Purr ...

I was already feeling too lazy to write for today. Yesterday I had not written anything in the evening though a little in the noon. After writing that, I left for my grandparents' house. I had no specific reason but I thought I could do some reading there. Staying at home is a bit distorting. There all I could read was around 20 pages. That's it!

Then my aunt had to collect some test reports from Vikram Diagnostics at Ameerpet. There were 2 CT scans my 8 year old cousin brother had undergone. I accompanied my aunt as it was late in the evening already. The reports were almost normal and everything is fine. After taking them we had to make a visit to a doctor. The clinic is at Banjara Hills. By the time I reached home, it was 9 pm. I rushed to the gym after that.

Today I started the 3-day routine at the gymnasium. Until now I was making some rounds of regular exercises just to get into the rhythm. Today I worked out for chest muscles and arms. I had to do them in a hurry as it was getting late and that place closes at 10 m. Tomorrow I will go for the lats routine. Then it would be for shoulders and triceps.

I am afraid that I may get too lazy again and become a fool enough to stop doing the workouts. I have done such a thing before - I went there for 6 months; irregular and in fully disturbed routines. I did make something out of it but it was lost pretty soon. InshAllah this time around I will be regular and make good progress.

Yesterday night I didn't sleep - of course I don't sleep at nights - I sleep early mornings. I went to bed at 4:15 am. This was after a long chat I had with a friend. It was great having that chat. I am glad I have a friend like that. I dread getting away from everybody once my engineering ends. I am already missing my friends - I do not know how I may feel once the left over 17 months get over. I still remember my first day to the college - it was a math class and I was late; I had to take the last seat but I was glad when people came even after me and sat behind me!

Today morning I woke up at 11 am but was in the bed till 11:30. My mother was asking me to get up every few minutes and that kept me awake. My mother is on a 10 day leave - she has taken the available privilege leave she gets at her office. She will be spending the time relaxing, taking my grandparents' for their medical check-ups, shopping and of course my sister's marriage.

My cousin sister is here now at Hyderabad. There is some function on 20th and the marriage is on 21st. The reception in Guntur is on 24th. I wonder how I will feel missing classes at college right in the first week.

After waking up I went along with my mother for some shopping. She wanted to buy a few things for herself for the wedding function. We were at Chandana Brothers, Ameerpet, for more than an hour. It was a tough time for me. She was constantly asking my opinions on the sarees she was selecting and I had to answer something just to keep her heart. But the sarees she bought had my consent! I had integrity in my words when I appreciated them ... :D It was an experience!

After that we went to my grandparents' house, spent some time there, and reached home just at the time of magrib. I didn't do much after that. I have been thinking of writing a few things but not getting the right motivation. I just need to start ... need to fight out my laziness and foolishness. Tomorrow I have to go for my suit's trial. I need to be there before 5 pm. I already don't feel like going... simply!

I don't feel like reviewing any of my posts for mistakes once I write them.

Bread and Butter

I was awake to 3 am in the morning. For the last few days I have been getting hungry after fajar so around 6 am I am having a few slices of bread with butter. This is just enough to keep things fine till 9 am. Hunger starts again. My meals and their timings have been messed up lately. I am worried about how things will go when colleges start.

Yesterday I was at home and didn't go anywhere during the day time. A few friends came to meet me in the afternoon and late night. I had a long chat wit a friend just before I went to bed. During the day time I uploaded around 65 pictures to flickr.com and hosted them their sot hat they can be put up in the wordpress blog my friend has now. A few more things are left to complete the procedure. Some irrelevant code form the posts needs to be deleted and this pics are to be categorized.

Today morning at 9:30 am 2 of my friends came to my house. I was sleeping when they came. They had been to a gym together just before coming. Something which I have been doing for the past one month!!! But I missed several days due to exams and other reasons including laziness. I have picked up the rhythm now and I can feel the changes within me. Some weeks back, in the title of one of my blog postings, I have mentioned that I am hiding something. This was what I was hiding - I simply didn't feel like telling about it to anybody.

Today, in sometime I will be leaving for my aunt's house. I want to read some book and I know I can't o it staying at home. Internet is a very big distraction to me and I can't stop myself from staying online especially when any of a few close friends are online.

Sunday

In the morning I left home at 8:40 am for CL. I had the third class for Reading Comprehension. The night before I had hardly slept. I was at my cousin's place and came back home at 2 in the morning. I had just 4 slices of bread with butter in the morning and went to the class.

I has half asleep while reading those 6 passages. My reading speed was around 215 words per minute when it is supposed to be at least 400 words per minute. We have been assigned to read a book every 10 days and write a review on it and mail it to the in-charge. We wont' be allowed to attend the classes if don't do this. I wonder how I am going to keep with this!

I was very hungry while in the class. I had a burger and cool drink at McDonalds with my friend who is with me at CL. From there I went to my cousin's house again. In some minutes we left for the mosque. It was Alamgir Masjid at Shanti Nagar. It also had a very big grave yard. Even I am supposed to go there! I already had a discussion with my father on this. We have also decided to book our slots!!! :D

I saw the complete procedure of burying the dead body. I have seen it before several times. After that I went to visit my aunt's grave. Almost all my expired relatives are here in this place. I like spending time in this mosque. But unfortunately, it is pretty far from my house - 5 kilometers at least.

After coming home at 4 pm I slept for more than 3 hours. It was necessary for me. Even when I was at my grandparents' house I slept a for a little longer than usual. But it was not sufficient. That night I slept at 12!!!

I didn't do much after waking up. Just got some chicken for dinner and had a heavy meal. Even the lunch was heavy. It was at my cousin's house itself. It was simple 'khidchi', 'bagaara khaana' and 2 types of 'daal' along with 'tamaatey ki chutney'. It was cooked by many people at their respective homes and brought here. JazakAllah kahiran. JazakAllah kahiran for my cousin's friend too who helped us a lot. He did a lot more work than me.

Most probably tomorrow I won't have any disturbance at home. I will be alone. I will do some reading and sleep a little extra. I still don't know how I will be spending the day. I just hope I don't waste it sitting in front of the computer.

Saturday

I came back from CL just around 20 minutes back and was planning a few things when my father got a call from his elder brother informing about the demise of my cousin's grandmother. She was the mother-in-law of my father's younger sister. She had cancer and was undergoing treatment at Indo-American Cancer Hospital. I will be leaving for my cousin's place in a few minutes. I may be there overnight as the funeral will be in fajar.

Earlier today one of my friends visited me and we did a few things for a blog he wanted to have. It is http://mjcc.wordpress.com . I had to do some uploading for that and I will be doing it when I get time tomorrow. I even ave my class tomorrow and I do not know how I will be managing things.

I completed the changes and the updating I had to make to Flowing Emotions. I had to add all the links and blog rolls. It too a lot of time as there was some error with the HTML codes that were making the blog appear in a weired way in IE 7. It was fine with Mozilla Firefox. I had to do a lot of experimenting with the codes. I even added Google META tags to 4 blogs. They will help me get higher page ranks and better placings in search results. I found these features under the webmaster tools from Google itself.

I didn't spend much time with the beta version of blogger I have just moved on to but what all I have seen till now is very nice. The dashboard has many details and direct access to some setting options is very well placed and designed. The time taken for the posts to get published has been reduced. This even helps in reducing some publishing errors that used to irritate me.

I feel you creeping, I can see you from my shadow ... hehe

Yesterday when I was in the hospital, I called my friends and informed them that I would be joining them a little late. I was at Hope hospital. My 7 year old cousin brother had some sinus problem so the doctor had asked him to stay at the hospital overnight for further analysis. Later it was diagnosed that it was malaria and nothing else. He is back home.

From the hospital I took my grandmother back to her house. From there I called my friend again. He said they were already at KFC. I asked them to continue with their meal and call me up once they are done so that I can catch up with them later for hukaa. They didn't call me. I was 7:15 pm when I had this talk on phone.

I still had my shoes on and kept waiting for them. It was 9:00 pm when 2 of them came to pick me up. They told me several things but the first thing I asked them was if we are going to coffee day to have hukka or not. There was no positive word from them. I was already hungry so I asked them to take me to a place at least where I can fill my stomach. They were already done with dinner at KFC! I had a chicken shawarma at Friends, Salar Jung Colony. Then we sat at a friend's house nearby. I also got to meet an old school friend.

While I was waiting for my friends to call me or pick me up from my grandparents' house, for once I thought that these people had forgotten me or took me for granted. I thought several things - all negative. I didn't feel so nice when they came. I asked them what they were thinking. They said they were missing me.

Today morning I took my grandmother to a diagnostic center at Mehdipatnam. It took around 40 minutes for everything to get over. I dropped her back home and came to my house at 12:45 pm. I took a bath and rushed for the Friday prayers.

In the evening I came to know that my mother would be late home. She had some video conference to attend at the collector's office. I had to get the evening snacks and the dinner from outside. My brother has a test at his college tomorrow so I couldn't take any work from him. My father had to attend some wedding function so he left. he came back around 11:30 pm.

Today I transferred all my blogs to blogger beta version. While the transfer was on, my blogs were rendered inaccessible. I wasn't even able to log into my account. I had to wait for a few hours. I know I lost some traffic during this time.

I also did a few irrational things today. I accepted several comments that were kept pending. There was a comment that had a name in it! I do not know if I should keep it or not. I don't think anybody can find out where it is after reading this post of mine unless I tell where it is. It's on an old post in one of the 3 blogs I update regularly.

All these days I was hiding a couple of blogs. They are public now. I am not going to write how to find them! But I am afraid about the comment that has a name in it. I have tried to imagine it's consequences but I couldn't figure out how it can effect me. It can be very bad if read by some people ... I do not know how it can be bad! People who know me know that name and everything related to that person. I really really hope that nothing goes wrong.

I do not know why I do a few things I do

Tuesday night I had a chat with a cousin and we planned to meet at his house at 12 noon on Wednesday. We called on our cousin who lives in old city - the one who studies in Deccan College of Engineering and Technology. He came a little late - at 1:40 pm. We watched some trailers of movies that were already there on the computer. We saw some parts of 'Saw 1' and 'Saw 2'. They were terrifying and unbelievable.

We 3 left home at 3:50 pm. We went to KFC at Himayat nagar and had 2 Zinger burgers each. We got one free with the first one! We went to a Trinetra nearby and had some soft drinks. Then we decided to have Hukka. We considered several places including Coffee Day, Mocha, Koyla and a few other places. We decided for Ofen.

When we reached Ofen we came to know that they have already stopped selling Hukkas. We took a while to decide and left for La Saani. From outside this place didn't look good but we took along. We ordered a Strawberry flavored one. It was very bad. There was hardly any flavor and all the taste was of the coal. We didn't have much of it and left for home again.

I was planning to stay there in the night. My cousin told me that he would have the home projector ready and we would watch some movies. When I called my father to ask if I can stay back, he told me that he was not at home and even my mother would be late today. My brother was alone in the house at 7:40 pm. I didn't ask for much as I knew it was my responsibility to be at home. I left my aunt's house at 8:20 pm and reached home by 8:40 pm. I had to get some things from outside and also arrange my clothes.

My mother came home at 9 pm. She told me that the next that that is Thursday I will be taking my grandmother to some hospital. I agreed. She told me about a few more things I had to do and I was fine with them all. My cousin had decided to pick me up from my house when I am done with everything my mother had asked me to do. This didn't happen.

At 9:10 pm a friend of my mother came home. They both met after 20 years. My mother got busy with her. It was amazing that my mother's friend knew that my birthday was on 26th of November. It seems she had seen me when I was just a few days old.

IN the mean while a friend called me up and told me that in a few minutes we would be leaving for a friends house to wish him on is birthday at 12 midnight. I didn't know what to do. I told me that I would call him back in 10 minutes. I had to think for sometime. My cousin called me up and asked me if he can come and pick me up. I replied in negative. I know he felt bad - we had a plan and I was escaping from it. I felt bad too. But I had to do what my friends were doing. They are my friends; my cousin will be my cousin no matter what happens!

It took me some time to get my parent's permission. They didn't agree first because it was night. They didn't think about the black day thing. If they had, they would have never allowed me to leave home. I saw a smile on my mother's face while I was leaving. I don not know why but it left me more nervous. To be precise, I don't want to write why I felt that way! I was very negative at that moment.

My friends came to pick me up at 10:30 pm. We took a cake on our way to Chaderghat where my friend, whose birthday we had to celebrate, lives. The cake was half-frozen but after we cut it into pieces, it began to warm up and it was tasty.

We reached him house at 11:30 pm. Another friend who lives in Malakpet joined us. When we knocked the door and went inside, I found no surprise on my friend's face. He was as if he knew we were coming. We cut the cake at 12:10 am and left the place at 12:30 am. I was at home at 1 a sharp. I had the keys with me and my mother came to know that I was home only at 1:15 am.

On my way to Chaderghat I had been asked by my mother to call home every 1 hour and inform her about my well-being. She gave me a burden - her cell phone to do this. Our ride to Chaderghat was full of tension. There was a lot of policing being done in the city and we were 3 people on a single bike. We somehow managed to reach there and come back without being caught. One of my friends on his way home after dropping me had a narrow escape from being caught.

Earlier in the day I had an incredible experience sitting on my cousin's bike and the way he was riding it. He had a red Karizma loaded with 225 cc of cylinders. While riding, my cousin refused to stay below the 80 kmph mark. Even in that heavy and slow moving traffic, he was very, very fast. I started with asking him to slow down but bu looking at the way he was handling the bike, I felt I could trust in him and I enjoyed. He is an amazing biker. The control he had over his bike with that speed was awesome. He was riding as if he knew how th traffic was going to behave and he was perfect. The was he was applying the brakes, the way he was accelerating suddenly and negotiating some close and sharp turns from between vehicles ... I was stunned. I had a great time - it was an adventure!

Today morning after fajar I woke up finally at 1 pm. I had been missing a lot of sleep in he last 2 days so I had to cope up with that. Then my mother called me and told me that I had to take my grandmother to the hospital today itself - not for my grandmother but to meet someone there. I also have to take her tomorrow - for her check up.

I will be leaving home at 4:15 pm. I will reach my grandparents' house and take her to the place. After returning, I will be going to a friend's house. We have a plan to go to either KFC or Coffee Day at Jubilee Hill. Most probably it will be Jubilee Hills.

I know I am going out a lot with my friends. I realize I have a lot of friends actually and cousins too. It talking a lot on me to be with them and get along with them - it's taking time, it's taking money. I am enjoying it but I need to stay in my limits. My parents never stop me but it doesn't mean that I can do what I want. Right now, everything is fine. I don't want anything to go wrong in the coming day. I hope Allah helps with with everything. I am having a great time these days of course - so, no chance of any complaints...

I have not checked for any grammatical mistakes in today's post. There must be many!

Love, Ear cleaning swabs, Worms and McAfee

I had 3 of my friends visiting me today. 2 of them are from the college and we were uploading some videos from a cell phone to my computer. There were some pics somewhere in my computer which I wanted to show them. The folder was saved deep inside. It is because, while making the hard drive to hard drive transfers sometime back for repairing my computer, I had copied all the files into a single folder and I still have to sort things out. So, when I opened the folder, I saw another folder along with the pics. I double clicked on it thinking that it has some more pics inside it. I realized that I made a mistake.

I had double click on an application that appears to be a folder. It is the same worm that has effected my computer 2 weeks back. Because the folder was hidden, it eluded the process I had taken to remove all the effected and contagious files. The moment I realized what I had done, I switched off my computer. After turning it on again, I saw that the virus had effected and the CPU usage was weired with several useless processes going on which I was not able to terminate.

One of my friends said that he had the latest version of McAfee (2007) which worked on his computer to remove the same worm. He went home and got it for me (A special thanx to him and the my other friend who took him on his bike). We installed the software and the results were as desired. But now, this McAfee 2007 is a burden on my computer. It has slowed down so many things. It is consuming so many processes and taking up internet bandwidth too to get some updates. I have tried disabling the updates thing but in vain. Tomorrow I will switch back to NAV 2004 - the one that had been shipped with my computer.

I didn't do much the whole day except that just sometime back (1:40 am) I posted a new post on Flowing Emotions. It is something related to love marriages again! It was basically in response to a kind visitor to my blog with whose comment I didn't agree. I hope she now knows why I had written "Modus Operandi of Love Marriages'. A friend of mine too had asked me the reason for it and I had replied "I don't know". So, I know it now after some thinking. I hope I am not cheating myself!

Tomorrow I may be going to a cousin's house. Another cousin too from old city is expected to come and we plan to have some good time. A visit to KFC is a possibility.

The snaps didn't come out well. The name of the virus was W32/Rontokbro.gen@MM and the number of detected files were 2046. This is what a double click can do. That worm is too fast in spreading and it is too dangerous and irritating. McAfee 2007 is the most easily available solution.

A Little Dumb Me ...

200th post here

We celebrated the birthday of one of my friends. We had been wanting to have a party all this time but were not getting the right time. We were at the chineese section of Ohri's at road number 12. I don't know if that place had some different name. It was a wonderful lunch he hosted and of course, we enjoyed a lot. It included the applying of cake on his face.

3 of my friends had already taken a gift for him long back. 2 more had given something to him already. 2 more gave something today. All I could do w to get him a cake. I wanted to give him a gift which he could keep with him. I didn't get the right idea.We had a good time.

After the party we went to Ameerpet Career Launcher. One of my friends had been called there for counselling. We were 4 when we reach2d there. 2 split into 2 groups. I went with one of them to an old friend. We had to give him some books. After that we rejoined our friend who celebrated his b'day at his house. I was there with him till 8:10 pm and reached home after 8:35 pm.

When I reached home, 2 of my friends (from intermediate times) were waiting for me. We had already decided yesterday to meet today and go out. I was late by more than an hour. One of them was supposed to come to my house at 7:30 pm. He came, and I wasn't there. He left and got the other friend here and they both waited for me to come. We will be going out on Thursday evening. We want to include few more of our friends but one of them seems to be busy. Nothing is still confirmed yet.

Today, after the party, in the parking lot of Ohri's, one of my friends gave me a gift. He said it is for my birthday. I was really humbled. I told him that it was not at all necessary that he gives anything but he insisted that I take it. I was a book.

Sometime back I had written an article on Flowing Emotions by the title "Modus Operandi of Love Marriages". There was a comment left on it by some anonymous person. I dind't totally agree with it. Perhaps nobody understood why I had written it and what I wanted to convey. The later part is clear in the last but one paragraph of the post. Even I don't know why I had written it. But now, I will have my reason!

Just as I was writing the above paragraph, I got a new comment. I found it to be form the same person who had commented. She also left her name. I will reply to her comments tomorrow in the form of a posting. I am very tired now and my head is aching.

I did something dumb today. I do not know how many people observed that, but I am aware of it. I will write more on this in detail. Very soon inshAllah

Sunday

Today was perhaps the best day I had with my friends online. Except one friend, I got to talk to everybody. Even with some old friends. I spoke to at least 12 of them. I pretended to be in different moods with everybody. I had to. Only one of them knows how I was feeling all the time. ... I am doing good. I have to be that way :)

Earlier today I was at my aunt's house to celebrate my cousin's birthday. There was a lovely lunch with some wonderful pudding. The pineapple cake had many fruits in it and I loved it. I was very comfortable all through as all the people there were known to me. I was expecting many new faces.

Tomorrow I will be going to the college to return some books to the library and take some new once if they are issuing. The most important thing is that I will be meeting my friends! It looks as though I haven't met them since long. I can't wait for tomorrow to come.

Today evening I also had a detailed talk on Islam and other religions with a friend. It was a nice healthy discussion and I was glad I got a chance to talk all that with him. I am sure that will help him. And I also understood one more thing - though I was fine with what all I had to tell him to convince him on a few things, I think I need to increase my knowledge base. I need to learn more things about my religion and also learn how to be good at conversations that are effective and give me what I want.

Tomorrow my brother has some test in his college so he didn't come to the party. My father forced him a lot but he didn't agree. I was glad he remained at home to study. He is definitely working hard. I hope he fares better than me. But my mother always thinks that I am jealous of him. I don't not know how to show my concern for my brother. All I do for him is pray. My mother thinks something else and calls me jealous. It hurts me when she says that. I want my brother to be better than me.

Today I had lots of food and other snacks. My breakfast was at 11:30 am. Before that I had tea at 9 am. I slept in between. The heavy lunch was at 2:15 pm. Then lots of biryaani around 11:30 pm. I had some cake, chocolate and biscuits in between. But missed the daily dose of eggs and coffee!

Some visitor to my blog (Flowing Emotions) left this poem for the post 'A Guy Like Me'.
Covered in the dust of time
A book lay untouched, unread.
I had abandoned it for years
The words remained unheard, unsaid.

I did not need to read it to know
what the story was about,
I had carried it in my heart for ages
Never once letting it out.

I had lived my life never thinking
About the way I was leading it,
I chose to ignore the book forever
I wanted to die without reading it.

The book now lies in my withered hands,
The story pierces my heart like a knife.
I could throw it away but I know
It would not change the ‘story of my life’.

When ... ?

Yesterday night I changed the template of Flowing Emotions. It took me almost an hour to decide the design. I had a look at several designs and themes - must be more than hundred. then finally I narrowed down at 2.

I tried the first one. It had a white rose on the top with some quote written but the way the content was laid when I scrolled down wasn't nice. The background was dark blue and it was too plain with no designs at the sides. Then I tried the second and kept it. I simply loved it. Since then I have been opening the blog and staring at it every few minutes. Crazy, I know. I have become like that with a few things...! Just that I can look at my blog anytime I want. I can't do it with the other of these very few things.

I slept around 2:30 am and after fajar, I woke up at 9 am. I didn't sleep after that; just took a nap in the evening when I was at my grandparents' house. I was expecting my classes at CL to start today but when I called up my friend, he told me that they would start from next week. In any case I will have to start studying for it now.


Later in the evening I went for some shopping with my parents and brother. We had to buy some jewelery for my cousin sister who is going to get married shortly. I bought a suit length for myself which took me a lot of thinking before selecting the color. But it was less than the time my father took for buying his shoes. He waned brown colored beetles. He found them nowhere at Abids; only black was available. Then he decided to buy simple brown shoes and even for them he took lot of time deciding among many types and models.

On our way back home we stopped for some time at my father's friend's shop at Masab tank. We had tea from 555 Hotel and pan after that! I had pan after many days. I had been avoiding it thinking about my teeth. I remember last August I was with my cousin sister who is a dentist. I had refused to eat pan and she had said "sometimes you can have it". I ate it thinking about that! I didn't discuss this with my father. Else, he would have said "Don't try to act smart. Do not try to show-off!".

Tomorrow I will be attending the birthday party of a cousin sister of mine. She is the same cousin with whom I had a kind of discussion on hijaab. Her b'day is on 5th but she will be celebrating tomorrow itself at home. The party is at lunch and I am looking ahead for it. My aunt is a great cook!

Pleeeease, will you ... ? I am tired.

I don't know why I feel so tired now. There wasn't anything much I did today. Wrote the exam and went to watch a movie. It was Dhoom - 2 again. I was in o mood to watch any movie today. 2 of my friend forced me. I had thought of giving myself a goo sleep after coming home but that didn't happen. I had to watch a boring movie.

I had wanted to Don again. I have been looking for a chance but nothing came up till now. I asked my father but he wasn't interested. I know that none of my friends would come along with me. In the last few days I have been trying to know the name of Shahrukh Khan's next movie... no success till now!

So many times till now I have decided that I won't be watching any movies. Rarely it so happens that I feel like watching some movie and I never get a chance for that. This time, along with a second viewing of Don, I wanted to see Casino Royale. Instead, I am made to see movies of actors I hate - Rithik Roshan here in today's case. I saw so many movies I was least interested in. Somehow I need to cut on things and be more selective. I do not know how I can say a 'no' to my friends. But I guess I can say that; it doesn't helps. Today I was pulled out of my house!

I reached home at 7:15 pm. I was 15 early than the time I told my father. He asked why I was early!