Yesterday when I came out of the class at 12:30 pm for the lunch recess, I didn't know that I was not going to attend the Computer Graphics lab that was going to start at 1:20 pm. After having having my lunch one of my friend's told me that he was not feeling like attending it. Even I said the same thing. I called a cousin of mine and confirmed with him about meeting in the evening.
Two of my friends were leaving the college at 1:30 pm to watch the movie 'Guru'. Initially, I wasn't interested. But I thought it would be just fine if I take along with them, and at 2:15 pm were at a theatre, Venkanramana. We got the tickets with ease and the movie went on upto 5:15 pm.
The movie was worth watching. I somehow felt that the story was similar to that of 'The Fountainhead'. The role played by Abhishek Bachan was pretty close to a role that can be created by bringing together the two major characters of the novel - Howard Roark and Gail Waynand. Aishwariya Rai too was close Dominique Frankon in the way in which she supports 'Guru' all through his fight as a businessman. I didn't like th songs in the movie.
After the movie my friends dropped me at Koti and I went to see m cousin at Masab Tank. I didn't go till his house - called him out. He was ready waiting for me and in a few minutes we were at City Center. There at a shop named Max we spent around 20 minutes. I had to buy some gifts - for my father and 2 of my friends. I bought a flower vase for my father. It was his birthday on 12th of January.
We had a burger at McDonald's after that. We decided not to drink anything there and bought some cool drink bottle on our way to Panjagutta. We went to Archie's Gallery. I was searching for something I saw at Max. I thought Archie's would be having some more variety on that. But no success. There I decided that I would be going to Max again and buy what I have seen. I had seen this particular thing long way in the December and it was then itself that I had decided to gift it to a friend.
Our next stop was Cafe Coffee Day at Jubilee Hills. We stayed there for almost an hour. We had an apple flavored 'hukka' and Cafe Frappe! It was good to be there even though there was something not completely fine with the 'hukka'. But we enjoyed it. Then we came back again to City Center - Max, and I bought the gift. I was at home around 9:15 pm. My parents greeted me with their smiles and were glad to see me home 15 minutes before the time I had told them I would be coming - 9:30 pm.
After coming home I had chats with a few friends and cousins. By the time I went to sleep it was already 12:15 am. I wanted to sleep early - I was too tired. Today I woke up at 6 am. When I turned on the computer at 6: 20 am I found my sister online, finally. We had a short chat and now, I am here writing this post.
The 'hukka' was fine. This was my third meeting with this gentleman. And like the last 2 times, I had a little tough time with it for the first 20 to 30 minutes. The first few intakes hit my throat and head. I immediately started feeling giddy. I thought I would perhaps fall. I was also thinking how I would reach my home. Along with that I was having coffee. But slowly my lungs and blood got used to the smoke and I was enjoying the flavor and feeling of letting out this smoke from my mouth and nostrils. The first few minutes are always testing I thought!
Lately I have been thinking if my actions and behavior match with the character I have and intend to possess. If someday my parents have to introduce me to anybody, they would say "meet my son Zubair. He is doing his engineering from Muffakham Jah. He is in CSE and in the last semester he has scored 68% marks. His aggregate is around 72%. He has many friends and he roams around with them a lot. He frequents a lot to Sarvi, Ohri's, Coffee Day, Pizza Hut, KFC, McDonalds, HC, City Center and the similar kind of places. He smokes 'hukka' too. And he watches a lot of movies."
It would be a different thing that many of the places they refer are the ones I visit once only in months, the hukka I had was just the third time and I don't usually watch more than one movie per month. I have seen them already do this a few times but it was never in a sarcastic way or in a way in which it could insult me or at least present me as a person who is a freak. But I know that someday it can cost me several thing. I don't know what exactly I am but a good part of what my parents would be true.
Then to make things more serious I opened a new chapter in the book of my engineering yesterday. It was a class of Design and Analysis of Algorithms going on. An aged professor teaches us this subject and he hardly cares to who is listening. I was feeling sleepy so I moved back tot he second bench. I highlight the words 'second bench'. I listened to the class for sometime until I got excited to see people around me listening to music on their cell phones. Of course they had the ear phones.
I thought of giving it a try. Beside me was my friend who was listening to some music too. I took the right side ear phone from him and put it to my ears. I listened to 2 songs - none of them fully - a song form the movie 'Taal' and 'It's My life' by DJ Alban. It was just a matter of 10 minutes that I was sure everybody knew I was doing this. Later I came to know it made a good difference.
Now I wonder where I am going. I have been doing things I never thought I would ever do. I go to so many places, I listen to music in the class, I spend so much time with my friends ... the list goes on. This is not what I thought would be until a couple of years back. I have no regrets to anything I am doing except for the last thing I did - listened to music when the class was on.
I have perhaps flawed my character so many times by now. I have put in action things that contradict the behavior and the mind set I have - may be. I am not even sure if I can understand what is happening. Not is troubling me. I just don't want to loose anything I have build all these years in my heart and mind. I want to have a clean character and show it with my actions. If my actions show something else, the I am a hypocrite. It's a sin to be so.
I don't want to be like those who say somethings, do something else and believe in a completely new ideas. I want to be one. I intend to be so. I don't want anybody to say that my talk is 'big' or I am a fool thinking this way. May these things don't come to everybody's minds or may be they o. It makes a difference to me here. I don't want to have a loose character with holes in it. I don't know how others take these kind of things about themselves. Somewhere my integrity is being compromised.
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