TIME or CL

I missed two days. I dont know why I didnt update yesterday. I was using internet till 12 midnight and I knew all the time that I should be writing something for the blog but I jus didnt do it. Perhaps I wanted to be alone!

Tomorrow I dont want to go to college, I dont feel like - I want to be alone for a day - but I will still go. I have to - ther is no rational reason, my attendance is less.

Yesterday we celebrated my friend' b'day. We got the gift, a bean bag directly delivered to the house. Then we went to the coffee day at Jubilee Hills in the afternoon. After that I went to the college to take prints outs of some lab and then to a friend's house. Later to y grandparents' house and back home.

Friday I didn't post anything because of a friend who hurt me. I asked to him to read my blog before sleeping and he said he is going to sleep early. I had wanted to write and vent out everything I had in my mind but I kept calm. I had to ... I was terrible. he said he believes me yes he also believes that I can lie. That means i am not a trust worthy person. This was the last thing I wanted to hear. At least from him.

Some months back my sister told me something - when you approach closer to the end of your professional course, you will clearly begin to understand who is your friend, your good friend, and your best friend, you will know who all are going to stand by you and who will leave you.

As she was saying this, I was thinking that she was wrong. I was thinking that I will never hav to see anything of such kind. I was wrong! Thanx aapi.

She was in Hyderabad for the last 3 days - shopping for her wedding scheduled in December. She came to my house in the morning today and I was overwhelmed to see her again. She said she will now be making up and down trips to Hyderabad regularly and she will definitely stay at my house sometime when she is here. I will be desperately waiting for that. My aunt, her mother, gave me a t-shirt. And also asked me to come to Gulbarga. My father never feels that way - he says its only when he wants, that I should go. The reason - I am too small to go without my parents. Am I so small or young?

Later today at 2 pm I went to the office of Career Launcher. I had written their test last Sunday and I scored a percentile of 84.57. They gave me some counselling kind of thing. I am going to join either TIME or CL in the next cmoing days. I had plans of joining this week itself, it got delayed as TIME has no batches starting at the moment.

Int he eveing my father took us for a drive. We went to some bakery on Rajendranagar road close to Bangalore Highway. I had some Pizza there. I am back home feeling something I dont like to.

ISN-TUNDUK

Today I finally uploaded the spoof of a song my brothers have made on google videos. It seems to be still under some processing and the final video is not out for viewing yet. I am waiting for it. It took me around 3 hours to upload it. When I first started it, it got stuck after an hour of uploading. I had to start again. I am glad its over.

Today i came home at 7 pm and I will write about the reason why I was late on Saturday. I had a good day today with chats with many people mostly my cousines.

I am posting here an article written by my cousin on an organisation he is working with, He and even I are now interested in having this here in India too and we are working on it. We plan to get it registered with the government as an NGO. We stillhave a lot of paper work to do and it will take a while. Those interested can read on ---

"Suggested Headline: “ISN-TUNDUK”: Boon to Student Initiatives.

Prepared by:

A Student of International High School of Medicine,

International University of Kyrgyzstan

Bishkek: Students’ are an important part of the society. They constitute the majority of the professionals in any country around the globe. Students’ have young, fresh and creative minds which can surely lead to the development of ideas that can be positive and helpful to the society, country and its people and the world. Many student organizations operate around the world and one such community was started in Kyrgyzstan also.

Keeping this ideology in mind, Students’ from Kyrgyzstan, Russia, Turkey, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, India and Pakistan etc. joined hands in hands to form an international cooperative community called as the ‘International Student Network’ “(ISN)-TUNDUK” here in Bishkek, the Kyrgyz republic. The meaning of ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ is: ISN means the international group of students from different countries including Kyrgyzstan. ‘TUNDUK’ is the golden colored national symbol which is inscribed onto the center of the National Flag of Kyrgyzstan which depicts the total number of communities and tribes of people living in Kyrgyzstan; in short it can be bannered as ‘THE PEOPLE OF KYRGYZSTAN’. Together ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ can be described as the organization that deals in the development and welfare of the students, needy and poor people of Kyrgyzstan through student cooperation nationally and internationally. The main mission behind ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ is the development of communities through student cooperation.

The base which formed the office for ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ was officially granted free of cost representing its head office by International High School of Medicine, International University of Kyrgyzstan to promote student initiatives and fulfill their dreams.

First of all, it aims to contribute to the development of civil society in Central Asia by turning talents, skills and experience gained by student community to practical uses, such as cross-culture dialogue, improving educational standards for international diploma recognition, supporting poverty and encouraging tourism in Kyrgyzstan and the region among the youth etc. It conducts trainings, seminars, educational fairs and organizes meetings for representatives of universities, local governments and NGOs.

Secondly, the motto in this case is to make Kyrgyzstan popular to the outside world so that people around the world know the importance of Kyrgyzstan, its values, tradition, culture and people through which tourism sector could be developed. ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ believes in uniting students from the entire world as ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ is not restricted to Kyrgyzstan or the region but for students from the entire world in order to develop Kyrgyzstan mainly.

Thirdly, ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ is engaged in promoting English language and making members realize the importance of English and its use as an international dialect worldwide because all members and participants of ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ speak in English. Books, Pamphlets, Guides, Text books and Dictionaries are a part of the ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ library which acts as tools in the promotion process.

Fourthly, ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ is engaged in the process of uniting students from various universities across Kyrgyzstan and the world. Representatives of ‘ISN-TUNDUK’ personally meet the administrative staff of universities and discuss with them the need for nest cooperation among students of either university. Debates and game competitions are ensured that are the main events which promote such type of associations. Many such associations among universities have been formed yet. OPINIONS:-

‘Adult population has experience and money but have no time for implementation of their good will in development but this is contrast in case of youth as they have time but no money’, ‘Kyrgyzstan has strong natural and political recourse for support of student’s activities’ says Dr. Elena P. Alekseeva who is a Pediatrician by profession but is the founder and expert member of ‘ISN-TUNDUK’.

“Students have the potential to perform activities that are profitable to the humanity, with much zeal and enthusiasm when compared to other professionals”, says Mir Ali Muhzamedziev general manager of a Tours and Travel Company located at Kievskaya.

Students who are in the medical field (doctors) have taken up the task of educating people towards AIDS awareness and other dangerous diseases, proper usage and dosage of drugs, sanitation and hygiene. “Informing people about the prevention of hazardous diseases is more important than its cure” says Radhika Namburi who is a 1st year student of medicine and member of “ISN-TUNDUK”. “People should be educated on using condoms and having safer sex and should be emphasized in the usage of disposable and sterile syringes to prevent AIDS epidemic” feels SMRK Sagar, 2^nd yr student of medicine, also an active member studying in ISM, IUK.

Students constituting the economics, commerce and law field have taken the responsibility to educate the people on paying taxes on time, insuring themselves and setting up seminars and camps in order to make people realize the minus points of Kyrgyzstan and other countries joining the HIPC initiative. “Our organization will give an opportunity to each student to integrate and unite to overcome cultural misunderstanding and finally gain tolerance in our society”, says Altynai Djumasheva, a Kyrgyz law student who is also a member studying in Kyrgyz Russian Slavic University. “This is a fantastic opportunity to learn from each other, to achieve dreams and unite for a better future; Out of one smile we can make a laugh, and out of one action we can make a difference” feels Solomatova Alexandra, also student of Kyrgyz Russian Slavic University.

Students in the engineering and biotechnology field give advice to people on new agricultural techniques, water conservation and ecological education and also keeping the people informed regarding internet and its usage. “People should learn how to use the internet which is the basic necessity these days to bring nations and people closer to each other” says Zain Javed, Pakistani student, also a member. “It is very important to guide the people regarding the pollution and how to recycle waste products for a healthier ecology” says Cholpon Junusova, student of Kyrgyzstan Manas Turkey University, also a member.

Active ISN-TUNDUK members and students such as Zain Javed and Moazzem of Pakistan and Girish, Prince and Mustafa of India have similar views. All student members actively take part in charitable activities organized regularly by ISN-TUNDUK in Orphanages and Old Age Homes. Members collect donations, old clothes, buy candies and chocolates and distribute them in these needy places in the suburbs of Bishkek and other cities across Kyrgyzstan.

ISN-TUNDUK is determined to make a contribution in strengthening democratic process, fostering freedom speech and media with its promotion in Central Asia and overseas, providing better opportunities for professional development of students and developing contacts with colleagues from other countries. Such organizations will surely help in the development of the world and is the solution to many sociological problems oh humanity in the world."

Definitely the name of my cousin was there on top of this article but I had removed just to make it fit for my blog. I have a rule for not having any names on this blog - at least intentionally. There are many names in the above article and none of these respected are known to me. I have posted the complete article without reviewing it. But I do take its responsibility. The names here belong to the article and not my blog - I have nothing to do with them! I know I am a bit confused with what I am trying to write but whatever it is, it is with the best of intentions. There seems to be some problem with the formatting of this post - I dont have the patience to put it right, please.

Words

Today I wrote around 5000 words in all and I have no plans to do much with what I have written. But I feel good that I didnt waste my time listening to music or reading some novel. Though what I had written is not anything productive, I did do something substantial.




On Monday I had been to McDonald's with 10 more friends of mine. It was great being there with so many people.




Today I woke up t 12 and spent time with the newspaper. Yesterday night I had a good chat with my cousin on world politics and religion. I slept after 2 am. In the evening I browsed tens of websites trying for new things that work with blogs and webpages. I found many but not for the blogs I presently have in open.

But please, not in front of me!

Yesterday it was only after switching off my computer that I realised that I had forgotten to update this space. I didn't take the time to switch it on again and write the post.




Today morning I woke up around 8 am. I had my cousines visiting today and I was waiting for them to arrive. My mother cooked Chicken Biryani and left for my grandparents' house at 11:15 pm. My father went to his school - he had the Independence day celebrations there. My brother had plans to meet his old school friends at his school ang go out for a movie with them. He left home at 9 am but to my surprise he returned back without watching the movie - the friends who had promised to give him company didn't turn up. He played football with some of his other classmates and returned home.




My cousines arrived around 1:30 pm. After that I don't really remember how time passed by and when they left at 8 pm, I was already tired. i didn't do much but I felt somthing tiring. As decided we played on Playstation the game - 'Crash Team Racing'. The pic I have posted is a snap of that game.




After they left i went upstirs to the terrace. It was dark there when I entered the open, but when i was leaving, it seemed like a beautiful place dimly lit up by distant lights and some fainting moonlight. I just roamed around on the terrace walking one corner to another. I had several things on my mind, and everything gave me more bliss. Once I even stood at a place to feel if the pleasant breeze was from the west side or the east side of my house. It was confusing. There is a mad reason why I wanted to know the direction of the wind - anybody interested, please ask. I want to be asked about it! This time! Please.




Today, for the second time, I realised that I need to be more clear and cautious about what I write on this blog. One of my previous posts 'moody idiot' is now very famous among my cousins and my brother is spreading false things about me relating to that and creating a hype out of it. But still I need a place to write what I feel. i started this blog with that purpose. When i write something, it is a kind of my most personal feelings dissolved into the details of what all I do on that particular day. There are usually so many things I hide between what all I write here and I want to continue that. (These hidden things are like the codes and information which Dan Brown says Da Vinci used to hide in his paintings ... please don't laugh. i found this as a better explanation of 'hidden things'!) I simply cant stop with the reason everybody is reading it and creating a mockery. I dont mind anybody talking about it, but please, not in front of me! I feel embaracced.




Today I updated Flowing Emotions. I did it because i wrote here 2 days back that I am going to do it. I hardly had any mood to write but just forced it out and I am happy with that.




The last pic is that of my cousin sister's children. They live in Austin, Texas.

Crash team racing

I do not know after how many months or years that I woke up at 8 am on a Sunday. I had to because there was a test I was supposed to write. It was conducted by a coaching institute for CAT and even this test was in lines with CAT. It was tough but I enjoyed going through the questions. I had seen CAT papers before but never with such seriousness. Later after the test I went to another institute to get the details of their coaching classes and programmes for CAT.




I reached home around 3 pm and had my lunch. I slept after that.




In the late evening, at 9:25 pm we left for a restaurant. This was a vegetarian one. Its new and my father wanted to check out the food there. Its at Masab Tank - The Taj Exclusive. I liked the food and the dinner was fine.




Yesterday I took a novel from my cousin - "Northern Lights". I just read the first few pages andf ound that its too simple a novel for me to read. But I will go ahead with the complete and finish it in the next few days. In a day or 2 I will update my other blog - Flowing Emotions. The next post will be titled as "The King and The King Maker".




This coming week I have 2 holidays and I hope to make something productive out of it. On one of the days my cousin ha promised to come over to my house and we plan to play some games on Playstation! On Saturday we were recollecting the days when we used to play Playstation a lot and there was this particular game 'Crash team racing' which was our favorite. We had a craze for these games and my favorites were 'Ace Combat 2&3' and 'Driver 2'. There were other interesting games like 'tekkan 4', 'NFS 4', 'Resident Evil', and some James Bond games. I remember spending hours in front of the television. My cousin and I intend to relive those days on Tuesday or Wednesday!

Naive I was

I was about 20 minutes late for the movie. There was some misunderstanding about the timings and may be even if I had known the exact time, I might have had just not be able to make it on time. The movie was the lastest one by Shah Rukh Khan and I liked it a lot. Though I missed some part, it was not at all a difficulty for me in understanding. it was a bit of a serious movie and worth a watch.




Yesterday, after attending the wedding function I stayed at my aunt's house and spent some good time with my cousin who is here from Kyrgyzstan. We lay in the bedroom in the night in dark and began talking about our past days. The days when he used to live in Riyadh and come to India every year. Even my other cousins would visit India at that time of the year and we used to go out for picnics every Sunday. We would spend a lot of time together playing, shouting, enjoying. We recollected our visits to zoo, Srisailam and several other places.




Those days are gone and they will never come. My cousin will leave for some other country after his medicine in Kyrgyzstan and I will be somewhere else after some years. My other cousins will have their own way - USA of course. We may never be at one place again for years to come and there hardy seems any probability that we will get together again at one place, at one time. We had some serious talks in the night yesterday.




Before that we both went to Hi Tech city in the night itself. It was around 12 midnight when we were back home. It was mesmerising moving around in the night on the empty city roads.




In the last 10 days I feel I have learnt many new things and I feel glad about it. There were some big changes in my mindset and I realised how naive I was all this time. All this is basically because of my uncle and my sister. Even my elder cousin brother left a big mark on me. I am feeling better after a lot of time and I know this is here to continue. I am back to my prayers at their best again and this reminds me of my days a couple of years back.

WTO and Stocks

Today was the third day that I drank a chocolate flavored drink - 'Horlicks'! I am drinking it just a few minutes before sleeping. My purpose is just to drink some milk and that I need to add semething to it - I am not going for coffee - I wanted to have just plain chocolate - but that was getting too plain, so I first thought of trying this thing 2 days back and I liked its taste. I didn't expect 'Horlicks' to taste this good!




Today I started reading an e-book on WTO. I read a few pages and liked it a lot. Then I read a short booklet, an e-book again, on stocks and stock markets. It was a small 13 pages thing and I enjoyed the information.




Tomorrow I have to attend a marriage function and my parents said they r in no mood to hang out this week. They have asked me to go with my othere cousines. So if I go tomorrow, I may miss an update here. I will b staying back at my aunt's place in the night.




Today I had my last class at 12:30 pm. Our lecturer was on leave and we were left free with no other lecturer interested in taking a class.

It is ridiculous

It was nice being back at the college after 2 days of home. There were 3 straight theory classes and nothing much of interesting stuff in them to be discussed! In the evening I went to a theatre to buy tickets for a movie. Its on Saturday - a second Saturday for that matter - a holiday.




After coming home I slept for a couple of hours and thats the reason I am still awake. Its 11:30 pm already and from today I will start sleeping a little early. I will try to wake up early too!




Presently I have headphones on me and I guess I have finally learned to type with music still going on in my ears. Untill a few months back I always used to do some mistakes with the language while writing, but now its alright.




Today I still had some memories of the Sunday I spent with my cousines in the bus while going to Karimnagar; even my time in Karimnagar. It was like a special gap created in my routine that gave me a lot of happiness and some understanding of where I was going and where I am supposed to go. A very special thanx to 3 people - my uncle, my cousin brother and my cousin sister.




Whenever somebody says something good to us, we say that that person has made our day. Some years from now I am going to say that my cousin sister has made my life. She will always remain the best person in my life. (Its ridiculous, there are so many things that are to be done 'some years from now'. Such a shame on me)




Today my brother bought a radio home. He has got a new craze now. I hope he doesnt get carried away with that.

Money speaks. But when it is earned by you, it speaks louder

It was on August 2nd when I gave my last update. Its 6 days now after that. On 3rd it was my cousin sister's marriage in the evening and with my cousins I enjoyed every single moment. Contrary to the expectation, the function got over a little early - at 1:30 am. But it took a little more time for me to go to sleep. The next day though it was raining I went to he college at 12:30 pm. I had only 2 of my friends there and we stayed in the college till 2:30 pm. It was a friday and while performing the ablution I had removed my jacket. My shirt got wet and soon after the prayers I put on the jacket even while my shirt was wet. I suffered with fever till today morning.






The next day, Saturday, too it as raining and when I went to the college I found very few people and again there were no classes. I was back home by 12 noon. I went to my grangperants' house then. I spent the day without thinking much and trying not to wonder anything. I was fine.







Sunday morning I had to leave for Karimnagar to attend my cousin's reception. I woke up early, got ready and went to my uncle's house. It was from there that the hired bus was supposed to pick us up and take us to Karimnagar. I had almost all my cousins there except for a few who had to attend some other functions back in hyderabad.







More than half of the journey I sat alone in the bus. All my cousins and 2nd cousins were enjoying sitting in the back seats. They were shouting, singing, and enjoying the music that was being played. I didnt like to be with them and do all this. I found more happiness in being alone. Every now and then one of my cousins would come and sit beside me, ask me to come back, i would tell him that I would be there in some time, and he would leave. When Karimnaga was an hour away, we took a break at a dhaba. While getting in my cousin sister asked me to come back. I was there with her and another cousin till the rest of the journey.







We finally reached Karimnagar at 7 pm and by the time we entered the function it was already 9:15 pm. I spent a lot of time with my cousin brother who is a doctor. He told me several things about medicine in India and all the malpractices by college managements and the pharmaceutical companies. He shared many of his experiences with me. I was overwhelmed to know all that. We had a good time together. After the photo session we went to see my sister's house in Karimnagar. We finally left Karimnagar and I reached my home at 6:10 am. That was Monday morning. I slept at 6:30 am and woke up at 1:10 pm. I had no chance of going to the college. I also had fever.







On my journey back home in the bus, I was with my sister. We were surrounded by all our cousins who were dancing, singing and trying to do everything they could. I had some very nice talks with her even with this noice going on. She told me several things. She made me realise several things. She always makes me feel nice whenever we talk. Now she is back in Gulbarga. She is busy with her internship of BDS.







I didn't go to the college even today. I was feeling weak and my mother insisted that I should take rest. I spent most of the time sleeping.







When I gave my last posting here, I had forgotten that there are many people who are reading it. Many of my cousins read it and asked me what had happened that day. I called myself a 'moody idiot' and everybody understood in some worng context - not in the one I had intended to call myself that. There are things I can't expect them to understand, and there are things i don't want them to understand. I am better off unclear with all this. But when things go closer to speculation, I need to be a little cautious. I guess I will think twice before I write anything on this blog from now on!







When I was sitting alone in the bus on Sunday, and was not coming back to sit with my cuzns, they all started shouting 'blogger'. At first I didn't understand what they were doing. When I understood that it is 'blogger' they were shouting, I froze, and kept quiet. Somebody shouted 'he is not understanding', and they all stopped. I was relieved. But I felt nice in a way :D







This picture was taken by my brother. He fell in love with my forehead. There are few more pics that were taken last week on my family blog. The ones taken in Karimnagar will be posted soon.

A moody idiot

When dinner was out, I was called by my parents to the drawing room - thats where it is being served now a days because everybody at home has found more enjoyment in a daily soap that starts at 10 than is staying quiet for sometime and having the food feeling together. I went to the room, took a plate, helped myself with all I wanted to eat, tok the plate out into the hall and sat in front of my computer to eat. My brother asked my father why I am not sitting with them - I answered back saying I don't want to watch anything that was going on in the television.





Then I thought of adjesting my system's subwoofer and for that I had to move the table a little. This created a 'screechy' noice. My mother shouted "what happened?" I calmly replied "nothing". Sheasked again. I didn't know how much of my voice was reaching her. I shouted out back aloud "nothing". I sat back on the chair. But my father came running to me. He was looking angry, and started scolding me for shouting so loud at my mother. He seemed to be very angry and my mood since evening began to talk with me - I was just thinking about it to myself - "please slap me father, no matter what the reason is. I want to be punished for everything I have done, felt or feeling, or have been through." I wanted to hurt myself physically and I wanted my father to do it for me.




After I had told him that it was thesecond time that I had to shout aloud cos my voice was not reaching, he turned back and walked away. It looked as if he was just trying to show some anger and he was not at all angry.




Now, the reason that I have written the above was just to show how I was feeling in the evening today. It has got nothing to do with my fahter. I just wanted somebody to hit me. It was a coincidence that my father got angry but even that didnt work for me. I wanted myself to be punished for several reasons. But I am fine now. I wrote a poem and read it several times. It made me feel better.




Somedays back I just asked myself why I was writing this blog. I go the answer immidiately - so that I can read it after a few years and laugh at myself - for obvious reasons so obvious that I cant put them here!




I really really wanted to update Flowing Emotions today - I had wanted it yesterday too. But I couldn't, actually I didn't. I have thought about a few things for this new post and I want it to materialise it soon. Tomorrow I have my sister's wedding to attend so even tomorrow I may not be able to do it. How much I wish I could write whenever I want - I always have to wait for the right inspiration and mood. I am turning into a moody idiot.

Nothing today - I don't feel like writing now.