only sleep could do it. I know even while sleeping there is nothing I can do as it is an unconscious process.
By the way, yesterday I was at a friend's place who lives very far from my house. I wanted to meet him since long. Has has been to my house several times> I went there after a year. I was there along with another friend and when we were leaving the place at 5 pm he forced us to have lunch. What heppened later that evening was really bad.
I had the keys of my house and I was of the thinking that my brother or my father was having it. And when I came back home I met my father near the gate and he said "Go up, and I will come after your mother takes your 'class'".
I was expecting it. But I was very happy to see my father calm - he had been waiting for me for 3 hours and my mother for 1 hour. All the time I was on my way back I was thinking of the possible things I can say in my defense. But I knew i was my mistake. I wanted to say a sorry but I also knew that, that wouldn't help. I was feeling very bad and guilty - I had made my mom wait for so long.
I wish I could accept openly that it was my fault and say that I am really really sory for that. But when my mom started scolding me, my ego started the talking. I fought back saying that we have 2 keys for the main door and someone else too should have had kept one. There were several useless things I said and all the while I knew I am theone on the wrong side of the line. I was feeling guilty. But what I said made my mom become silent very soon. (I am really for that mamma.)
Today my brother's 10th standard's results were out. He got 80% and was very happy. I had to check the results of around 60 students of my dad's school and I was thinking that it was going to be very tiresome. But it was damn easy and interesting too. Now I plan to create a sort of database in MS-Excel so that it helps him understand the performance of his school teachers. I still have to complete that work.
I started the evening with lots of sneezing. They are on even now. I think in the past 3 hours I have sneezed for more than 50 time. It was a nice pleasure untill it started giving me a headache and made me feel weak. But I am fine now.
There is still a lot of work to be done by me. I hope I can make up a good part of it tonight.
By the way, yesterday I was at a friend's place who lives very far from my house. I wanted to meet him since long. Has has been to my house several times> I went there after a year. I was there along with another friend and when we were leaving the place at 5 pm he forced us to have lunch. What heppened later that evening was really bad.
I had the keys of my house and I was of the thinking that my brother or my father was having it. And when I came back home I met my father near the gate and he said "Go up, and I will come after your mother takes your 'class'".
I was expecting it. But I was very happy to see my father calm - he had been waiting for me for 3 hours and my mother for 1 hour. All the time I was on my way back I was thinking of the possible things I can say in my defense. But I knew i was my mistake. I wanted to say a sorry but I also knew that, that wouldn't help. I was feeling very bad and guilty - I had made my mom wait for so long.
I wish I could accept openly that it was my fault and say that I am really really sory for that. But when my mom started scolding me, my ego started the talking. I fought back saying that we have 2 keys for the main door and someone else too should have had kept one. There were several useless things I said and all the while I knew I am theone on the wrong side of the line. I was feeling guilty. But what I said made my mom become silent very soon. (I am really for that mamma.)
Today my brother's 10th standard's results were out. He got 80% and was very happy. I had to check the results of around 60 students of my dad's school and I was thinking that it was going to be very tiresome. But it was damn easy and interesting too. Now I plan to create a sort of database in MS-Excel so that it helps him understand the performance of his school teachers. I still have to complete that work.
I started the evening with lots of sneezing. They are on even now. I think in the past 3 hours I have sneezed for more than 50 time. It was a nice pleasure untill it started giving me a headache and made me feel weak. But I am fine now.
There is still a lot of work to be done by me. I hope I can make up a good part of it tonight.
Tuesday, May 2, 2006
At last ...
Yes, at last I am done with my new blog - The Technology Blog. It was simple procrastination that was stopping me from publishing it, and after having done it I am smiling at myself thinking how simple it was and how much worried I was about putting those snaps there. Though were not sharp but they did give a nice look to the blog as a whole.
I also updated Gridlocked, Corkers, My Home Page Blog and my Home Page! Though there wasn't anything new and interesting in them, an update is always an update :D . I am still looking for something interesting for the home page and the pages connected to it...actually I am a bit discouraged as I am not working the way I wanted to.
I wanted to start writing on people but I couldn't do that... actually didn't do that (Laziness, huh!). But I think I will plan out something like catagorising the things I am going to write about them - I will have specified topics so that I can be more objective and write point-to-point. But still I am not clear with the way I am going to organise it.
I think I have got a new topic for Flowing Emotions. Though I can't tell it here, all I can say that there is more philosophy on the way ... I do not know how long its going to take for it to arrive (or for me to feel like writing it!).
My brother's results of his 10th standard's final examinations must be out on 4th so after that maybe my dad himself will take us to Gulbarga. I felt very bad that I couldn't go there on last saturday as decided previously.
I also updated Gridlocked, Corkers, My Home Page Blog and my Home Page! Though there wasn't anything new and interesting in them, an update is always an update :D . I am still looking for something interesting for the home page and the pages connected to it...actually I am a bit discouraged as I am not working the way I wanted to.
I wanted to start writing on people but I couldn't do that... actually didn't do that (Laziness, huh!). But I think I will plan out something like catagorising the things I am going to write about them - I will have specified topics so that I can be more objective and write point-to-point. But still I am not clear with the way I am going to organise it.
I think I have got a new topic for Flowing Emotions. Though I can't tell it here, all I can say that there is more philosophy on the way ... I do not know how long its going to take for it to arrive (or for me to feel like writing it!).
My brother's results of his 10th standard's final examinations must be out on 4th so after that maybe my dad himself will take us to Gulbarga. I felt very bad that I couldn't go there on last saturday as decided previously.
Monday, May 1, 2006
Hmmn ...
I slept a lot today and had my lunch at 7:15 pm. This was because of my late breakfast and lots of mangoes in the afternoon. These were the first of the mangoes I have eaten this season and the ones I ate were perfectly fine but my mother was complaining about a few bad ones. (Never mind mom we have the whole season to be exploited :D )
In the evening my grandmother and aunt were here. Though I wasn't completely dedicated to them (I was with my computer), I felt good having them here. They hardly come to my house, everytime we go and meet them.
Just before writing this post I saw that someone has reviewed by blog through blogsrater. This one was fine. It was in my favor :D . Then I thought of rating a few blogs by myself so that I could get some free advertising. I have even put a link of blogsrater on my blog so that anyone interested can try it.
Starting from tomorrow I should start writing on several people I have in my life. I am not sure on how many I am really going to write but right now I think the number is 25. I hope I do with all these. Its really going to be interesting for me defining all these people for me. It will be like knowing more about ppl I already know by thinking about each of them. I am going to be as frank as possible and I hope no one will mind that. I don't think I'd like to share it with anyone but that will crop up only when I start writing. I won't hurt anyone and the 25 shall the ones who won't mistake me for anything wrong (hopefully). And yes, I will keep all this private and hidden. :D (sounds professonal and interesting - I wish it comes out the same way too.)
I have even started working for my next blog - The Technology Blog. I have just created it and posted nothing. The first thing to appear would be about IE 7 Beta 2. I have already taken snaps of it, I have to write on them. So check it out in the days to come. :)
In the evening my grandmother and aunt were here. Though I wasn't completely dedicated to them (I was with my computer), I felt good having them here. They hardly come to my house, everytime we go and meet them.
Just before writing this post I saw that someone has reviewed by blog through blogsrater. This one was fine. It was in my favor :D . Then I thought of rating a few blogs by myself so that I could get some free advertising. I have even put a link of blogsrater on my blog so that anyone interested can try it.
Starting from tomorrow I should start writing on several people I have in my life. I am not sure on how many I am really going to write but right now I think the number is 25. I hope I do with all these. Its really going to be interesting for me defining all these people for me. It will be like knowing more about ppl I already know by thinking about each of them. I am going to be as frank as possible and I hope no one will mind that. I don't think I'd like to share it with anyone but that will crop up only when I start writing. I won't hurt anyone and the 25 shall the ones who won't mistake me for anything wrong (hopefully). And yes, I will keep all this private and hidden. :D (sounds professonal and interesting - I wish it comes out the same way too.)
I have even started working for my next blog - The Technology Blog. I have just created it and posted nothing. The first thing to appear would be about IE 7 Beta 2. I have already taken snaps of it, I have to write on them. So check it out in the days to come. :)
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